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I got a text saying please stop texting me i need space right now. What the hell does that mean,im not that clingy annoying girl

Are you sure you're not that clingy, annoying girl? Read your question out loud to yourself. How about now? Lil' bit?

You might be that clingy, annoying girl if you don't think you're that clingy, annoying girl. This is a general rule of thumb. Clingy and annoying people are usually the last to know that they are, in fact, clingy and annoying.

He needs space. Give it to him. And don't make him pay a price for retreating to his space place to clear his head, toast some frozen waffles, and watch Deadliest Warrior on Spike. Who knows why he needs space, or what he's going to do in that space. He doesn't know either. But he needs it, and it's selfish not to give it to him.

Stop texting him. You're just pushing him away. Making this about you and your insecurities. It's not about you. I hate reading too much into your question, but I sense a little anger too. Impatience? Entitlement? Like you're pissed because he's not giving you what you want? Trust me, he's figuring out what he wants. Can't you hold on for a couple weeks, and let him come to you?

Don't be that clingy, annoying girl. Instead, be that confidant, awesome girl. The choice is yours.

PS. Harsh? Whateva. But I will add one thing: "I need space" does have a shelf-life. I'd say three weeks of "giving space" is the amount of time I would personally allow before quietly moving on.

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55 Comments

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Right on the money once again JDV..... wish I'd had this advice a year ago... I screwed up something that could have been wonderful. My bad, and he moved on and away from "the scary psycho chick".

Justice

Men sense desperation like dogs sense fear. Sometimes men just need their space, like JDV said. My boyfriend and I don't see each other all week because of our work schedules, and because we spend time with our friends. Come Friday, its like we haven't seen each other in months. I don't ever pick up the phone to dial him during the week because he always takes the initiative, and its only because he wants to. Put yourself first.. do your own thing, and he will come back. If he doesn't, oh well, save your time for someone who is as good to you as you deserve.

jude

It's true that clingy, needy people are the last to realize it. Not that it's a bad thing, but it's hard to have a healthy relationship when the other person is suffocating you. I went out with a guy once who literally could not understand why I didn't constantly fawn over him, stroke his ego, or tell him I loved him all the time. I'm not that kind of person, and it was draining.
Neither one is good or bad, but somewhere in between. I've always thought that needy people should be together, where they can give each other what the other needs. People with more independence find this behavior really annoying. Neither is good or bad; that's just the way some people are.
That said, if this doesn't apply to you, and your bf just pulled a Houdini, then give him all the space he wants. Let him contact you first. Either he is scared or he just wants to quietly break up.

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