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I am starting to wonder if men really need and want love. They seem to be so reckless with woman and their relationships with them it's making me wonder. I would like some feedback about this.

Hey now, Grumpyheart Sadpants. First off, whoever he is, I know for a fact that I didn't vote for him. He doesn't represent all men. I do know this: life is about two things. Love and loss. We are put on this Earth to bravely search for love. It can be a discouraging search. A crooked path through swamp. Sometimes, all you get is a glimpse of it. Or it's cruelly snatched from your arms. Love doesn't always love you back.

And then, of course, even if you find it, eventually you'll lose it. We don't live forever.

It's precious. Without love, we're all just animals. Bored beasts eating and pooping and making other bored beasts, just because there's nothing else to do.

Everyone wants love, even if they don't understand it. Humans need love, even if, oftentimes, they decide not to search for it because it's a long, difficult slog. A life without love can seem terrifying. And we all do stupid things to stave off fear. Like avoiding love, or treating it cheaply. Or holding on to it so tightly, that love is strangled.

And I'll also add this: it's really dangerous to lump people in broad groups. Tribes. I could argue that women are reckless with their want for commitment and security. They'll settle for a relationship that simply supplies anxiety-reducing guarantees. I hear all the time from women that men only want sex, as if that's a drive that women don't have. Not all men are commitmentphobes, and not all women are commitmentphiles.

Don't give up. Hang in there.

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19 Comments

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That was lovely, thank you =)

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I can probably honestly say that of all the guys on this site, you've probably taught me the most about life. Cary makes me laugh, Nick gives me the warm fuzzies, Michael has a sarcasm that can't be beat, but you have the gift of being totally blunt and hopeful at the same time. You know the world's not perfect, but you take a flying leap at it anyway and package it with a bad-boy/sensitive artist flourish. No wonder you're beating off the ladies with a stick. *grin*

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"No wonder you're beating off the ladies with a stick."

Huh, and all this time I've been foolishly using a couple of fingers to exactly that. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

Gotta go find a stick...

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Don't you have one already? I thought all guys were born with a stick attached.

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i completely and utterly agree with the above comment/jude. without this site, i probably would have given up on all guys being absolutely morons who aren't worth my time. but with the great guys representing some of the more obvious types out there, i know not to stop searching. thank you!

Melissa

That was wonderful John. Nice job.

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Aw ... I like the advice... I think we get clouded by the idea that men are just ruled by their biological urge to spread seed....

I love it how a guy will tell you he just isn't ready for a commitment, but he'll turn around suddenly be in a committed relationship with someone else lol .

Its like you said, we all want love, it doesn't mean you'll get it...

iamonlymequilaquile101

im 21 and he is 28 this guy from my class tells me over and over that im beautiful, sweet, interesting and he wants to chill. he never does and then says sorry just to do it all over again. he talks to me over the phone and text but in person he just says hi and walks away... im lost? whats going on?

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im 21 and he is 28 this guy from my class tells me over and over that im beautiful, sweet, interesting and he wants to chill. he never does and then says sorry just to do it all over again. he talks to me over the phone and text but in person he just says hi and walks away... im lost? whats going on?

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im 21 and he is 28 this guy from my class tells me over and over that im beautiful, sweet, interesting and he wants to chill. he never does and then says sorry just to do it all over again. he talks to me over the phone and text but in person he just says hi and walks away... im lost? whats going on?

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You can't just lump all guys together and point the finger at them like they're all the same. Not *all* guys are like that. Maybe just the guys you're going after? If you don't want to date a guy who treats love callously, then don't. Try dating a higher caliber of men. Trust me, they're out there; you may have to look for them, but they're worth it. And so are you. Don't give up. (:

Dovey

It's all about finding the correct match for you. There can be lots of stones to pick through before you find a gem. Remember, one lady's stone could be another one's gem.

Some people are assholes, and others can seem like assholes because you aren't their gem. Keep looking, and don't give up. Love is worth the perilous journey, no matter what some people might think.

jels

First thanks for the laugh at Grumpyheart Sadpants
I've noticed guys tend to hang out with guys who are similar to them, So you may know a few guys who are "players" or whatever with one or two non-player friends. It happens, people with similar interests/lifestyles tend to group together. Not always but it happens. Like John said not all guys are the same, if they were the advice people give would be easier to follow. Knowing that there are guys out there that share interests and would be more your type should be motivation to find them... it's just not necessaily going to be easy, but learn along the way

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i'll give ya props on that also...
Now i know your the right man 4 my question! Thanks 4 that as i am just trying 2 understand why/what makes another(w/o sex discrimination, but i can "relate" to the female mind as i have 1! whats still there...lol).

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to finish
think....do.... what they do.

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What a lovely day for a 1122677! SCK was here

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What a lovely day for a 900018! SCK was here

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What a lovely day for a 1848825! SCK was here

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I have to say that for the last couple of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this blog. Keep up the good work.

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