Start at the beginning.

"Duh, gee, thanks for nothing," you grumble.

Be patient and let me explain in my own way.

A couple of years ago, one of the big abandoned tenements near my home was torched.
After a year of just the brick shell standing there, randomly and vindictively dropping bits of masonry on passers-by, the town council slapped a purchase order on it, tore it down and sold the rubble filled lot, dirt cheap, to one of the local community groups. Of course, by the time the sale went through, the world and his wife had used it as a dumping ground for pretty much every form of trash in existance.
It took months to get rid of the trash and sort out the useful rubble. It seemed like no sooner was one load cleared than someone would dump some more. But then something odd started happening. Guys, mostly not even from the area, began to dump stuff like bricks, or the odd bag of sand or cement, or good topsoil that they had removed from another building site. Useful things.

Much more time was spent preparing the hardscaping, then the soil - sieving, improving and shifting - and planting, but now, instead of a vacant lot, there is an extraordinarily pretty little walled park with a path made from the old bricks, a small pond and a couple of benches in the middle of the lot, a silver birch and masses and masses of flowers.
The whole neighborhood uses it, enjoys it, maintains it and loves it. Even the local gangs respect it - there is no tagging, no vandalism and I have seen them weeding and picking up paper there, just because.

Need the story explaining?

Right now you are at the rubble and trash filled lot stage. Things will grow there, sure - mainly weeds and trashwood. Stunted, twisted and spindly things, nothing really pretty or really worth having.
Sit yourself down, either by yourself or with a friend or a therapist, and start sorting out the rubble left behind by your first boyfriend's fire and demolition job and clearing out the trash that has been thrown into you by subsequent ones. It will take time. Maybe a little time, maybe a lot, that no one can tell you.

The trash can go. Dump it without a second thought. Some of the rubble, though, makes a fine foundation and path for your love life. Build on what you have learned, using what you got and what the kindness of strangers can give you.

Only then, once your mind is cleaned up, set up and the soil ready can you plant a relationship that has a chance to grow well. Dating then will no longer seem silly.