I believe in pixies. The little pests frequently hide my tools when I am working. I can even strain myself and believe in an honest politician. But unconditional love does not exist, nor should it.
Use the romance addled mush between your ears and think about it for a second. Unconditional - you love him no matter what. Ain't gonna happen. Everyone has boundaries beyond which they can't go. It's part of being human. Way down deep we protect ourselves, even from ourselves.
I am not talking about abuse either. What if he cheats on you? Still going to love him and accept him then? Maybe he kills someone - is that totally fine with you? Maybe he'll turn into a cold and uncaring father. You pick him over your kids?
See the irony in your question now? You believe in it, yet you are already putting conditions on it to protect yourself.
Now I done shouting at you over semantics and muddy thinking though ....
Love just is. How you feel for him now is pretty much how you will feel after you get married, and for a lot of years thereafter. Yes, love grows, gets stronger and deeper over time, but it is a very slow thing. Loving means risking hurt because you trust the person.
He probably is worthy of your trust.
I also think that love doesn't just stop when a relationship ends.
My parents separated twenty years ago, and haven't gotten back together, yet I can see even today that they still love each other. Maybe not in the same way. But you can't just stop loving a person just because you got a divorce, or you broke up with them (unless of course you stopped loving them before - but that's pretty obvious)
MM...great answer. I agree that my feelings for someone whom I love *would* change (and have) with cheating, abuse or some other situation which monumentally erodes trust.
I typically think of "unconditional love" as the daily relationship/ feelings you have for someone you truly love, under normal circumstances (ah....a disclaimer!) that is, not emotionally or physically abandoning them when a problem arises and you are there for each other to work through it. Guess it's the "rainy day friend" type of thing.
You make me think...as always.
I remember learning the difference between conditional and unconditional love in regards to parenting. Parents who conditionally love their children are only proud/loving when the child does well in school or sports, where as parents who unconditionally love their child will be proud/loving all the time, even when the child fails. Using these definitions - and of course using common sense and not going to the extremes - I think it is good to have unconditional love for one's partner. In my mind, this means that when your partner forgets to take out the trash or comes home late - you are forgiving and still love the person. At the same time, if you also have unconditional love for yourself, you won't allow yourself to be abused or taken advantage of, so your love for your partner may fizzle out - but as long as it is still there, it is unconditional.
I remember learning what the word contradiction means. Here is an example: "so your love for your partner may fizzle out - but as long as it is still there, it is unconditional"
exactly, you say not going to extemes. True unconditional love would go to extremes such as loving someone when they committed a morder or walked out on you or something terrible like that.
I disagree, unconditional love can exist. I have unconditional love for my cars.
I have unconditional love for my cat!
Totally wrong on the answer in regards to ONE thing....unconditional love DOES exist. For your child(ren). No matter what your child does, says or thinks, a parent loves that child unconditionally. That's what parenthood is, loving this little being without conditions more than your own life.
Or at least that's what parenthood SHOULD be.