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I don't find ANY guys really attractive. Not one in my whole group of friends would I want to have a meaningful relationship with. Too short, too skinny, awful shoes, smokes..I know exactly the type of guy I want and he's nowhere to be seen! I refuse to lower any standards, but I'm reaching for the unreachable, right?

No, I don't think you are reaching for the unreachable. There are plenty of vapid, superficial guys with cool shoes out there who are looking for a girl exactly like you. Keep searching, and whatever you do, don't lower your standards or look beyond appearances.

Oy vey.

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17 Comments

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Buuuuuuuuuuuurn

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Awful shoes? Hahaha! Wow.

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I'm all for not lowering standards, but I would hope that your standards extend beyond superficial things. Physical attraction is important, but you'll find that people often become more attractive the more you get to know them. What were once dealbreakers (too skinny, too short, etc) become obsolete because your guy is way amazing in an infinite amount of other ways.

Don't lower your standards, but try to expand them a little!!

Cary McNeal

Exactly. Nicely said.

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I often speculated that people with extremely high standards or are very picky over minor and reallly superficial traits (shoes, really?) are not meant to have lovers or romantic partners, and in fact are intended to be single forever. These traits, high standards or high pickiness, are their minds way of ensuring they stay single as nature meant them to be.

Teresa

Darwinian theory at its finest :)

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My BF is suuuuuper skinny, and once upon a time I always said I wouldn't date skinny guys. Well guess what? The fact that he treats me like a princess matters far more to me than the fact that he doesn't look the way I always pictured him to be. Good riddance woman - get over yourself.

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Haha two snaps and a twist

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Hey, don't worry about it, OP. I'm sure that being alone your entire life is not THAT terrible.

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What if there just isn't anyone you feel a connection/ spark with?

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Yeah, what if I'm just not attracted to anyone I know right now?

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Then you go out and meet new people... simple solution to a simple problem.

Cary McNeal

Precisely, Neil.

The part of this that troubled me was all the superficial criteria, not the lack of interest in her friends. Can you really know someone with a quick glance at their shoes?

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And, she felt removing any of the superficial criteria is "lowering her standards" lol.

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I mean...I'm not attracted to any of the guys in my group of friends either. That's why they're my *friends*. Maybe you, like me, just aren't the type to fall gradually for a friend. Go out and find someone that you feel immediately attracted to. I've never been "just friends" with a guy that I've dated. Just not how I roll. I've always envied girls who fall for their friens, though. Seems like it would be so much easier.

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OMG girl... I'm exactly in the same shoes with you. And the problem is that I was lucky enough to find this unbelievably gorgeous man. I mean he's BEAUTIFUL!! He's the best looking man I've ever met, seen in my whole life whether it's in real life, internet, magazines, newspapers, commercials, billboards, TVs, movies. He's tall, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect teeth, extremely handsome face, athletic, ripped body... OMG... but I was still messed up in the head n mind with my troubled past with my exes where my last ex before him cheated on me, alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, womanizer, liar, etc, etc. To make a long story short, I messed this guy up big time emotionally and mentally. I kept leaving him then I came back to him and my mistake was that he was so nice and patient and gentle and I thought he'd always be there for me no matter what and turned out that the last time I left him and when I tried to come back he already got someone new and it just broke my heart to pieces. To this day I'm still single because no matter where I look and no matter how hard I try, I can never find someone who's as attractive as him. I'd find someone who's just as nice as him but they are no where as attractive and gorgeous as the one who got away... Everyday I pray to God that he'd come back to me because he's all I ever wanted since the day I met him it was literally love at first sight. I don't even know and understand why the fuck did I keep dissapearing from him for when I always know that he's the one for me....

Lunita

I love this response!! Perfect.

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