Tell him what? That you don't like his girlfriend, or that you don't think she belongs at family functions? Or both?
How about this: neither.
So you don't like his girlfriend. Does it matter? You aren't dating her, he is. If he likes her and she makes him happy, that should be enough for you. Have you dated guys he didn't like? Probably. Did you care whether or not he approved of them? Probably not. Family acceptance of a girlfriend or boyfriend is nice, but it's not mandatory. Family disapproval leads to resentment, battles and estrangement.
In other words, you will accomplish nothing by pressuring your brother about this woman. Absolutely nothing.
Who among us hasn't brought home a new love interest that made our families cringe? I know I have. Dating is a process, and we have to go through lots of different mates--some right, some wrong--before we figure out the perfect fit for us. Maybe you don't like your brother's girlfriend because you think she's all wrong for him. You care because you love him, and that's great. But you still have to let him figure it out on his own; it's part of the learning process. Chances are they'll break up soon enough, but if you make your disapproval of her obvious, he might keep dating her just to spite you. Also, he'll still resent you for butting into his love life long after the relationship is over.
As for family gatherings, is it really your say who is welcome or not welcome? I suppose it depends on who's hosting the get-together, but parents usually dictate these kinds of things. If the event is at your home, you are certainly within your rights to ask him not bring his girlfriend, but, again, that's a recipe for trouble. Tell him she can't come, and he'll likely stop coming, too. No one wants to tell a mate, "I have a family dinner Saturday but you aren't welcome."
My advice to you? Suck it up, zip your lip, and ride it out. The more you disapprove, the harder he'll dig in his heels. If she's no good, he'll figure it out. Let him.
Butt out, sister.
I agree with this answer, and I might add that perhaps she could give her brother's girlfriend a little more time and another chance. You might discover you like her too, if you be patient and try a little harder. It's never easy to meet the family of someone you are dating. Everyone is a little nervous and sometimes stressed on both sides. Sometimes it takes a little while to get to know someone in that situation. First impressions aren't always correct. For your brother's sake and for the sake of peace in the family, you might make a little extra effort to get to know her better.
Words my family lives by.... "I'll love him as long as you do"
I've known my sister in law since I was 7. My brother and her were best friends all through jr. high and highschool, started dating senior year of highschool, and got married senior year of college. And she is a VERY difficult to get along with. She's controlling, she's loud, she's crazy, she's moody, she's emotional. And her family is worse than her.
She drives me crazy, she drives my mom crazy, even my little sister shudders sometimes when she is around.
But my brother is really good for her and he loves her. And I remember when my mom told me once, 'he loves her, and we love him. So it's our job to suck it up and love her too."
What if they get married? Are you gonna just stop talking to him and inviting them over cause you don't like her? Life is about living with and dealing with people you won't always like. Get over it. If you love your brother then you're gonna love her too. Just try to stop judging her so much and see the good things in her.
Want a good way to start? Next time you meet her just smile and start asking her questions about herself. I'm sure you'll find SOMETHING to talk about. Get to know her. Chances are you know very little about her. She might surprise you.
"Life is about living with and dealing with people you won't always like."
Exactly. Great point.
Ummm ok, so if you had a bf and your brother did not like him, are you saying that it would not be acceptable for you to invite him to family gatherings just because your brother did not like him? If you love your brother, you would at least give this girl a chance instead of judging her before you really know her. I am quite certain that your brother does not require your approval before he decides who he should date. You really need to butt out and keep your brothers happiness in mind instead of your own.
i went through this not that long ago, but it was my brother and family that didnt like my fiance and made my life miserable for the whole time we were together. Going so far as to call the police when i was at his house (i had been using their car for almost 2yrs) saying that i stole their car. They bad mouthed me to everyone i knew and to friends i hadn't talked to in years. Needless to say eventually they made things so difficult i had to stop seeing him.
Now my brother is dating a girl i absolutly despise and causes nothing but trouble between us family members, she doesn't like us so he can't come around very often, only when she wants us to do things for her. i've tried to get along with her but she's very manipulative and plays games to try to turn us all against each other. she does everything that my brother said he hated about my fiance, but i'm expected to shut up and deal with it.
That's fine i can keep my mouth shut but don't expect me to have anything to do with her. I won't make his life miserable like he did mine but i'm not going to sit back and play nice either. My relationship with my brother will never be the same because of the way he treated me, i felt attacked and betrayed. My best advice - try to b nice, if she doesn't make any attempt to help out with the relationship, stop trying. Ignore unless spoken to and eventually she'll get the point without u being mean and try to be nicer or leave you alone too. your being polite and your brother can't say otherwise.