Guyspeak Newsletter Signup

Chic Geek

 
Next Answer »
userpic
userpic

I have an older male prof who I consider a good friend. I am about to graduate. We even went out to lunch once, and he even helped me with a huge college project, which required us meeting alone on campus a lot. I have his number and want to talk to him/hang because I'm sick of the formal b/s emails. How do I go about this?

Wait until after graduation to do anything. For one thing, he might have a (smart) policy against dating students. Even if you aren't in his class, he could potentially lose his job depending on the university. Or he might just prefer to keep his personal and professional life separate. So give it until after you graduate to make the first move.

The fact that you guys are friends is a good start. Now you have a foundation to build on outside of the teacher/student thing. Once you've graduated, use the surefire "let's grab lunch/coffee/a drink and catch up" angle. "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while and would love to catch up and maybe get some advice about what I should do next. Or just grab coffee and catch up." Start with something casual and build from there. But definitely wait until you're no longer attending school. If he's interested, a few weeks or months isn't going to make much difference. Sure, he might start seeing someone (or be seeing someone now), but it's better to risk that than to initiate the hanging out outside of school thing while you're still a student and potentially make things awkward.

Plenty of teachers do hang out with their students while they're still enrolled, and maybe your teacher would be into seeing you outside of class now that you're about to graduate. But why complicate things with the whole "dating your professor" thing? Wait until you're in the real world-- say, a month or so after graduation--and then contact him as you would any guy you're interested in.
Talk 9
Love it? Hate it? 0
Got A Question? Ask Your Own. »

9 Comments

user-pic

Ive had previous male professors who has shown interest me in, but I turned them all down because I theyre all married. Is your prof married? You need to check or ask him, because its a no-no. Well, most likely he is. Do your homework, do a little background check etc. And just a side note, make sure youre the only person hes really into, it would be a bummer to find out youre not the only female student he may be spending time/getting to know...get what I mean. Lots of male professors have cute students, in different classes, through-out years. be skeptical!

But if hes single and interested, go ahead. Do what Nick say and wait after you graduate. Good luck.

Be the exception, not the rule.

imjustagirl

Just walk away...

silkysly

((good answer))

Madison

Be careful. One of my professors was married, but that didn't stop him! He was pretty flirtatious and even asked me if I had a car and if I lived in an apartment (as opposed to a dorm). Creep. I can't believe that happened.

user-pic

They can also be very manipulative. The worst one I had failed me, purposely because I turned him down. I agree with the second comment. Walking away is the best answer.

I once read a comment that made me sick to my stomach of a male prof at one of the best universities in the United States. He admits anonymously to sleeping with female students throughout the whole school for years, whom they agreed to, but he only goes with those not from his classes. He also knows several profs, also women, who do this as well.

I think as a prof once you go too far, you cant go back and thats what all these sick minded people did. Professionalism should be placed first. Its not about the age, its about keeping it professional.

user-pic

Thanks so much for the response Nick!! Really appreciate it. To the commentators/GeekChic: No he is not married, and I'm actually NOT interested in dating him. I would just really enjoy being close to him as a friend (I'm sure we both find each other attractive, but he's just a little too old for my taste), but feel weird with the whole student/professor etiquette and feel like we can't talk like normal friends, even though we know a lot about each other and we have great, life-changing conversations. I'll be excited to open up the window of conversation with him once graduation comes. I miss having him in my life.

Thanks again everybody! =)

Nick Nadel

In that case, I'd still wait until after graduation to spend time together outside of school. That way you spare him any gossip. If you're seen together outside of school while you're still a student, people may gossip. They may think you're dating or that he's cheating on his non-existent wife. Better to err on the side of caution and wait until after graduation. Makes his life easier.

user-pic

Haha I was waiting to see if you'd correct everyone who gave you dating advice--you said in your first sentence that you consider him a "good friend"!

user-pic

Hello, i think that i saw you visited my website thus i came to ¡§return the prefer¡¨.I'm attempting to to find issues to improve my web site!I suppose its good enough to make use of a few of your concepts!!

Leave a comment

(You may use HTML tags for style)

Get GuySpeak in your inbox.

Choose the newsletters you'd like to receive:

Trending Topics

  1. 95 entries are tagged with
  2. 59 entries are tagged with
  3. 70 entries are tagged with
  4. 61 entries are tagged with
  5. 58 entries are tagged with
  6. 214 entries are tagged with
  7. 91 entries are tagged with
  8. 864 entries are tagged with
  9. 60 entries are tagged with
  10. 64 entries are tagged with
  11. 57 entries are tagged with
  12. 93 entries are tagged with
  13. 89 entries are tagged with
  14. 61 entries are tagged with
  15. 53 entries are tagged with
  16. 151 entries are tagged with
  17. 183 entries are tagged with
  18. 63 entries are tagged with
  19. 55 entries are tagged with
  20. 79 entries are tagged with
  21. 60 entries are tagged with
  22. 239 entries are tagged with
  23. 500 entries are tagged with
  24. 95 entries are tagged with
  25. 58 entries are tagged with