Ok, let's back up and take things piece by piece. You, right now, have enough evidence to know your boyfriend has a sexual attraction to children and at the very least jerks off to images of them - or thereabouts.
You also know you no longer want to be with him. (That makes sense.)
Here's what I don't get. Why is it incumbent on you to get out of your own leased apartment? Isn't it reasonable that he leave? After all he is the one that is breaking reasonable rules of a relationship. And to that point, although his sexual desires are highly dangerous, illegal and deeply upsetting, he is not imminently hazardous to you in the very immediate. Though I worry about those around him in the future (and I would urge you to urge him to get counseling) you don't have to throw his sh*t on the curb this very evening. You have the rest of your life to NOT be with him; giving him 30 days to get out seem OK.
Lastly, don't get caught up in a "he promises to not do it again, we are back together on a trial basis". He needs work. Let him work it out. Outside your relationship and outside your four walls. Get it?
Funny Guy
I did something bad in the past and looked at bf's computer. Found creepy porn with drawn anime children and real women dressed as kids. He said he would stop but he hasn't. I can't take it anymore. I want to break up but we live together. Only my name is on lease but I don't want him to be homeless. What do I do?
Follow me, Amit "Funny Guy" Wehle on Twitter @AmitWehle
I'm sorry but I wouldn't care if he had anywhere to go. He's sick and I'd want him as far away from me as possible and immediately!!!
Are we talking actual pho-kiddie porn or role play stuff? There is a big difference. One is about consenting adults playing with power and innocence and the other is sick.
Just saying, based on your question he's not actually looking at child pornography, just fantasy stuff. Right? Not saying that's not a red flag, but it's still legal and doesn't necessarily make him some crazy sicko. Just a little creepy. Of course, I don't know your boyfriend, but my fiance has looked at some weird (legal, of course) stuff and I don't really care because it's just fantasy and curiosity. I wouldn't really be concerned unless he started expressing these urges for real.
Not that it really sounds like you're doling out second chances, I just thought it sounded like you're jumping the gun quite a bit.
Kiddie porn, cartoon porn, adult role playing porn..., it doesn't matter! She said she was over it. Period!
I personally wouldn't give him 30 days to work on you. Tell him it's over, stand there with arms crossed & let him figure it out. He had his second chance & he blew. Let him live by the choices he made..., somewhere else.
*...he blew it.
That isn't child porn, and almost all hentai deals with Japanese women cartoon characters looking cute and young. Heck, most of the time the guys look cute and boyish as well. That's not illegal or sick, just a cultural trend for most modern Japanese art.
Also, SWIM engages in a BDSM relationship where-in the guy plays the Daddy and the lady is his "little girl". It's not to emulate incest or pedophilia, but it has to do with sexualization of perceived innocence, domination and child-like submission. You're basically a lolita; You dress up in girly little outfits with bows, wear your hair in pigtails or braids and act cute and babyish while your guy (usually an older man, but not always) takes care of you and treats you like he would treat a daughter, but with the added bit of romance and sex. It's called roleplay, and most roleplay ideas are taboo because it'd be extremely wrong to carry them out in a legitimate setting/situation (e.g. boss and secretary, nurse/doctor and patient, step-dad/step-mom and hot step-daughter/step-son, teacher and student, etc...) Everyone involved are consenting adults, no one with this fetish is attracted to little children. That's just gross. I mean, I get that it's off-beat, but so are most fetishes. If you're not into it, that's fine, but don't make accusations or judgments about it when you know nothing and are biased.
You should break up with him, odds are you'll never be able to satisfy his sexual urges (whether they be what SWIM is into or legitimate and accurately labeled pedophilia). Also, you most likely will not be able to kick him out either. If he's been living with you for more than 6 months and can prove he pays some of the rent/bills, you'll need to file paperwork with your city housing department to have him evicted.
Maybe I know a little too much about porn, but it sounds more like the style described is exactly what's been posted already. Sounds like hentai and some roleplay (even cosplay) to me. I'm actually really disappointed to see this question answered the way it was; there's no real evidence this guy is a "sicko" or is dangerous at all. Yes she should break up with him because she doesn't agree with his choices and they're something that's pretty important in a working relationship. But it doesn't need to be because she can't trust how he'll be with children. I don't know. Seemed like a pretty asinine answer to me, and I haven't really read one I couldn't at least respect before.
agree with FG and most of the commenters here. important to note here that sick is in the eye of the beholder, and nobody has the right to judge anybody for their opinion. if you don't think this is sick, that's your stuff but don't go all holier than thou on people that do. the MOST important thing with this is that the OP is deeply bothered by it, and that is enough to kick his ass to the curb. yes, he chose the behavior so he chooses the consequences, particularly after you've already addressed it with him and he doesn't respect you enough to do what you have asked. whatever happens to him after you take your trash to the curb is NOT. YOUR. PROBLEM.
A friend of mine was in a relationship with a guy who was into that stuff. It started off just watching role play and fantasy, but eventually escalated to him watching illegal child porn and having urges about children.There is a fine line between role play and sh*t you just do not mess around with. Children are in the latter category. As a mother, I cannot imagine how you could sexualize children and get off to it. If its innocents or power, there are other things in this world you could use for that.
This man is playing with a dangerous thing and it will not end well. Walk away and leave him to his downward spiral. If you are strong enough not to be manipulated, give him the thirty days. If not, put him out now.
I live in SF, there is a strong kink community out here. Many folks enjoy role play of all kinds and I have never heard of anyone going into some downward spiral of depravity.
Never have I heard of someone growing any interest in actually sexualizing children or an interest on child porn - which I would say is the same thing. That guy probably always had those weird desires from the get go.
There is actually a very clear line between fantasy play and sh*t that should never be messed with. A world of difference between consenting adults pretending to be something they are not and someone desiring a child.