pls get help...dnt ever blame yourself for him hiting you and he would not stop once he has started and he says sorry and you forgive him because he knows that if the does it again, you would forgive him again...good luck!

I am the founder and executive director of a nonprofit organization whose focus is to prevent teen dating violence. I formed the group in 2006 in memory of my daughter, an honors student who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
My daughter, Jennifer Crecente died the day after Valentine's Day, 2006.
She didn't die from a childhood disease and wasn't killed in a car accident.
She was murdered by a classmate.
Somebody that she'd grown to know, trust and eventually date. She was murdered by somebody that had problems, problems that at the invincible age of 18, Jennifer thought that she could overcome
The number for the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline is 1-866-331-9474.
My organization is Jennifer Ann's Group if you'd like to search for our site and see what we're trying to do - I won't link to it because my goal in writing this comment is not to increase traffic to my organization - I'm simply trying to help parents, teens, and educators understand teen dating violence in the hope that they won't lose their child to this serious issue.
Please go to: http://www.jenniferann.org/ you will learn more..and save your life.
Drew Crecente

i was myself in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, which is more common than you think it is, and even though i NEVER thought i would be on of "those girls" who stay in such relation, i stayed.

we broke up more than 6 times, and i kept taking him back coz i loved him, i convinced myself he will change, that i can change him, never happened.
i got my best friend involved, and i told her what is happening, she already knew, but no need to say that no one can help you if you didn't acknowledge the problem yourself.

I left him, and she provided the support needed to not go back to him when he begged me to, its been 2 years now, and i healed myself well and am happy with my life.

you cant change him, he needs to get professional help. you need to take care of urself now, not him.

YOU can do it too, just PLEASE get help; it will make a huge difference, just like CG said. we are all beside you.

Please love, listen to CG.

Love doesn’t hit you. Love doesn’t hit you a second time either. You know this or you wouldn’t have written to Nick. Good for you in taking the first step. Now take the second step & see a domestic abuse counselor.

You also know that you need to leave him. I’m sure you noticed, nobody said to stay with a guy who smacks you. There is a reason for that; he will not change. He didn’t change the first time he hit you…, did he? Please listen to everyone & leave him. Good luck...

I've been there, too. It's been nearly a year and not a moment passes where I don't think, "If only I'd left sooner." Get out. Get Help. It's going to be horrible, but it's for the best. He won't change.

My abusive asshat finally left the country for work, and we broke up. He still emailed me and skyped me all the time until I refused to talk to him. Even from hundreds of thousands of miles he could still scare the bejezzus out of me. Not good.

Therapy is a great place to start, and I recommend it. I found a lot of comfort in music, too.

Good Luck. You'll be just fine.

I was in an abusive marriage for 8 years. My ex-husband was emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive. Like you and so many others, I loved him and thought "this can't get worse...it can only improve". I was wrong. Eventually, the non-physical abuse wasn't enough, and he started throwing things at me. First it was little things, like his wedding ring. Then, he actually hit me with a remote control. That was when I knew it wasn't going to get any better, and honestly, I started wondering when he was going to snap and physically attack me. As soon as I made sure I could support myself, I asked him to move out and asked for a divorce.

You need to realize that, as much as you love him, the way he treats you isn't loving in return. Somewhere out there is a many who will treasure you and treat you with the respect and affection you deserve. I found that with the man I'm with now.

PLEASE, for your own safety, get out of this relationship.

I was in an abusive marriage for 8 years. My ex-husband was emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive. Like you and so many others, I loved him and thought "this can't get worse...it can only improve". I was wrong. Eventually, the non-physical abuse wasn't enough, and he started throwing things at me. First it was little things, like his wedding ring. Then, he actually hit me with a remote control he had thrown at me. That was when I knew it wasn't going to get any better, and honestly, I started wondering when he was going to snap and physically attack me with either his hands or a weapon. As soon as I made sure I could support myself, I asked him to move out and asked for a divorce.

You need to realize that, as much as you love him, the way he treats you isn't loving in return. Somewhere out there is a many who will treasure you and treat you with the respect and affection you deserve. I found that with the man I'm with now.

PLEASE, for your own safety, get out of this relationship.

What you're saying now is apparently what my aunt told my mother 17 years ago. Her abusive husband (who's always "working on changing" threatened her life last week with a gun to her face. Get out now, don't kid yourself. Someone who loves you would never EVER be violent. EVER.

Run. Run away. Fast.

Do it for your health, both mental and physical.

I'm a survivor of an abusive relationship. I didn't leave until he threatened my life. Now, I wish I had left earlier, and not listened to the "I can change, baby!" lies. Don't let it get that far. It will ruin your life.

That's all I can say on the matter, as it's the bottom line on abusive relationships. Your life will never be the same, and will cause many more problems in the end than is worth the 'love.'

Nick, your compassion always shines in answers to questions like this.

Asker, please please please get out now! He won't change. Even if you get him into counseling, there's still a huge chance that it won't work. That's how it happened for one of my friends in high school. She put up with the abuse for a year, then got the guy to go to therapy. He didn't do anything(that I know of) for a few weeks, but then he picked up right where he left off, but worse. By then, he was mad at her for bringing his problem to light and exposing him for what he was to their friends/families. It wasn't just the old triggers that set off the abuse, it was the constant and growing resentment.

Now, if you want to try therapy first and see how it goes, fine. But if things haven't COMPLETELY stopped within a few weeks, they probably never will. Best of luck.

I know it's painful but please, get away from that situation. There is nothing you could have done that justifies his abuse, no blame can be put on you. You deserve to feel safe and valued in your relationship and that is impossible if your boyfriend is hurting and physically degrading you. Please take care of yourself and find the courage to do this.

Please leave this abusive relationship. I used to counsel batters. Even with them getting help they often place blame elsewhere. Even with cognitive restructuring offered thru counsleing this is still a thought process and in many acases an impluse that they have to constantly be in tuen with. One split second, and they can hit again. The cycle of dv only gets worse with the violence escalating until you are not just bruised but scared or dead. They isolate their victims from family and friends making it very hard for you to get support. Please contact the polce and obtain an order of protection as I am unclear about your circumstances. But a batter makes it very difficult for their victim to leave the relationship. Often the violence escalates during the period of leaving. If you must, there are dv shelters that not just offer a place to live, but counseling. They also have programs for job skills and oftern fund you getting a place of your own when it is time for you to leave the shelter. If you should leave, they have a pattern of contacting family and friends to find you. They often say they will get help or change. Let's say he begins therapy and gets help. So you want to leive or be in a relationship that has this history? Do you want to be worried that if he should drink alcohol he will slip up and strike again? There are real men out there that will never disrespect, control or abuse your love. I know it is hard to leave someone you have a history with and think you love. There is a difference between what you WANT and what YOU Need. Please consider this and get with the agency above and formulate and exit plan. Domestic violence only gets worse over time. Please KNOW YOUR WORTH.

Do not stay with him. He will never change, and as harsh as it is, a guy like that doesnt respect you if he hits you and never will. I WAS you when i was in my early twenties. Leave him now.