Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Mystery Man

 
Next Answer »
userpic
userpic

I have a male co-worker. We're the same age, level and pay grade. He's extremely disrespectful to me, tells me my ideas are silly and makes fun of me in front of the junior staff. I found out I'm getting promoted at my next review - how can I handle this guy with grace? I really want to smack him instead.

Congratulations! Please, please, please tell me he is not getting promoted too!

There is the whole technique of making youself look good by making your competition look bad at play here, as well as some straight out misogyny.
It backfired, as it frequently does, because it assumes your superiors are morons. All he has done is shown them that you are the better person with the junior staff and his ridiculing of your ideas have shown how few ideas of his own he has in comparison.

The smacking is just too tempting and easy. A victory dance around his desk, shouting "In your face!" sounds about right to me. Or you could thank him for all his hard work in keeping your name and ideas in the spotlight, thus guaranteeing your promotion.

You had best have a private chat with him, where you stay totally calm and let him know that the disrespect bit stops right now. Then ignore him. Who knows, he might pave the way for your next promotion too!

Talk 6
Love it? Hate it? 8
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

6 Comments

Tariana

"Or you could thank him for all his hard work in keeping your name and ideas in the spotlight, thus guaranteeing your promotion." -> Brightness! :)

user-pic

do the victory dance .. do the victory dance :D ..
no really .. stay calm and stay in control .. the minute he drags you into his game, you will lose the strong position you are in now .. and by the way CONGRATULATIONS !!!

emtchick

Ever hear the saying, "Never argue with fools, because they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."? Doing a victory dance, or smacking him would be doing that. Besides, it's way more fun to play with new toys paid for by the promotion cash than to brag.

user-pic

Once he is your subordinate, offer a general "code of conduct" to your team, explaining what behaviors you expect, and what you do not tolerate.

Be assertive, but not arrogant. Be your already respected self and it will remind others how talented and proactive you are. A good team leader steers the ship and can handle anything. Anything he does will just reinforce his own idiocy. If he continues, go to your HR department and file a formal complaint.

user-pic

I'm the OP - thanks for the congrats everyone. And no, he's not getting a promotion, in fact, since my asking this question he's been put on a kind of probation since he royally screwed up a project. And then proceeded to throw me and the other girl that helped him with it under the bus when he got in trouble. My boss saw right through him, though. I work in a very small company - 10 full time people and no HR to help with these problems. At this point I guss I'll just ignore him and wait to see if he's even still around by the time my promotion kicks in within a month or two. If he is, my first order of business will be to take him into my (new) office and nicely tell him to get with the program. Thanks for answering my question!

Mystery Man

Nail his hide to the wall.

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 95 entries are tagged with
  2. 59 entries are tagged with
  3. 70 entries are tagged with
  4. 61 entries are tagged with
  5. 58 entries are tagged with
  6. 214 entries are tagged with
  7. 91 entries are tagged with
  8. 864 entries are tagged with
  9. 60 entries are tagged with
  10. 64 entries are tagged with
  11. 57 entries are tagged with
  12. 93 entries are tagged with
  13. 89 entries are tagged with
  14. 61 entries are tagged with
  15. 53 entries are tagged with
  16. 151 entries are tagged with
  17. 183 entries are tagged with
  18. 63 entries are tagged with
  19. 55 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 60 entries are tagged with
  22. 239 entries are tagged with
  23. 500 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 58 entries are tagged with