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Mystery Man

 
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I absolutely hate rubbing lotion on my boyfriend's back and he always gets upset that I refuse to do it. But just yesterday his roommate rubbed lotion on my bf's back right in front of me. It totally looked gay and I felt uncomfortable. Is this normal?

It sounds like your boyfriend's need to have lotion rubbed on his back has turned him gay. The big question is why do you hate rubbing lotion on your boyfriend's back? Do you have allergies to the lotion or problems with your hands? Does your boyfriend have nasty pimples, a rash or a lot of grease on his back?

For some people getting rubbed, caressed or fondled is an absolute deal-breaker and your guy has this need in spades.

The only way to bring him back to the heterosexual world is to give him a back a rub. Perhaps you could wear thin latex gloves or invite one of your very hot girlfriends to do it for you. This should very quickly get him back on track.

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13 Comments

user-pic

"It sounds like your boyfriend's need to have lotion rubbed on his back has turned him gay"

LMAO. Dang. I've gotta remember to step my backrub game up.

Michael Swaim

I also lol-ed at this sentence. It's the kind of sentence I always hope to overhear on line at the movies or in a psychiatrist's office.

Mannon

Hahaa, oh Mystery Man, take a bow. That was masterful.

Nick Nadel

What? Where do they live that random roommate lotion application is occurring? Melrose Place? The house on VH1's Sex Therapy?

user-pic

Who requires regular lotion applications on their back? I've never heard of this.

Penryn

Florida maybe? sun screen? otherwise I'm not sure...

IrishRugby2

A dude wants lotion on his back. You're weird and for some reason won't do it for him. Who else is there but his roommate? If he asked another girl, you'd be crying about how he may or may not be cheating on you. This poor dude just wants to be soft and you're willing to deny him this right as an American just because you have some goofy hang up?

Get over yourself and lotion your dude up. It's not a big deal.

user-pic

Amen! If a guy is willing to be all nice and soft skinned for you, rub it all over his body if need be. Not only is it a nice moment between you two, but you get to touch and he gets a backrub. Win-Win situation going on here!
If he's got zits, replace the lotion with some zit cream. Rash? Ointment!
Be sneaky 'bout it though.

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"It sounds like your boyfriend's need to have lotion rubbed on his back has turned him gay"

That made me laugh out loud. In fact, this whole post was hilarious. Well done.

Laje Kahr

Okay, from a different perspective. I have a think about scratching people's backs. I think I watched one to many CSI episodes and the thought of getting their skin under my fingernails kinda weirds me out, so I think I can understand where the questioner is coming from.

But, trust me it's worth getting over you concerns. My wife has severe metal allergies, so her back (under that silly bra snap) is constantly itchy and in need of attention. At first I was a pain about doing it, but now I've found it's not really that bad. And to make things better she's happier cause she's having her need met.

Peace.

user-pic

Gay? Try "HOT." Damn, I'd give my left boob to watch a couple of young red-blooded boys rub each other up all lotion-y... dude, just sit back and enjoy the view.

user-pic

Hell yeah. I wanna watch too.

user-pic

What a lovely day for a 2485699! SCK was here

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