You don't have to tell him, but you should. The two of you aren't married, so your finances aren't combined. If you were married, or if the two of you shared bank accounts, credit cards, or other investments, I'd say you'd have a responsibility to tell him.

It's your damn business. Absolutely. Just remember that secrets are tumors.

Anyway, welcome to 2010. The entire global economy is having financial troubles. You sound like you're a very proud, accomplished, and ambitious woman. I understand how embarrassing this must be for you. It sounds, however, that you are tackling this unfortunate event maturely. Bankruptcy doesn't carry the stigma it did, once upon a time. Sure, there are irresponsible people who declare it because they lost their shirts making foolhardy bets. But bankruptcy exists in order to give people second financial chances. Capitalism requires risk, and there can be no success without failure. Bankruptcy is a way to pick people up and put them back into a position to succeed again. It's not charity. It benefits society to encourage success.

It's really not a big deal. I mean, it sucks. It'll be with you for many years. But you're taking responsibility for your actions. Good for you. As for your boyfriend: he really doesn't have to know. Money is a private thing. People will confess the number of people they've boinked before admitting to their credit score number.

And study after study shows that money problems are as big a relationship problem as infidelity

He doesn't have to know. You should want him to know, though.

I know that 2009 was a really rough year for me. I was curb stomped by the economy. I lost a job I loved. For the first time in many years, I had to hustle to make a living. And there was a point where I just got sideswiped by circumstance. I had to borrow some money. I was dating a woman at the time who I slowly started to stop seeing frequently, because I couldn't afford to go out with her. I thought I was being fair. If Johnny has no money, Johnny doesn't have no fun.

I gave myself two options: do the power fade. Just stop calling, texting, or emailing her. Or tell her what was up with me. Tell her that I was in a tough spot, I was working hard, that I had opportunities coming up in a month or so. But that for the time being I was broke. My savings had been looted. That I didn't want to be "that guy." You know the type I'm talking about. I think the word is "musician."

I was embarrassed. Humiliated. But I decided to tell her the truth, and let her make up her own mind. She stuck by me, and gave me the benefit of the doubt. She bought me a beer here and there, and we would make dinner. I became really good at finding free concerts and gallery openings.

When we weren't together, I worked my glowing red ass off. Things got better.

You can't keep something this big from your boyfriend. You just can't make up his mind for you. Pack your pride away and have faith that he'll understand. I mean, tough times happen. If you're not mature enough to realize that a relationship is sometimes about supporting someone as they stumble, then you have no business in a relationship.

But I'll bet he understands. If not, eff him.