He does need that, desperately, and he is very lucky you are there for him. You, well, you are doing good and supporting a friend, but it is going to cause you huge problems. Reason one for that is:
The guy is not your family.
It is hard enough if you need to care for a family member. Ask any single gal who is the primary carer for a parent or sibling, or any single Mom trying to get back into the dating scene. Guys are reluctant enough then, but generally get the idea that there is a blood tie involved that simply is to be dealt with.
If your friend was female, well, a lot of guys would accept the situation, without particularly liking it. But with him being male, you really have your work cut out for you.
Some guys will understand. Some won't understand but will accept it. Most will fight about it - or simply leave. A little like your gal friends, in other words.
Be honest about the whole situation early on in the dating round. Tell the truth - that you are this guy's shield and staff - without being apologetic. You have nothing to apologise for.
Good luck to you both.
No, not Solomen, but you seem to have a certain life experience which lends itself to the more nitty gritty aspect of life. Thank you for the answer.
I think what makes it all the more difficult to explain to another man, is that my friend is brilliant and handsome. There are often women hitting on him but then when they see a hint of whats underneath they get scared, and abandon him, it's not their fault, when some one wants to end an association with someone they should, it's their right, but it doesn't change that he's very vulnerable. He's so out of touch with reality that it can be very frightening at times. And it's worse when he doesn't want to take his meds. There was a time that he was attracted to me, but we became friends under circumstances that were not romantic in any way, and what I realized was that what he didn't need me to be his girl friend. It's not like love for a sick brother, or other family member, because unlike that, it was very much a choice. There was a point when I chose to commit myself to him. And i think that's what will make this hard for men to take, (and what you confirmed) because not only do I have no innate responcibility to him, but on the outside, or walking down the street no one would expect him to need the kind of help that he needs. Or the level of openess and intamacy that he needs, because I meant it when I said we have very clear boundries, but they're different boundries than you would expect from most of your friends.
You're right about the honesty, I suspect I'll just find alot more frogs alot sooner.
Again not different in a physical sense, I've never ever even kissed him, I feel like that would be taking advantage of him, and the trust he has in me, and we're much past where that would even be a possibility, it's just different in the level of personal involvment when some one really needs you more than what people are used to being needed.
You'll find a surprising number of princes too.
wow, that's some serious dedication. *applause*