Way to stumble on the contradictory nature of man.
It's actually a bit of both. Or more like this, a guy WON'T say anything that he thinks will preclude him from getting into your pants. So yes, everything he's saying is probably true to a degree. It's what he's NOT saying that's more vital and needn't be trusted. I know, its more confusing.
For instance, if you ask a guy if he has a girlfriend and he says "no" he's probably telling the truth. He's just forgetting to mention the woman he's been on-and-off again for four years that he can't quite shake and always goes home to. Not a girlfriend in "title" but a girlfriend in "stature" and "access".
This is why I tend to preach the asking of a lot of questions early on. Women get caught out there because they don't ask the right questions or just take a dude at face value as if there's nothing more to him. He's got a job. WHERE? He has his own place? WHERE? He's single? FOR HOW LONG? Ask the right questions and you can shed light on that face value thing that he's telling you to taste the secret.
"This is why I tend to preach the asking of a lot of questions early on....Ask the right questions and you can shed light on that face value thing that he's telling you to taste the secret."
THIS is what I want to know......we as women are told NOT to ask these questions~ you and Steve Harvey are the only two men who have said ASK. Haha!
Dear, sweet GBFF, what are some other good questions?
I do agree on the asking alot of questions part, but on the other hand, my concern is would the guy find this a little to annoying that you are trying to pry every little detail out of him? Where does one draw the line between not knowing enough and asking too many questions?
A little off topic, but kind of related to the whole "asking questions" bit: I think that is the problem I currently face with my bf. For some reason, I am afraid to ask him questions because he will think of me as nosy or somehow doesn't trust him. Sigh... now I know why people say relationships are so difficult.
As long as you don't come through as a gold digger (basically as long as you don't ask how much something we have cost, or how much we earn), we are more than happy if you ask us questions. The conversation is flowing, and we don't even have to do anything about that. Just remember to give the guy some break, and let him ask his questions too.
What Mike said is very true. Another thing to remember is asking questions about his job. This depends on the guys job obviously but as a Police Officer there is very little I can tell my fiance. She can't call me at work or get a hold of me on my cell phone as it is off while I am working. The only way she can talk to me is if I call her and the only reason I do that is to tell her I will be late or am held up, and then I usually can't tell her what it is that is holding me up. So in that part of my life there is little to no information given and if my fiance tries to get some info out of me it can be very aggravating. So just remember that certain parts of peoples' lives actually can't be talked about.
I think what they don’t say speaks volumes as well as their actions. I live by the saying…, When people show you who they are…, believe them!
some of you seem totally clueless, its not what you ask but how you ask it ....... asking in a fun flirty way always works best and the words i'm just curious works wonders......also pay close attention to anything a man tells you on your first few dates... during this time he'll be more apt to be open and honest with you because you don't have that emotional attatchment to him yet so hes not afraid of getting that psycho girlfriend reaction from you
For me the words "I am just curious" sounds like a resounding "I am unsure about the quality of your answer and possibly the honesty." especially if it is something that has been discussed before. Also, I am not a fan of the 'fun flirty' way of asking questions as it makes things seem like they don't really matter or that I am not being taken seriously. Unless, of course, the question is actually a fun flirty one, otherwise flirty questions just feel like manipulation to me and have the feeling of disrespect that my fiance can't approach me as a calm, confident, inquisitive women.
As for the first few dates thing. I was way more guarded in the first few months of my relationship than I am now. I have always thought that was the norm as you are trying to impress this person you barely know. If you start being completely honest about anything you are asked I can see that heading away from impressive.
All in all, for me personally, that approach would leave me sitting there thinking "Wow, that was more than a bit disrespectful. Does she think I am an idiot? I don't want to be pushed or manipulated and it offends me that she thinks she can do that.". Once again, just how I would feel about it.