"God, Betty. You're like a goat." One of the many memorable lines from Revenge Of The Nerds. Stan (the handsome king of the jocks) says this to his cheerleader girlfriend when she suggests they get busy. Stan, either by virtue of a lower libido or more likely in this case too strung out with nerd-rage to have sex, lashes out at Betty. This typifies our culture and its perception of sexual norms. A horny man is considered a stud, a horny woman is considered a feral animal.
The fact that your libidos aren't identical is not an issue, but the fact that he feels insecure about this and deflects his embarrassment by jabbing at you, is an issue. Your question seems to be more about how you deal with the sexual frustration than his comments. The former is the easy part: pleasure yourself when he's not up to it. The more complex part is creating an environment where he respects your libidic © differences, and you feel fine wacking-off beside him while he's reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Funny Guy
how long have you been together? there are some clear intimacy issues that go beyond the bedroom. He's pushing you away with comments like that, maybe communicating that to him would make him say....less douchey things. wow! worse than your cat. sometimes guys say stuff like that, like they are so familiar with you they talk to you the same way they talk to their buddies, having no clue how those comments come out to us. and it DOES sound like the comments are coming from some insecurity. but if he cares about you and knows that hurt your feelings chances are he might try to find a way to make amends. This one has a better chance of lasting if you guys talk about this, that is for sure. if it were me, and he continued showing little interest in at least how I was feeling about things, I would start reconsidering a lot of things. dr phil, albeit controversial, says that when sex is good in a relationship, it only takes up 10% of our "thoughts" but when it's bad, it takes up 90% and becomes a critical point in the relationship. Probably just some honest chatting can bring your % back in your favor.
WOW. Don't put up with that crap! Don't let him insult you like that! JEEZ! That's awful! Aaaagh. T_T
I think it's sexy when a horny woman acts like a feral animal in heat. But, hey, that's just me.
good answer from FG!
I agree with TheBMG; in my experience guys tend to think its hot when a girl is vocal about wantin' some. Sounds like the dude in the question is just embarassed and needs to learn to be mature about his embarrassment.
I am a 23 year old female with a very high libido, and I have yet to find a guy that wants it more or even at the same rate as me. According to all my female friends they basically have similar issues (they want it more than their man).
Is there something going on here? Where are all the horny men? I feel like society has talked men up to be ready all the time but apparently that is far from the truth. This is frustrating!!
My libid isn't that high, but doesn't mean that my husband will suffer the consequences of it. In exchange, he gets more oral sex, and he is happy.. ; )
"...while he's reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo."
Do all guys who like women's lit have low sex drives? This describes my exbf exactly.
I think these girls with high libidos should just go for younger men. From what I'm hearing, by age 26 men are over the hill down there. ;-/
It doesn't necessarily have to do with age. I'm 22 and most guys I've had to deal with (either personaly or through friends) are around the same age.
I was discussing this with a friend actually and totally agree with reader Anya's post. Me and my girl friends all feel the same way. It seems all guys do is talk and talk, but no action, and then WE come accross as sex monsters when really, it's not our fault. Not that it's their fault, but we could do without the insulting comments.
Haha, I'm a sex monster because I enjoy sex as a female!! You gotta love the double standards of society
I have to disagree. Most men I have met were hornier than I, and one even always wanted it no matter what the reason for us meeting up. If we were getting lunch, he was all dolled up and I could tell he wanted to. WTF. lol. Maybe you are all hanging with the wrong crowd of dudes.
Or maybe you're an idiot. I'm usually not wrong, just obnoxious.
Thanks for all the comments. We did honestly chat and he's been a lot more stressed from work than I realized and he didn't notice that our rate was going down...apparently he just really hasn't been feeling it and when I outright approached him about my wants, he tried to make jokes to lighten the mood because he could tell I was getting increasingly more frustrated and didn't know what to do. So we also had a chat about how to deal with me when I get frustrated, and not just about sex. It was a good discussion and he's made an honest effort to address my issues since, and says over and over "he wants me to be happy." Until his stresses at work start to clear up I'm just going to have to be a bit more patient...but seeing his effort to make me happy makes me more than happy to work with him on this.
"Is there something going on here? Where are all the horny men?"
I believe the issue comes down to this: For a long time women have said men wants nothing but sex. The long years of "men are all creeps and stare at our boobs" has lead to men calming these traits down, as they're obviously undesired by women. On the other hand, women have been hearing jokes and whining about always having a headache and not wanting sex at all, and have stepped up and are now ready - with society's acceptance - to have plenty of sex.
Plus everyone has a different sex drive. :)
Ok I'm a 24 year old male. Never met a girl that wants it as much as your talking about, nor a dude that doesn't want it as much as you saying. Sounds like y'all aren't on the same page right now. My wife and I used to have sex 3-4 time a week when dating, been married only a couple years and now it's down to 2-3 times a month. I'm going crazy and she seems to be obliviouse about it. We just had a long talk and I'm so frustrated I had to leave the room. Anyway. Hope you figure out yalls delimma. She's 23, I'm 24. I'm pretty sure 2-3 times a month is no where near normal (average) for our age.