This is an easy one: Tell small-fry that you need to have a serious conversation with him. Sit him down and immediately begin to cry--you can fake it, just think of your first dead goldfish, or spot the dog who got hit by a car when you were 8 years old. When he asks what's wrong tell him that all of your life you have been afflicted with a condition related to Elephantitis named the hulking Vaginasaurus Rex. Then tell him it's really not him, it's the disease and that he, in fact, compared to most, has a rather large one. This will get him feeling better about himself (and his little friend) and feeling bad for you. A win-win.
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The word member just isn't used enough in everyday conversation.
wow, maybe you shoulda known about that size difference beforehand... lol
It's hard for most guys to get over this one. We are very competitive and that is the ultimate department in which we compete. Guys can't really do anything about what they're born with.
Basically, he is screwed for life now and will have to get over this one himself even though you seemingly brought it upon him. That's just the way life is.
Btw, how did he agree to a 3some with another guy? He must have been on crack that day. That, in my opinion, is a gangbang and not a threesome. For most guys, threesomes always include another girl - no exceptions!
Also, for most married couples (forget about bf-gf relationships) a threesome or the like will introduce a lot of problems with the relationship. One or both of the partners get insecure. These issues don't go away easily. They require counseling and more.
MM's advice is good. A lot of things can make the problem worse. For example, breaking up with him, going after (or even communicating) with the larger guy, bringing up penis size in any context whatsoever, etc.
Good luck! He is so screwed.
Maybe he agreed to it because he's bi or bi-curious? Maybe he agreed to make her happy? Why does anyone agree to a threesome? But I think you're wrong in generalizing that all men have assumptions about the sex of the third partner, and threesomes are threesomes, no matter what. You can't change the term just because there are two guys. If it's two girls, is it also a "gang-bang"? What's the difference? And don't say it's gender ratio, because that's just a double standard.
Anyway, to the asker: your man must have known that this was a possibility going in. If he agreed, then you didn't do anything wrong. This is his issue, not yours. But yes, you should probably be supportive in helping him sort through it.