I think a better question is are you ready to spend the rest of your life with somebody who might tend to attempt to make you feel inadequate when times get tough? Now, I'm in no position to tell you what to do, one way or another. But the most important part of any long-term relationship is being okay with the person that you're with.
In this instance, she's demonstrating that she has some immaturity issues but more than that, her attempt at motivation is by making you feel like less of a person. She wants you to know that you aren't pulling your weight and is doing it in a condescending manner. That's who she is. That's what you need to be prepared for in the future. I'm sure she's a lovely person, but you do need to be aware of that fact.
Is she ready to be married to you? I don't know. You should ask her. But you might also need to be prepared to hear a response of, "not unless you get off your arse and pull your weight around here." Granted, I'm getting a very limited view of things here (and your version of how it all happens) but given what I do have, a response like that would not surprise me.
Personally, I couldn't deal with somebody who was hell bent on being rude or disrespectful to me for any reason. I'm not built to deal with people like that on a long-term basis. Especially not from somebody who claims to love me and who also claims to want to spend the rest of their life with me.
Of course, the other side of this is if you are on deadbeat status right now and playing Madden all day instead of actively seeking employment or have basically just decided to happily do nothing on purpose. In which case, her method would fall on deaf ears anyway. And she should know that and make a decision for herself instead of trying to condescend you into doing something.
Point of it all is that you two need to have a convo where you figure out what the issue is and how big an impediment it is to your future nuptials. If you're doing the best you can to get a job, then she's not supportive. Be aware. If you aren't, then she's pissed at you and you're not inclined to care anyway...so she needs to be aware.
Maybe it's just me, but I feel like you should love the person you're going to marry unconditionally. If they lost all their hair and gained/lost fifty pounds would you still love them? If they lost their job *hinthint*?
My boyfriend was unemployed when I met him and remained that way until recently. He was going back to school for the second time and was primarily getting money from his family. It was he who put himself down for being unemployed and I told him countless times... that doesn't matter to me. As long as he's eating and sleeping and taking care of himself, I'm happy.
Marriage is a partnership. If one person doesn't work or can't, the other takes over that role not out of duty, but love and compassion.
I agree, she sounds immature. If she starts places exs over what's hers, she's still in a mindset that material things are more important than people. If I were you, I'd break up with her. There's being practical and there's being downright cold and you can guess which one I think your girlfriend is being.
It's time that you took a real hard look at your current relationship. This is one of the many possible situations that could happen in marriage, and if this is her behavior now it doesn't look too good. If the unemployment is recent then she's being unreasonable and acting like you're some lazy bum trying to get at her money. If you've been unemployed for a longer time, she's still not being fair to you. The job market is hard right now, and it might take you a while to find a job. She should be supportive and understanding of the situation.
Also a marriage is a partnership and it seems like she doesn't understand that if she keeps telling you the money is her money and now yours as well.
I think you should really dump her. I don't see how you can have a happy marriage with someone who's willing hold something like this over your head.
What does that have to do with be the man or woman. They should both be on each others side that's what a partnership is.
Not having a job is tough..and depressing! You need all the support you can get. With all the pressure and guilt you are putting on yourself already - you could really do without someone else bringing you down more. I was out for work for a little more than a month having moved to a new city - most depressing month of my life! I was constantly worried I was letting my BF down and worried that he thought I was a deadbeat - coming from a days work finding me always at home. I was worried that he might resent me a little - but he never showed it even if he might of thought of it!! Speak to her about it. I think it's pretty selfish and thoughtless if that's what she's doing. Maybe she is not even aware she is doing it and maybe part of it is you misunderstanding things by being bit more conscious of your situation you could be picking her up the wrong way because you ARE in a vulnerable place. You need someone that can support you even through your bad times.
Seems to be this women is NOT ready to be someone's wife. She is too selfish. Now if we lived in better economic times he would probably have a job. If the man is trying then she should work with him. From what I understand from the question is, he is not slacking off. He is wanting more than what he has now. He needs to really look at her true intentions and see if she loves him for the person he is or for what he offered her in the past. ~www.womenaregamechangers.com
Yes, times are beyond tough. It is really hard to find work for many right now. I was out of work for two years, freelancing, then taking a huge pay cut and switching gears just to have a paycheck. It is really depressing and stressful- I know all too well.
However, just be your fiancees' advocate for a second.....are you actively looking for a job? Are you pounding the pavement? Are you doing everything you can to find something, anything that helps pay the bills? Are you doing whatever you have to do to take care of each other? These are all the things she must be thinking about.
If not, I am sure she would feel some resentment right now. If she is bearing the weight of supporting your household right now, that's a lot of stress to deal with. It's not as simple as you feeling disrespected. She is probably panicking a little- not knowing how to help you, and wanting you to help yourself. Stress manifests in many ways.....try to see/feel her side too.