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I have a naturally big butt, and my boyfriend jokes that if it gets bigger he will break up with me. I've been objectified in the past, so should I be hurt by his comment or am I taking it too seriously?

If making fun of your ass is your boyfriend's idea of joking, his sense of humor leaves something to be desired. What's funny about putting down someone you claim to love?

Your guy has a lot to learn about women. Mature men know that making critical remarks about a woman's body is not a loving or wise thing to do. Even dumber is to do so in the form of a threat. Strike three is an attempt to defend your rude remarks with the lamest excuse ever invented for bad behavior, the ever-popular "I was joking."

I hate to say it, but I don't think your guy is joking. If he were, he wouldn't keep making passive-aggressive comments about the size of your rear end. If he only said it once, I might buy the possibility that he was kidding, but to "joke" repeatedly supports the notion that many a truth lies in jest.

So, yes, I think you have every right to be offended. I think you need to make it clear to your boyfriend--emphasis on boy--that making wisecracks about your body is unacceptable. If he really intends to dump you over it, tell him to go ahead and dump you now, because you have no interest in dating someone so shallow and passive-aggressive.

Good luck. Thanks for the question.

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11 Comments

user-pic

... Maybe I'm weird, but I joked like that with my ex all the time. usually mine is about my huge boobs and how I was gonna tip over, or similar things, and I joked about his age. we teased each other(well we still do) all in good fun.

Maybe he use to do that with an ex, and wasn't sure if it would fly with you. now he knows it doesn't.

Cary McNeal

Yes, but there is a difference between saying "I hope your giant boobs don't make you tip over" and "If your ass gets any bigger, I'm breaking up with you." One is a obviously a joke--no one tips over because of boobs--but the other is a believable threat. One could be taken as a compliment; the other is clearly a dig disguised as jest.

user-pic

Ugh! No one should be subjected to such rude behavior, esecially coming from someone who is supposed to love and care for you and have your best interest at heart.

user-pic

Wasn't it nice of Kim K to write in?
Curves are to be loved!

Cary McNeal

I agree. Curves are wonderful things.

user-pic

If he doesn't like it, find someone who does. And many, many do! Believe me!

Amy

"Naturally big butts" rule. Plenty of men I know agree!

DoctorM

All the comments so far make a lot of sense. Curves are part of what makes women so beautiful. I totally agree that jokes about each others appearance in the context of a loving, equal relationship can be fun and playful. It is the addition of the threat that makes this so different.
Can I ask how you react to these comments when he makes them? Perhaps if you are offhand or playful and aren't letting him know that these comments are unacceptable he isnt catching on! Definitely not a mistake a mature guy makes!
Good luck.

richgirlred

"It just looks big next to your tiny dick."

Just kidding.

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