Yeah, another double, but this one won't wait.
You know the birth of the child basically invalidates the pre-nup? He can scream until he is blue in the face - a court will insist he supports both his child and the mother until the child reaches the age of maturity (don't know what country/state you are in, so that is a variable, but the principle applies everywhere - even China.)
While every instinct is screaming at you to get out right now, I am going to ask you to do possibly the hardest thing you have ever done.
Wait. Every last scrap of his behavior needs to be documented - heck a bunch of us will kick in for a voice activated recorder to stick in your pocket to record his threats.
Right now, it is your word against his. He is the one that can afford lawyers, not you. Guessing not your family either. You need ammunition against him, something to level the playing field. That means staying in the trenches for another couple months. The law may be blind, but she can certainly smell money and treats it accordingly.
Right now, I want you to go read this. Memorise it, don't print it. You may not be able to wait too long, so you need to prepare. If you feel threatened, or the baby is threatened, do not wait any more. GET OUT!
Nasty, mean, abusive A*sholes are all over the place. Give them some money or power and they get a million times worse.
Now, click this link and follow the instructions. I'll not see you more at risk than you already are.
You are a good person, MM. Dear Asker, I wish you all the luck in the world to help you deal with your situation and I hope it all turns out well for you and your baby, and less so for your male mate (he doesn't deserve the title "husband" anymore).
It always amazes me how people can be like that, even though they know they're awful people, as can be seen by the "don't tell anyone or else." I just don't understand how such folks live with themselves. :/
OP: Remember you are better than this guy. MUCH better. Money can hide a person from the eyes of society fairly well, but once society has reason to see past that, they have nothing left. You have so much strength. Remember that, gather your proof, and stay strong for your child.
Many hugs your way.
MM is right on. Only thing I could possibly add is that when I had a friend in a similar situation, I was the person who was behind the scenes helping them (SECRETLY) to prepare to leave.
She brought things for the kids to my house, and slowly removed personal belongings, cash, photos, and anything important to her, and stored them at my house. I made copies of her documents also.
I hope and pray that there is ONE PERSON whom you can trust OUTSIDE OF YOUR HUSBAND'S FAMILY, FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS OR ANYONE HE KNOWS. Someone you can go to for support and assistance when you are finished what MM has suggested.
I know many of us will be thinking of you and wishing you well.
Get a lawyer.
nicely done MM. he's right about the prenup. your hubby is operating under the assumption that you are too stupid to find that out, because he probably thinks the only way you will find that out is by talking about it. and he has probably isolated you from...everybody that he can to make sure that doesn't happen. let me guess. you don't have any friends, or have lost most of them since you got with this guy, and your relationship with your family is strained at best. exposure is his biggest fear which is why he has threatened you. do you have that in writing by any chance? i would see if you can get him to put that in writing, by text or casual email convo, however you can get him to do it. how i would do it, if it was me, because my ex has a very short fuse in his addiction to his anger problems, if i emailed something that i know would trigger a heated response i would get a heated response. he's not exactly the type that takes time to cool off his response lol he fires off in the heat of the moment and, let's just say, gives me lots to work with. bottom line, the courts really don't like to see threatening stuff like that. maybe if you just alluded to the fact that you were going to have a lawyer look over that prenup might be enough. i hate to say something that may put you in the line of fire, but if you can find a way to do it when he's not right in front of you at the time that could help get you the written response you are looking for. he's right about the documentation too. you need to get proof of his ugly before you leave, or it WILL be your word against his. if you can prove what a douche he is, not only will you get support, you'll get more. not sure how long you've been married either, but chances are he will be required to maintain the standard of life you have been accustomed to, for his babys sake and for yours as well. good god, there are so many reasons why you need to get out, but as many reasons why you need to stay, for now. but you can stay and be smart about it too, which my guess is, he won't be suspecting that you are about to prove him the stupid one. lastly, if you have any kind of an opportunity to seek emotional abuse counselling at the very least without him finding out, that will help you tremendously. and it will also help your case, particularly if you can get it in before you have that prenup looked at, but it won't matter even if you begin it when you can safely. you should get it, it truly saved my life. and also, the one i went to was very safe. lots of security. lots of cameras. lots of locked doors. so, they know what you are going through, and truly have the resources to help you. sometimes even legal ones. so if you really have no choice, a woman's shelter as a resort in case of emergency has a tremendous number of resources for you and your child until this gets sorted out in a safe, secure, and fair way for you. it WILL. it is just a matter of time so long as you start taking control, and stop letting him. for now it's about letting him think he has control, while you get your resources together. make sure you USE BOTH LINKS MM gave you too. good luck.
All the others have had better advice so I will just say your husband is a real shitbag and I hope you and your baby are able to get away from this heinous sleazeball. Not all the money in the world can buy class. Good luck to you.
Good luck!! MM has given you some fantastic advice. I'll keep you in my thoughts today.
Don't take anymore risks than you have to! Good luck dear asker :(
Great advice MM, so long as your askers are in the West, and I sure hope she actually isn't in China because those principles DO NOT apply there. Trust me, I am all too familiar how it goes in China...
Keep in mind unless you replace your computer hard drive, everything from your emails to your internet history can be accessed. Even if you delete.
I think you need to find yourself a good divorce lawyer ASAP so that he can advise you.
Good point:
http://eraser.heidi.ie/
Run it while he isn't home on max level and including freespace, it takes some time.
Divorce lawyer - not until she is out and safe. I don't trust this guy at all.
I would call a divorce lawyer and see what the laws say in your state. Most offer a free consultation. They can let you know what types of evidence your court can accept, what the laws say, etc. so you don't have to listen and believe his lies.