Short answer - yes, you should be worried.
Long distance relationships are always tricky. But perhaps the trickiest part about it is that it's very hard to determine if there is a problem forming until it is too late. Even if you talk on the phone every day, it's not the same as being in the same room and seeing the look in your partner's eyes when they speak. A lot can change between once-a-month visits, and perhaps something already has.
In other words, in long distance relationships, you often don't know if something bad has happened until it is too late.
Your boyfriend is coming to your town to go to a wedding and he somehow can't find any time to see you. That's a major problem. He's been able to find the time to visit in the past, but he somehow couldn't find an extra day when he's already there? Ask him why. Let him know that you want to see him. Remind him that, in a long distance relationship, both people need to make time for each other. My guess is that when you have this conversation with him, he's going to admit that his feelings for you have changed. Or that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone who lives far away.
Either way, I think you're on the wrong side of his paradigm shift, and you're about to get some bad news.
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Why Did My Long Distance Relationship End
Every wedding I have been invited to as a guest, it has been a guest plus one understanding. Of course you RSVP'd if you intend to bring a plus one so the planners can prepare for the right number of guests, but invitees were permitted to bring a date.
If his friend's wedding stated otherwise, your BF could have explained it to you. If he's one of the planners and preparers, he could have told you too. Even with all that, he should still be able to find time to meet you, I'm assuming you would be more than accommodating for him.
So, short answer, yes, this is something to be alarmed about!
Yes, my biggest question is why didn't he ask her to be his date at the wedding?! That to me would be the biggest indicator he is done with the relationship. Its in your town and its a fun event with people that obviously mean a lot to him, and your not invited as his date? big red flag....prepare for a break up because if he cared about you and enjoyed your company he would have naturally wanted you there with him meeting his friends and family.
If he's someone's plus one, then of course he can't invite someone as well. Just because it's a friend of his doesn't mean he was a primary invitee. There are too many assumptions floating around here.
he is IN the wedding
Yep. He is moving on...girrrrrl...move on!
..., or his friends know he is seeing someone else.
This is the option I go for. I totally think this guy's already seeing someone else. Too bad.
Red alert! Dump him before he dumps you!
so, in reality, you've only seen this guy 5 times approximately. in many relationships that's not even enough relationship time to be wedding date material, particularly for a person in the bridal party who is going to have a LOT on his plate that day, the days preceding, and so on. i actually don't think you should be worried. playing the devil's advocate, it doesn't necessarily mean he's seeing someone else. i would say though, it could mean that you are more invested in this relationship than he is. have you actually had the exclusive talk? or are you calling him the boyfriend because you alone have decided that he is the only one you want to see and talk to? we women do that a lot. i personally don't think a big dumping is in order here...yet. but i do think a talk with him about where you two stand wouldn't hurt. honestly, at least he told you the game plan ahead of time. he could have completely just come to the city, done the wedding thing, not seen you at all, and you wouldn't be any the wiser. and if he was sneaking around on you, that's probably the route he would have taken over being honest from the get go. just don't go all hysterical crazy when you talk to him about it or you may well create your own breakup. when my sister got married over a year ago i did not invite the guy that i was dating and it had been more than 5 times that we had seen each other, and more than five months, and it was a long distance thing too. he was not prepared for the big family and friends meet at that point. and, for the record, we are still in each other's lives, sooo...i'm just saying. weddings are different animals all together, especially when they involve the closest people in your life. just don't jump to any conclusions until the writing is actually on the wall. if he has dropped communication all together, that to me is a much bigger red flag than not being invited to a wedding. good luck, and i'd be curious to hear how this pans out so keep us posted.