I don't know if you're a slut. I'm not even sure what that means. I never could figure out the line between being a slut and having a healthy sex life. If a line exists, it's a very fine one.
I'm more concerned with your emotional health. In one breath you say he'll never marry you, but in the next breath you say you love him and want to marry him. That makes me think your reasons for continuing to shag him are about more than good sex. Are you sleeping with him because you enjoy it, or do you think it will increase your chances of marrying him? If it's the latter, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. You can't sleep your way into someone's heart.
I'm curious why you are certain he will never marry you. Did he say he wouldn't? I agree with you that the odds are heavily against it, and I don't want to give you false hope, but people do marry in spite of their parents.
There's nothing wrong with having sex with someone you care about, but to me this feels like throwing fuel on a fire that's already raging. If I were as certain as you that there's no future between you and this guy, I would just cut ties and move on. Continuing to sleep with him doesn't make you a slut, but it makes you more vulnerable to future heartache.
Thanks for the question.
As someone who has had to choose between my love and my parents i can tell you there is no easy way here. In the end for me my ex and parents it destroyed our relationship. He became possessive and controlling almost like i was cheating on him, but with my family. I think you need to ask him, if it's something that can be mended with his family and also if marriage is something he wants. You need straight answers. Dont wait around though if he cant give u what u want. It will only end in disapointment. You cant change him. Love cannot always conquer all. Sometimes you love someone who isnt right for you.
I'm confused by the question. First she says she has broken up with him and then says she is still having sex with him. In my mind, if you break up with someone you don't see them anymore. If they are still having sex, they are obviously still spending time together, even if it is only a physical relationship.
She says he is her best friend and she wants to marry him which also implies to me that they are still spending time together. Just because his mom doesn't approve of her does not mean that he won't marry her. But if HE has told her that he won't marry her and that they have no future together, that is a different situation.
If he has said he won't marry her but still wants to have sex with her, it sounds to me like he is just using her as a booty call until he finds someone he does want to marry.
I agree that she is setting herself up for a big heartbreak if she continues with him knowing he isn't interested in a commitment even though she is.
Basically, I think she's asking if it is wrong for her to continue to have sex with him. That's a judgment call only she can make, I think, and I also think she already knows the answer to that question or she wouldn't be writing to Guyspeak about it.
I don't think it is wrong if that's what she wants to do, but I think she should examine her own motivation for doing so as you said, Cary. If having sex with him is making her think less of herself, then it probably is the wrong thing for her to be doing.