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Mystery Man

 
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I am dreadful on top during sex, something to do with co-ordinating the rhythm of my hips with their thrusting, so i prefer to be submissive. Is this a problem for most guys? I worry that they think i'm lazy as opposed to cripplingly embarrassed of f- ups in the heat of the moment.

At Last! A gal who freely admits she is no Annie Oakley in the saddle, though one who likes making puns.

Most guys will be fine with it - a little disappointed, perhaps, at the lack of variety, but it is no dealbreaker. The problem is you will be a little disappointed too. You already are or you'd not have asked about it.

Sex is like everything else, the more you practice, the better you get. In your particular case, make a game of it.
Try a Dom Cowgirl at first - like a regular Cowgirl, except he is not allowed to move from the waist down at all and you control the pace completely. When he starts moving, and he most definitely will after a bit, roll over into your preferred position. You'll find you'll be matching rhythms for longer and longer before you need to roll over.

Stop worrying about it. Slip-outs happen all the time in the heat of the moment, they are no big deal.
Sex is meant to be fun for you both. Spending precious time worrying when you should be tuning your body to his is no way to run a rodeo.

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13 Comments

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MM is totally right. another thing that drives guys wild and is easy and looks sexy, is to tell him he's not allowed to move, lean forward a little and place your hands on either side of his head, and then use your abs and glutes to roll your pelvis in a circle.
I've gotten some wonderful reactions from this, and he can't really thrust back so it works for you. (its also a fun ab workout-beats crunches any day!)

Jlove

Girlfriend have you read my mind?! I know exactly what you're talking about and I agree with MM, practice, practice, practice. I am not super coordinated and being on top can be a bit awkward. But the one thing I've noticed that can make up for lack of skills is enthusiasm and confidence. If you get on top and are enjoying yourself, he will to. People don't talk about how sex can sometimes be awkward, and don't get me started on the muscle cramps. We've all tried positions or had the guy try a new position and have it not work. You laugh and then move on to something else

I blame Cosmo for making us all think we need to super talented vixens in bed. Sex is fun and about both people enjoying themselves. So try it and if it doesn't work you and your guy, both of you can move on to a new position. Just remember to have fun and laugh!

Lunita

Yay! I'm not the only one to get muscle cramps during sex. And sometimes, when getting into position, my leg bone will crack. We ignore it. I agree, not everyone is an acrobat in bed and you have to just enjoy yourself. Then hopefully, happy endings for both (or all)!

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I think sometimes the problem with cowgirl is not the girl but the guy. The guy also needs to learn to give up a little control and let the girl take the lead. He shouldn't be moving against your rhythm but working with it. As others have said, practice will help you and your partner get comfortable and learn each others moves.

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Have you tried it in a car? I find this position works best for me there...

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Mystery Man, THANK YOU SO MUCH for explaining that sometimes a man needs to "NOT" move and let you control the motion! I have gently said "just be still and see what happens!" However, when he begins to move and he will, I just smile and say be still for a second please, lol
Always a wonderful ending :o)))))))))

Mystery Man

It is actually a pretty hard thing to learn. Some guys never get it. Still, it is a LOT of fun trying!

Suzanne55

LOL, yes it is fun trying! How can you tell a man that if he would just be still and enjoy the view that amazing things can happen and happen and happen!

Lorelei

I asked this question a few weeks back, glad to see someone else's got answered because I was worried, too.

But I disagree, slip-outs are a HUGE deal if you're as clumsy as me. I must have hurt my ex's penis at least 3 times when I tried being on top and slipped off, so I always had to be under... I wasn't lazy, I just couldn't do it right. : (

Mystery Man

One word for you - SLOW.

You are having fun, not digging a ditch with a jackhammer.

Seagoatsarah

I was diagnosed with Arthritis a few years ago (at 26!) five years after my husband and I were married. He *loves* me to be on top, but I will be in excruciating pain for *days* afterword. He is sympathetic, but I know that it is his favorite position. I have the same problem with any extended position that requires pressure on my joints. Any suggestions, anyone?

Mystery Man

Sorry Sarah, only just saw your comment! Not hugely familiar with the problems arthritis causes for sex, but a quick google gave me this:

"# Using the furniture. If your main concern in having sex with arthritis is being able to hold yourself above your partner, experiment with having your partner sit on a counter or desk so you can enter her while standing in a straight, natural position."
(From http://www.mademan.com/mm/5-sex-positions-wont-aggravate-arthritis.html)

Know it is aimed at men, but the reverse should work too, and playing on the furniture adds a certain spice.

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Oh geez im so relieved im not the only chick that is having this rhythem problem on top.. i get so embarressed that i cant get him ff this way and i wind up usually quiting from discouragement. some of these answers are really good. i also have a question tho, when im on top, and hes not moving, how am i supposed to move my hips? like front to back or up and down? the up and down isnt really working and i just dont see how rocking back and forth would be pleasurable without the friction of in and out? i know im doing something wrong, he loves me to be on top but im so self concious about it.. any tips on this would be helpful as to how im supposed to move when he is and isnt moving. thanks!

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