Weird. I have had exactly the same problem with atheists. And vegetarians, cause screw those guys*. Fortunately, both of those are fairly thin on the ground.
If you want someone rational, well, you could go for a scientist. Except 60% to 70% of them believe in God and the afterlife too. And those figures run pretty much across the board. Except for engineers - those are around 7% - so they are probably your best bet.
So you got a wee bit of a problem. Your call if you are willing to cut down your dating pool by 60% because you simply cannot accept someone's faith or belief. But don't come complaining to me about it.
In other words, yeah, you are being too critical. The rest of the single population thanks you for throwing these amazing guys back to be hooked up with someone else. You'd be providing a service if you posted names and cities - there are enough people asking questions on here that can't find one decent man.
You are doing exactly the same as the hyper-religious do. "I can't be with someone not of my faith." And the exact same thing you'd complain about if these guys had dumped you for being atheist.
You can't catch religion, ok? It ain't contagious. Your beliefs are yours. Why not remove your prejudices and look at the guys without your distorting lenses.
Even if they themselves are avowed atheists, you wanna bet their families are not? Ready for that battle? Christmas will be awkward, to say the least (Do atheists even celebrate Christmas? If so, why?). Marriage is also gonna be a bit of a moral quagmire for you, being as it is a man and woman united in the eyes of God and man. And don't even get me started about as and when you have kids. That, as someone with parents and in-laws from four different religions, is a freaking nightmare.
Talk about a non issue as a dealbreaker ....
Sure, I am teasing you slightly. I am allowed to. You asked me, not the other way around. Redefine your question, and the answers you expect. If you want rational guys, stop engaging in muddy thinking.
May God bless you and keep you.
* Note: don't screw those guys should have been what I said. Seriously, vegetarians suck. Except for my lady, of course, who is awesome. And vegetarian. And a heathen, hell bound Buddhist, but no one is totally perfect.
I don't think you're being too harsh at all. In fact, I think MM was being rather unhelpful here! I'm also an atheist and I completely get where you're coming from. You wouldn't seriously date someone who didn't want kids if you really wanted them. Why would you date someone with a radically different worldview if you foresee problems down the line (especially with marriage into a religious family or how to raise children, etc)? It makes sense to me to want to be with someone with at least similar beliefs to yours. Not to mention the scariness factor of dating someone who thinks there's a man in the sky watching you all the time who says that women are subservient!
Try online dating, date guys who are well-educated or who seem rational and generally open-minded, and try to bring your beliefs up early (not in an awkward way, but this is second- or third-date material to me.) Those would be my tips. I'm engaged to an amazing atheist, and have dated a few others - don't worry, it does happen :)
You failed to fully understand MM's response.
She's calling everyone who does not agree with her, irrational, and basically is insulting to everyone different from her. That kind of attitude is going to even turn off most men who actually agree with her, and those who like or share her bigotted attitude are probably going to be asses anyway.
That, was what MM is sayin.
I would think that bigotry would be limited to disliking people for things they can't help or don't choose: race, orientation, gender, etc. Religions are belief systems you opt into, like political creeds or philosophies, so in that sense I think it's valid to pick your life partner based on the way they see the world. You choose to believe based on whatever values or ethics you find valid. There's a difference between refusing to be friends with a religious person and choosing not to spend your life with someone with a radically different belief system. I'm saying that I think MM's response is unhelpful because I think that calling an unwillingness to commit to someone you fundamentally disagree with 'bigotry' or 'mockery' unfair.
I agree, but religion is a very serious personal issue. You don't just change your religion like you change your underwear. People in the past have died rather than betray their faith, when perhaps all they needed to do was convert.
And I said she should consider someone with similar views, I never said she shouldn't. Just pointed out, in her question, so did MM, that mocking people who don't isn't going to help her. Really, every one of these guys were "amazing", until she found out they believed in a religion, and instantly after she finds out, they are, irrational? To me that would be no different than complain she chatted with an amazing guy, then saw his picture and found out, he is, say black, and lost interest.
You think religion discrimination isn't discrimination? Try doing that in the workplace (in America at least) and see what happens. You'll get sued as quickly, fined by the EEOC as quickly, as if you had discriminated against race or ethnicity. Not to mention the bad PR that goes along when the media smears your company on TV.
I have to agree with Mr. X. I'm an Atheist but I don't judge people based on their religious beliefs. I would never insult theists because I would be insulting my parents, friends and pretty much everyone I love and care for. However, I would never consider marrying a religious person because, let's be honest, conflicts will start when deciding about how to raise children, and there will always be some kind of tension.
Don't judge all theists just because of their faith but that doesn't mean that you should let them judge you either and/or insult you. Let's agree on disagree and respect each other.
Oh, and don't give up. There are way more Atheists around than what it seems :)
You missed the point of MM's response. He wasn't so much saying she should compromise, as much as he was saying her bigoted attitude, by insulting and mocking all who don't believe exactly what she believes, might be the reason she can't find even one "decent guy".
It's her right to be with a man who shares her views, MM said that.
Would you criticize a religious person who blatantly refused to date outside their religion because those people "were doomed"? Yes? Than you must criticize and atheist who refuses to date outside their beliefs and "aren't rational".
I'm atheist. I date who i like. It doesn't matter their religion. I agree with MM. This girl is saying that just because these guys believe in god that she can't date them. Atheist isn't a religion. But the absence of one. I am so very open minded to all religion. And it seems like just because they are religious that they wont have anything in common. I don't care if they believe in god or many gods. If i can have a good time with those people and love them for who they are then everything is fine with me :)
I'm dating a great guy who's athiest and I'm not. I'm wiccan, I've also dated christans, jewish men, and hard core catholics. no point in throwin 'em in before you find out how hard core and how bendable they are. the guy I'm with is fine with my religon and it honestly is barely even noticed. sure, It may pop up one day, but I don't think it'll bother him too much that we beleive in different things.. after all, we made it through hockey season me being a hardcore canucks fan and him rooting for the bruins ;p
Personally, with the kids issues which everyone is always jumping on in mixed religous relationships, I want my kids to decide for them selfs what they beleive. It irritates me a bit when parents force religion (or atheist beleives) on kids.
I do agree with MM, I think your being to harsh. but i suppose to each their own.. like he said, I'm sure the women who end up with these men are happy! just remember a chunk of that small pool of atheiests are probebly dating more then just other athiests.
Just as atheism is important to you - for some people their religion is important to them. There are extremists in any religion and maybe those are whom you are referring to. To presume that every person with a religious belief is irrational .. you're a bit out of touch with reality there. I think you should try to be a little less judgemental. For those who only date others with exactly the same belief system -yes pratical, yes easy, yes wonderful, but how boring! how conservative and how close minded to only consider those! If you love each other and you find the right person - make it work! I'm sure you can find a compromise on how to raise your children. Many other people do. Your belief that God and life after death is 'imaginary' is your belief that you are entitled to but don't forget to respect the beliefs of those who DO actually believe in God. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and to talk negatively about or dismiss another persons religion is very immature and very insensitive. If you are pretty set on only dating your own sort - maybe thats whats best for you.
I thought it was leprechauns
We are infact a part of the extended faery family.
Alright, I am atheist. Recently, I have been seeing someone who is Christian (and devout, but fortunately, not fundamental) at that. He actually sent me the link to this article -presumably so that I could put in my two cents ;-)
Before dating him, I was married to an another atheist and I told myself that dating free-thinkers was the only route for me. After our divorce, I began to re-evaluate that philosophy. MM brings up REALLY great points that I think you should heavily consider.
The one that I most favor is the truth in regards to our dating pool. If we stick to only dating other atheists, our chances are VERY slim, at best! If atheism is what you live, breathe, eat and sleep, then maybe you are someone who needs to date another atheist. However, since Atheism - unlike Christianity, etc. - is not a religion (or philosophy, for that matter) then our lack of belief should not be defining our every move.
However, with that being said, I truly believe that you have to decide what is "tolerable" for you. One of my main reasons for not wanting to date men who were theists was because of my biased perception that only another atheist could stimulate me intellectually. As a free-thinker, I should have know better...there are no absolutes. It does not logically follow that being atheist makes you an intellectual, or even a free-thinker (I've discovered this out thanks to good ole Facebook :-) If you can find someone who matches 95% of your personality, statistically, the other 5% is insignificant. If you are THAT compatible, I'm sure you will find a plethora of other things to talk about and do, rather than having religion seep its way into every aspect of your relationship.
Remember, most of us WERE theists at some point. I know for me, it was more out of tradition than total ignorance. Mostly for social reasons, I was too afraid to fully shed that belief system. I state this to assert the following: Just because someone is a theist, it does not mean that they are completely ignorant, nor unworthy of your time. Remember who you were when you were a believer, then maybe you can swallow this pill a little easier.
i agree with MM, maybe the mind is a little too closed on this topic. when we start limiting our dating pool based on certain characteristics, religion, smoking, age, occupation, etc, the only person we are selling short is ourselves. people limit themselves on what they are looking for and then complain they can't find what they want. i was raised fundamentalist baptist but am sort of non practicing but very spiritual and i married an atheist as well. the only time it was ever a problem was when he tried to convince me i was an atheist as well, his issues not mine, but i didn't use that as a reason to not be with him (it was his severely undiagnosed personality disorder that did us in lol ) you get what you give, if you want someone rational you are going to have to start being a little moreso yourself. it's tough to feel sympathy for someone who is limiting their own dating pool and then wondering why they can't find anybody.
The question shouldn't be why do atheists celebrate christmas, but why do chrisitians celebrate christmas? WOWZERS, a quick google search will enlighten the unenlightened that it is a pagan holiday,not a christian holiday.
Ah, so it makes sense to you, for atheists, who don't believe in any gods, any thing supernatural, anything spiritual, to celebrate a pagan (which believes in gods and spirits BTW) holiday, but it's irrational when a group who does believe in the supernatural celebrate a pagan holiday. Nice bit of logic there lol.
i'm an atheist, and so is my guy, so i guess i'm lucky. but i wouldn't reject a guy JUST BECAUSE of his religious affiliation (an exception would be made for fundamentalists, obviously). just because someone is religious (or atheist) doesn't necessarily mean he'll jam it down your throat and force you to go to church with him or something. it could cause complications in the future, but in the meantime, as long as you respect each other, what's the problem?
there is such a thing as a fundamentalist, non-open minded atheist. to me, atheism should be all about open mindedness. so please stop being a hypocrite and learn to accept people and look beyond belief differences (btw, i believe this is an argument many atheists have against religious people. maybe you and the believers aren't as different as you think. and i'm basing this on how you phrased your question, which comes off as fundamental and shallow IMHO.).
So that you're aware, atheism isn't "all about open mindedness" . . . just because YOU feel that way, doesn't make it true.
Perhaps you are confusing atheism with agnosticism.
Atheists very firmly do not believe in God. Agnostics are unsure or undecided. One would think you'd know this, as you claim to be an atheist.
Before you criticize the OP for being hypocritical, you might want to check a dictionary.
maybe your unlucky and single not becuase YOU'RE too picky, but because you call every single person who doesn't subscribe to the theory of evolution irrational and un-grounded. Maybe a super religious person would suit you great as they are equally as close minded.....
that said, if athiesm is important to you, be prepared to find a lot of people who prefer to believe in nothing and call themselves athiests.
If rationality is what is important to you, be prepared for a whole SLEU of world views, as most rational people form one.
Well, it is irrational and ungrounded not to accept a fact. There's more evidence for evolution than for gravity!
I could get into the plain logistics of types of evolution which ARE grounded, and not really denied by anyone. But that's not athiesm. Athiesm has many problems when it goes back to the matter of materiality, biological predestination and just the mere implication of beliefs. But yeah, go ahead and just reassure yourself that you're the only logical and rational person because you've obviously considered life from every possible angle......
I'm Christian and my boyfriend doesn't believe the things I do. We are just fine, because we are adults and aren't critical of each other.
Pssh! Atheists are JUST as illogical as religious folks! How anybody can be so "sure" that his or her beliefs are THE ONLY correct beliefs is beyond me. For somebody to be soooo sure that there is absolutely NO God is just as ridiculous as somebody being soooo sure that there is. She's equal to the men she's complaining about - nay, worse, because she's a bigot against religious folks!
Whooo boy. There are so many assumptions and generalizations being made here, I don't even know where to start.
First of all, I'm a Christian, and I believe in evolution. Yes, you can do both.
Secondly, someone above implied that being Christian and being a "free thinker" are mutually exclusive. They're not. I know many people, myself included, who are religious yet extremely liberal and open-minded. Not to mention the question asker's assertion that religious people can't also be rational. I think most of us picked up on how ludicrous and unfair that was.
I find it fascinating how hypocritical many atheists make themselves sound. They often end up doing the very thing that they so harshly condemn in religious people: being judgemental, close-minded, and buying into stereotypes.
Anywhoo, I think MM's point was that you're definitely putting yourself at a disadvantage here. You're turning down "amazing" guys because they don't agree with everything you believe? Maybe it's that none of THEM want to date YOU once they realize how condescending you are.
can i hear an "amen" lol
Yep, I do both myself. Christian, and see no issues with evolution.
You sound about as knowledgeable as a the Atheist who prays over dinner.
I agree that you're being very close-minded. If you find someone who can respect your values then you should be able to respect his too. I'm an atheist and have dated plenty of people in other religions. I didn't try to convert them and they didn't try to convert me. I'd rather date a Christian great guy than an atheist girl-beater.
I wonder if you take the time to figure out what religion means to these men before you shut them out. For some people, yeah, being religious means taking every word of the Bible literally, not believing in evolution, and all that. Other people, myself included, are able to accept science and logic, while at the same time believing in God. If it brings a man comfort to believe in life after death, and if he tries to be a good person because of it, where's the problem? As long as he's not trying to change what you believe, there's no harm in giving him a shot. Not every religious person is a zealot.
I think you should break up with him (wait for it) if it's really that important to you. If it's something that makes you lose all respect for him than you would both be better off with someone else. On the other hand if your both willing to be a little flexible than maybe you should stick it out.
p.s. your question makes you sound like a twat
My two cents.. and I realize that is all it's worth.
By definition religion is a set of beliefs, world views, etc. etc.
I have a few friends who are self proclaimed atheists, others who adhere to various religions, while most of my friends may or may not have a belief in a higher power and I wouldn't know because they never talk about it.
My two friends who are self proclaimed atheists are so vocal about their "lack of faith," that they are truly more opinionated than my Christian friends. In fact, to me atheism seems to be their religion as they so strongly meet all the definitions of what a religion is. This is an observation rather than judgement call.
To be honest, it has crossed my mind that they must find it harder than average to find a love interest. Not because they aren't nice or fun, but they sure express strong judgements against believers. As if they are in possession of the truth and brains and everyone else isn't rational. Black and white thinking can be harsh.
I guess I am a quiet agnostic, I am also tolerant of individuals' differing views.
Whoa, woman, I'm an atheist and I find your attitude crappy! I'd never date a woman with your personality. Calling everyone who disagrees with you irrational. Really? Its people like you, that give moral cause for religious types to accuse us of being exactly the same as the fanatics we are critical of. I don't agree with the beliefs of religious people, but I still respect them. I even have religious, very religious friends, see, we respect each other. I don't criticize them for believing in a God or gods, and they don't try to convert me. I've dated religious women before, again, we respected each other's point of view, though neither of us agreed with the other. If I ever get married, I'd probably marry an atheist, but only because I've seen too many friends have failed marriages over religious differences.
Try opening your mind, and not being a closed minded you know what. You're turning off even men who share your atheistic views.
My boything's an atheist, and it does throw up quite a few issues, like if we have kids sometime, we don't want them to feel like they're in a religious tug of war. There are basic aspects of my faith he just can't grasp or understand (it sometimes feels like he's missing a large chunk of things), and I'd imagine that knowing my god is more important to me than he is must feel a bit naff. So I completely understand wanting to avoid all these problems by keeping to your own religion (or anti-religion whatever).
However we make it work because we love and respect each other, and have accepted each other for what we are. I hang around with bunches of Christians most days but he's the one I want. So yeah, if you give these guys a chance you may be surprised!
Cool. I'm Christian, but when I first met my wife, she was a "godless commie atheist" (I'm mocking mean remarks mean Christians said about my wife) from China. Wasn't a problem for either of us. I didn't make any attempt to convert her, I just tried to be a decent husband. But, she became curious about Christianity, and decided she wanted to convert. I asked her why, and she said part of it was how I treated her, but also she felt the ideology she learned was lacking.
I admit, I think the OP has a valid point, religion and faith are important, can and do become issues in a relationship. But, sadly, I think her problem finding a decent man has nothing to do with her standard, but her attitude, which sucks.
First, OP, going around insulting people who disagree with you, isn't going to win you many friends, let alone boyfriends. Especially among other atheists, many who have to contend with bullshit about being hateful and condemning. Just as members of a particular religion condemn extremists in their faith, I've seen atheists shun militant condescending atheists such as yourself. Betrand Russel, who was a very prominent atheist, but a kind and polite one, once said militant atheists are the best friends of proselytizing Christians, since they have driven more people to Christianity than many evangelicals. CS Lewis, with his rationalism, probably brought more people into believing in God than any single individual in all of history, all because one atheist had your exact same attitude, and irritated Lewis, who at the time, was an atheist himself, decided after meeting that douchebag, being an atheist is bad.
The point is, it's fully your right to be with a man who shares your views, I think most people agree with that. But being a hateful little shrew about it isn't going to help your dating life.
Here I am, proving Mr. X's point:
Atheists like you prevented me from becoming an atheist. I was having a huge crisis of faith, but I my experiences with atheists had lead me to associate atheism with intolerance, judgment, and condemnation. That's not what I wanted, so I kept looking and thinking about what I believed, which lead me to agnosticism. I believe there is a higher power, but I'm not too sure on the specifics beyond that. And that belief gives me hope.
So thank you, militant atheist, for turning me off from your beliefs and forcing me to find something that I get more joy out of.
So it's the attitude of believers, not the strength or logical nature of the beliefs themselves, which changed your mind about them? That's... that's not a good way to pick religions, you know.
Uh, yeah, if the majority of members of a particular belief or ideology are acting like dbags, why would I want to become part of that system? So I can also be identified as a dbag too? I don't think so. Logic is the worse method to use anyway, just about any point can be "proven logically". It's called twisting the logic. Strength? Really? Communism and Nazism at some time in history were very strong, but would you honestly wanted to be a communist or Nazi? Highly doubtful.
Also, more often than not, it's examples from history that are used in arguments against religion, Christianity in particular, Islam too. But rarely "logic" and never strength, since both faiths are still very strong.
It's more like their attitudes kept me from buying in to their ideas too quickly. The atheists I had met didn't strike me as very nice people, so I didn't want to listen to them or affiliate myself with them. As a result, I kept an open mind, kept looking, and came to a conclusion that I'm more comfortable with. I may have in the end, decided that I still agreed the most with atheism, that just isn't the case for me. If I had been more comfortable around them and committed myself to atheism and stopped really asking myself what I had believed, I wouldn't be as happy as I am today.
Note to self. Stop being subtle.
So Mr. X or whoever you happen to be, your words are "LOGIC IS THE WORSE METHODS TO USE ANYWAY, JUST ABOUT ANY POINT CAN BE PROVEN LOGICALLY."
LOL....oh lordy lord. Where do I start?? Religion has no logic, it is the irrational phenomena that is being a human. How can logic be the worst method to use, especially if it can disprove nearly everything wishful and imaginery? You cant twist logic, logic is logic, you accept it or you dont. And the religious have refuse to accept what is, and have chosen to believe the irrational.
RELIGION was created out of our creative irrational minds to answer lifes question of where, why, and who we are. And how creative were we? Very, Im applauding. But our ancestors were wrong, our existence was much more beautiful, we are the very makeup of this glorious planet.
My thing is, we cant blame human beings on a whole (although we can of course) Im taking the sympathetic route and I blame the irrational human mind. Prone to wishful thinking, imaginery ideas, and the like.
We need to understand the pyschology of ourselves in order to unwrap the irrationality that is religion.
Haha B, or who ever you are, I thought it ironic you complain about religion, but use the term "lord".
"Prove" was a bad choice of word, I probably should have said debate or argue, because you can argue anything using logic. Happens in the scientific community all the time, even with disproven hypotheses that happen to be pet "theories" (and I use that term very loosely) of scientists The nastiest debates involving the most closed-minded people are scientists with their favorite theory that eventually didn't hold up to evaluation. Can you say "N-Rays"? Read the "Flat Earth" papers, with an unbiased mind. Logically, they are correct, as in they have an internally consistent structure to their cosmogeny that holds up to self-evaluation. Factually, they are wrong based on numerous evidenciary support, and I can say that because on my concorde flight, I saw the earth's curves, therefore I know the earth is a spheroid. Indeed, many explanations for observed phenomenon which seemed very logical ended up being wrong when observed, measured, and verified.
Hell, just for the fun of it and by using straight logic I've argued and even convinced some people the continent of Antarctica does not exist. Not that I actually believe that, I just put forth a logical argument why it could not exist.
What I am trying to say in this ramble, is logic is an important tool in science and life, but logic alone cannot be relied on as factual evidence. Observational evidence trumps logic any day.
My boyfriend is an atheist; I'm a liberal, free-thinking Christian. He knew this before he started dating me, and I knew he was an atheist before I started dating him.
Our beliefs have never once gotten in the way; rather, we have amazing debates about the afterlife, death, ghosts, and other supernatural events. He brings up flaws in the Christian faith and community, and I bring up how devoted he is to his atheistic lifestyle and, likewise, the positives and negatives of it. We both talk about how people view us after we proclaim our 'religion' (as he has been verbally attacked for being atheist), and the difference in viewpoints is what makes those talks of ours interesting.
Long story short, our religious differences and debates stimulate our minds and make us evaluate the type of people we truly are.
But we have never thought the other for being irrational or stupid for our personal beliefs. We both realise it's personal preference and it probably won't change---which, I wouldn't wanna change him. My guy is perfect, even atheistically so :)
My parents have different faiths, but make it work! I think, as long as you are respectful of each other, it can absolutely work to date someone with different beliefs. That said, there MUST be a plan for children that both parties are completely comfortable with!!
Can you really say an atheist partner is more qualified to be with you than a practicing religious man when the only thing you'd really share with the former is a voluntary exclusion from religious groups? That's rather silly logic on your part. You could be missing out on a lot of great guys who are devoted to many of the same causes as you are (or who knows, just really love the same kind of pie as you) all because you couldn't stand that they go to church/temple on Sundays.
Think this one over.
I am pretty pissed off at the OP because of this: "Ive met some amazing guys who have everything I want, EXCEPT I quickly learn they are religious." Wtf? You're attracted to them for a reason.
Yes, you are being critical and narrow-minded. YOU said yourself you think these people are absolutely amazing, minus the fact that they aren't 100% what you perceive to be rational. That, my dear, is perhaps the most irrational thing of all.
Yeah, I thought that was funny when she thought these guys were "everything I want", until she found out they had a religious belief, then suddenly and immediately, they were irrational types and unacceptable to date. And I kinda agree with her, though not her approach.
Same here. I can understand that it would be unlikely that an atheist is compatible with a religious guy, definitely. But like you said, the fact that she blatantly judges and has a complete change of heart after this ONE "flaw" about them is wrong.
Here's my belief: Live and let live. I always say if you want to believe that pink elephants fly across the sky at night while they look over you, more power to you. Who am I to say you are wrong or right? I believe whatever makes me feel better, sleep better, and deal with life (and the hereafter, if I so choose). The only thing I require of the people in my life is that you don't try to change me, and I won't try to change you. The fact of the matter is, no one knows for certain -- nor will we ever. So believe whatever you want to believe. And respect my right to do the same.
A lot of people on here are commenting on how "closed-minded" you are, OP . . . I would ignore those people if I were you. If this is something important to you, then don't give in; compromise is always nice, but sometimes it isn't possible. I mean, let's turn this around for a moment: let's say you were an Orthodox Jew and you felt it was necessary for your partner to hold those same views . . . people would say that you were being true to your heritage and following your beliefs, not that you were being stubborn/hypocritical/narrow-minded. (And let's face it, how can you date/marry someone if you think they're foolish because they believe nonsense? I would hate to end up stuck in a relationship like that, regardless of which side I was on.)
That being said, you'd have a better chance of finding someone whose views were more similar to your own if you looked outside of the U.S. Not only would you find MANY more atheists/agnostics, but also some of the Eastern religions/philosophies might be more in line with your own stance, and you could find a happy and acceptable medium without sacrificing your own beliefs.
Good luck to you!
I think people's offense isn't so much her desire to date a like-minded person, it's the insulting manner in which she describes people of other beliefs. Let's take your example:
I agree, if a Jewish person told me they wanted to date/marry someone who shared their beliefs, I would find no qualms with that. If they said that people of any other beliefs are irrational and called the things they believe in "immaginary things," I would be very put-off.
Exactly, Laurel. Here's a perfect example. I've lived in the middle east for the past 20 years, and one of the things I've learned is Muslim women are not permitted to marry non-Muslim men (Even Muslim men are limited to only Christian and Jewish women), in both Shia and all four Sunni schools.
In all of the time I lived in the Middle East, I seldom met a Muslim woman who was rude to me, impolite, or called me irrational for not being a Muslim. In fact, I have fond memories of the Middle East because of the kindness shown to me by Muslim women, even despite I was undateble to them, even when I was being an ass, which was quite often actually.
I supposed I could have converted, and it had been hinted by some Muslim women I should, nudge nudge, wink wink. That would be a perfectly legal move in virtually every country that uses Islamic law - even in Iran. But, it wouldn't have been a genuine conversion, and ultimately disrespectful to her and her faith. Don't hold any ill feelings that almost 600 million women are outside my dating zone, because most don't insult me for not sharing their faith. I suppose I'm not a total ass after all.
Um, Eastern "philosophies" (I presume you mean oriental), have supernatural elements in them, the very thing the OP calls everyone who believes in them irrational. Even Buddhism. Especially Islam, belief in one God is one of the 5 tenents. Further, a Muslim man is absolutely forbidden to marry an atheist woman, their marriage would not be legal in any Islamic society, which means if they went to his home country and got intimate, both would be guilty of adultery.
I would like to point out that just because you are religious does not mean you are not rational. I wouldn't call you close-minded; I'd call you ignorant.
Uhm, I would like to give a little love and understanding to the OP.
I know a lot of atheists, and there is that Angry Atheist phase they've all gone through. It's the same with new religious converts, too. You ROAR, you want people to know how you feel, and that you found your worldview. Mayhaps you want to make others happy too. You put every religion together and judge them, because it's easier than to find out what they're about and understanding they do things different.
But as you grow older, you grow wiser (hopefully?). You settle down, you realise it's not the most serious thing in the world. And most importantly, you realise roaring about your religion or lack of it is asking for a fight you're bound to lose.
Don't be so quick to bash people just because they believe in something else than you, OP. I date a guy who doesn't believe in anything supernatural, and who feels it's silly to let people know what you believe in. We had a couple of opinionated, loud conversations over the matter, as I'm something of a pagan. At first it was difficult for me too, to be with someone who didn't believe in the same things as I did. We've come to realise these matters are very personal, and they do not affect our daily life or love for each other in any way.
Oh, dear. I'm an atheist and I felt embarrassed by the OP's attitude. There are logical and illogical people in every community. There have been people who told me I'm incapable of truly loving because I haven't accepted God into my life and then there are atheists like you. I'm not going to reject either one of those groups just because I've had a few bad experiences. Even if you are gung-ho about science and logic, keep in mind that theories change. In other words even they should be open-minded.
I understand that you'd like to date a like-minded person, but the "more rational than thou" approach helps no one.
Sorry MM but I think you got this one wrong! I think she's completely right to want somebody with the same morals as her. How awkward will life together be when they have children and hubby wants to take them to church every week and she thinks those things are "imaginary." How uncomfortable will one of them feel at their wedding when the wedding is either in a church or is not. I think she could find somebody who maybe is spiritual/believes in a higher power but is not extra religious and does not practice it a lot. I agree with you AtheistGirl, you have every right to search for a rational man, whatever that means to you. It's better than being with somebody you are not on the same page with, just so you can be with someone.
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