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I had a hot sex-in-the-stairwell date set up with FWB during my lunch hour today. It was his idea, then he bailed because he was "tired". Really?

Seems pretty straightforward to me. The guy either didn't think you'd be game for it, or chickened out once he actually got in the stairwell and realized that people still use stairwells, like, throughout the day. That's still custom.

"Tired" is just the lamest excuse ever though, unless your date was on the thirtieth floor. Friends with benefits are supposed to be spontaneous and fun-loving, not give you the same excuse married couples use when they don't feel like faking a headache.

I recommend either dropping your current FWB for one with a tattoo, or turning into your legit boyfriend as a reward for his relationship-like behavior.

In either case, your next date needs to be a screening of A History of Violence. If that doesn't trigger a spontaneous stair-sex encounter, nothing short of a hypnotist will.

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