The crux of this issue is that you're subscribing to some nutty ideas.
Your boyfriend's expectations of you should really start and finish with your expectations of yourself. That is to say you needn't conform, twist and shave parts of your You-ness because your man wants you to behave a certain way. That is a basic principal of healthy relationships. You don't mold yourself to fit their ideal, you offer yourself and see if they can deal.
If you're a "humour /fun/ sexy/ mysterious" person, then that's who you should be within the relationship. Hanging up or storing away major aspects of your personality while in a relationship is bad news. It's what many would call "living a lie" but what I'll just call "a whole lot of bullshit with nuts."
Often this changing or shifting of our personalities within a relationship happens slowly; a gradual decay in which you stifle parts of your personality because you're fixated on wanting to be who your partner wants you to be. There's nothing sadder than a naturally lewd woman realizing she hasn't made a good queef joke for the better part of a year.
You're now in the state of realizing you've shed more of you than feels right. That's a good start. It's time to refuel on OY (Original You) and see if Mr. Boyfriend can swallow it. If not, there are plenty of "humour /fun/ sexy/ mysterious" persons out there.
The only successful relationships I've ever been in have been ones where I feel completely comfortable being myself (however many oddities I may have) because that's when I'm most fun to be with, and when I have the most fun being with someone. Definitely don't settle for being the blah version of yourself!
The good thing about this situation is the journey to rediscover that humorous/fun/sexy/mysterious side of you. Take this as an opportunity to do just that! And remember, you can always have your boyfriend in tow while you're at it so he would see that real side of you, and if he doesn't like it, you know what they always say; his lost, not yours. ;D
That's definitely a lesson learned from my past relationships, which ALL have been major. The one common thing is I've changed myself to fit their ideal when they should've been happy with who I was deep down.
I had the same problem with my most recent ex; it seemed like I could only be down around him. Whenever we hung out with my other friends, I'd light right up again, though. I finally figured out I was being abused. Sigh. I hope that's not what's happening to the asker of this question.
Ok, I do not understand how in the beginning of our relationship that I could hardly breathe around my then suiter. Also, now it is like I am totally quiet & serious with my guy. I try to be silly and he doesn't really play along with me. He says games are for kids. I think that is what spices up a relationship. Not the games, that hurt each other, but, the fun-loving kind & flirtatious games. also, we both are on limited budgets and it seems that all we ever do is go to my place and watch a movie and end up with silent sex. Maybe I am living in a dream world, but, it sure would be nice to know how to get my serious and always thinking guy to loosen up. i feel now like our relationship has a huge lull and very drab....no life in either of us. any ideas to revive this relationship or do you think it is time to move on...?
I hear you, I'm beginning to feel exactly the same.