First things first. Take a deep breath and relax. You have some serious recovering to do, and getting distressed won't help at all!
The resentment will pass, and be replaced with pride and joy, as it should be.
Fathers nearly always have some secret resentment for the baby. Your son not only "tried to kill you", but is a reminder that his wild times are past, and that he is totally responsible for a living being for a long time to come. That takes time to sink in, and, for some reason, it doesn't seem to hit guys until after birth. He is trying to adjust to that.
Add in his guilt - after all, you'd not have nearly died if he'd not got you pregnant - and his love and protective feelings for you and it all gets a bit much to cope with easily. Far easier to have someone else to blame, even if the someone else is a week old blob of flesh.
You will need to get him off the "you almost died" panicfest that he is on at the moment. If he mentions it, just calmly say "But I didn't. It was worth it." As long as you are calm and accepting, he'll slowly stop fussing about it. Like I said, 90% of this resentment is his own guilt. He needs to know you are not blaming him.
Get him feeding and holding the baby for you. Walking your son when he cries. Plenty of close physical contact. You have the perfect excuse at the moment to ask him to do that, so do it now.
I'd hold off on asking him to do the diaper changes though. Those things are pretty toxic for the first few weeks and are likely to increase his resentment, if anything. They certainly did for me and most of the guys I know.
And please. Stop worrying. This phase will pass.
Normal sarcastic service will be resumed tomorrow.
I nearly died in childbirth also - and MM is right: your husband is just freaked out right now about what happened. Nearly 5 years later and my husband still doesn't want to talk about it.... but our son is the joy of his life. Listen to the MM - let your husband know you don't blame him, that what happened makes your son that much more precious to you, and that you are so glad he (your husband) is there by your side. For my husband, it wasn't the guilt issue he was dealing with so much as it was fear. Honestly, it took me a long time to accept and make peace with what had gone down, and once I did then I was able to talk to the husband. Speak the truth in love. This can, and probably will, become a catalyst moment in your marriage for bringing the two of you closer.
Thanks for a real answer MM.
We have all been there. Admitting it can be a bit of a pain, sometimes!
Another amazing answer as usual, MM. As much as I love your blunt and sarcastic self, these are a nice change every once in a blue moon!
I agree on this too, this has to be a phase. If (and this is a way big out there "if") it isn't and your husband can't find it in himself to love your baby as he should--maybe it isn't meant to be? A man that can't love his own baby shouldn't be the man you want to spend your life with! But honestly, MM is totally right, as he said, he's been through this before himself!
What is up with men? Will they really just blame absolutely anything within a 5 foot radius rather than taking an ounce of responsibility for a single thing that they do?