That is a difficult situation. But it all comes down to whether or not YOU can handle another child. Forget the guy you cheated on your boyfriend with. Clearly he won't take responsibility for something he is an equal part of. You could take him to court for child support, but that's a whole different can of worms that you might not want to open.
If you want to keep the child, come clean with your boyfriend. Maybe he'll forgive you for the sake of the child. Otherwise, consider an abortion or adoption. The father should provide support if you need it. But since he's clearly bailed, you're going to need to be honest with your boyfriend or turn to your family for help. And remember this the next time you think about cheating or having unprotected sex. You have two children and a boyfriend at home. Focus on your kids-- if you feel compelled to cheat on your boyfriend, break up with him. Don't keep making bad choices and bring more unwanted children into the world.
More importantly, consider a condom in the future... jeeze.
You'd think one would would learn after their first abortion....
Ouch! We all make mistakes.
Yeah, you owe it to your BF to tell him about your pregnancy. And, you will have to accept he may not want to raise or support another man's kid. I wouldn't bother to mention about your indiscretion of last year, this situation will have plenty of drama.
I diverge from Nick in that I think you should push for child support from the father. Even though I'm a man, I never thought fathers should get a free pass of their responsibilities. And, it seems to me that if his family is the type to agree with getting a woman pregnant then abandoning her, I wouldn't give a damn what they would think about the baby. Too many douchebags knock up women and run, knowing they can count some decent man or public assistance to support his kid sometime down the road. He was a willing participant, why should he escape the consequences so easily?
I'd say, even if your BF forgives you, and is willing to support the baby, I would press for child support anyway, his familys' opinions be damned.
I agree. He messed up as well and needs to take responsibility. It's an option to pursue.
For the sake of your two children and your unborn child (should you choose to keep it) take the deadbeat dad to court to relieve a major financial burden that is undoubtedly about to hit you hard. And please stop making bad decisions in the future. You're making them not only for yourself but everyone around you including your poor kids.
As someone who fought a deadbeat dad for three years before finally seeing a dime of support, I need to offer one varying viewpoint. I desperately needed the money, and am glad I pursued as hard as I did. But it was a draining experience--if a guy doesn't want to pay, he won't, and the hoops you need to jump through with the courts and the department of revenue to establish and follow-through on enforcement takes a lot of time and energy. I obviously think all children deserve support from both their parents-NOT JUST FINANCIAL--but the bottom line is, now that I'm stable financially, and my son won't be going without if he should he stop paying again, I probably won't pursue it the way I did before. Even more than he deserves money from his dad, my son deserves a healthy, at-peace mom way more.
Forget condoms... try just NOT HAVING SEX. Clearly you are totally fertile! Quit having sex with men who aren't worth the effort. I'd get an abortion and just move on if I were you. Why bring more unwanted children into the world? Think about something other than getting your rocks off... like taking care of your kids.
If you can find affordable counseling I would suggest taking advantage of it to find out what is compelling you to make such destructive decisions. You may discover that there is a mental health condition such as borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder which needs treatment. Or it may simply be bad coping skills. Please try to get help for the sake of yourself and your family.
Get an abortion, no need to tell your current boyfriend about it BUT take a long, hard look at your current relationship and evaluate if it's something you want to keep at. If you do, then there's clearly issues you have to work with and so concentrate your efforts towards that and creating a loving, healthy environment for your 2 kids. And most importantly, LEARN from this experience!
No need tell her boyfriend? Wait a second. She cheated. Now she's pregnant. And there's no reason to tell her boyfriend? Really? I'm not entirely sure I see your logic. Finding out someone cheated hurts, but I'd still want to be told.
Also, get an IUD! Although STD's will still be an issue if you're sleeping around...
I'm sad for you....
There is a definite need to tell him what you've been up to. Assuming condoms werent used here, you both need to get tested for STDs.