First of all, your husband is gay, or at least bi and looking for dudes. He may not want to admit it, but you've got a ton of evidence right there.
So, where to go from here? First of all, you need your husband to level with you: confront him, lay it out, and don't let him deny it. After all, you've got the evidence right in front of you.
From there, it's really up to him, although a marriage counselor may help. Maybe you guys can work through this, or maybe you won't. But denial is just going to make it worse.
Good luck.
The dating site thing is messed up, be it a hetero, gay or w/e site, that's NOT ok, really, really not ok... if he has wandered dating sites more than once and you want to work on it, first he has to stop with the sites (the porn doesn't make him go to those sites, to be clear) give him a bit to think sincerely on his sexual orientation, for both your piece of mind, and you might want to look at a counselor, the focus being less on the type of site and more on the infedelity/lying. If not for the site mentioned, I would have to chime in... Could be he's gay/bi, could be he enjoys it in the way I enjoy watching gay porn (both female and male) in that its fun to watch but I have little interest in partaking(or indeed do not have the -ahem- equipment to do so :P). He could be embarrassed about enjoying it and hiding it because its not 'normal' in our society, could be he's hiding it because he's torn... Sit him down pull up the sites, tell him "The porn isn't an issue, dear, its the lying and the chat site, it makes me concerned for x reason and y reason and b reason"
Remember, Calm and rational are your best friends. I hope things work out for you guys!
*peace of mind... dough -_-
is this like, two different people asking this question this week? that thought alone is disturbing. there are just some things you need a trained professional for. the truth is right in front of you sweetie. pretending it isn't is only going to make this molehill bigger. i know what she came her for though, the desperate hope that one of you would say, "no, no, that's cool. i got ton of gay pics on my computer too. when i'm bored i check out those gay chatting sites all the time. all married guys do that."
they don't. nobody's gonna say that. i do feel for ya tho.
Probably more than two and probably every week. Questions one guy answers sometimes seem to affect questions someone else answers. Or someone may target specific scenarios in their recent answers for some reason that is hidden to us.