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Mystery Man

 
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I am the voice of reason & calmness for my Navy son who is stationed in Japan during this horrific time. He calls me daily for support. It’s hard to get my arms around what my child is witnessing over there. What can I really say or do to reassure my son? I feel so helpless as a mom right now...

For a witty and compassionate regular, a quick extra answer.

As to getting your head round what happened and what he is experiencing - sorry, you can't. Imagination and empathy only go so far, and a disaster on this scale is (thankfully) so far outside of your experience that you simply cannot comprehend it. One of those times when "you had to be there" is true.

It is not an easy task for you. Your every instinct is to protect your child, yet you cannot. Nor should you. He is an adult, with adult responsibilities.

Just be yourself. The tough, competent, no nonsense version of Mom is what he needs right now. Your son is calling you daily to remind himself that somewhere there is a safe, sane and normal place that he calls home. A counterbalance to what he'll be experiencing during SAR (Search and Rescue).
Listen to him as he talks out the day, feed him news of the normal world if he wants to hear it, talk to him calmly and clearly. You can cry after the call ends. Make sure he knows you are proud of him - he knows already, but it is good to hear and reminds him why he does what he does.

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9 Comments

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oh my darling-my son is in the US MARINE CORPS---he from day one b 4 enlisting said mom u will never no anything---ur a nervous wreck--he's right--just mom to mom--ABSOLUTELY DO NOT CRY WHEN U SPEAK W/HIM----just let him no how proud u r of him and how much u love him and can't wait to see him---THATS IT!!! take it from one that knows------and PRAY!!!! also everytime u see one of our military men--THANK THEM--they r saving our behinds!!! i don't care where u r--i do that and i've been told--we don't hear that enough----so u can do ur part to---its tough darling---but i'll pray for him--in ur prayers please pray for mine--ooooorah

Selena

In addition to letting your son know you're proud of him, let him know there are millions of us who appreciate everything he does and will never take it for granted. Kudos to your son for being a selfless human being - and to you for being a great Mom.

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Thank you MM...

Tariana

Awesome answer, and awesome responses.

We are all praying for those who are now responding to the crisis, as well as the recovery of those who have been affected.

Mystery Man

Actually, going to add something here.

If you're in the USA, you can text "REDCROSS" to 90999 to donate $10 (added onto your phone bill). It takes less than 30 seconds.

If you're in Canada text 'REDCROSS' to 30333 and it will donate five dollars.

MSNBC has a good list of ways to help (11 so far and they are updating):
http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/03/11/6246445-japans-earthquake-how-to-help

All these have been checked out (by other people) and are not scams.

silkysly

My son’s ship, USS George Washington, is doing a blanket drive. You can find them on FaceBook.

silkysly

Thank you MM…., thank you everyone. I’m so trying to be strong for him. I told him to have faith & believe in me when I say he will make it through this. I share what the news is here. (everything is in Japanese over there) I was on the phone with him when another quake hit. Words can describe the fear in his voice as that was going on. I remained calm for him & we talked through it. (I cried later.) Today, he sounded MUCH better. His ship is the only ship still in port while all others have pulling away. I know & he knows that he there for a reason. In the meantime I pray a lot…., & breathe.

Mystery Man

You keep right on praying - it doesn't hurt and usually helps. I have said it before and will say it again - you are one amazing lady.

silkysly

Thank you so much…, I truly appreciate it.

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