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I just met this girl and we've been going out for a while, and I don't wanna push things too fast. How will I know if I can kiss her without getting her handprint all over my face?

Ah, the waiting game and the eventual, should I or shouldn't I mental quagmire.

Relationships are fun, no?

So you want to kiss the girl, but you're scared that maybe she doesn't want that and will be upset if you do. Let me just be straight here, bucko, if you two are continually going on dates and not "dates" then you probably had the greenlight a long time ago. But we must distinguish dates from "dates".

Now dates are the romantic things that guys go on with women they are interested in, well, romantically. It is understood by both parties that romance is the order of the day and typically, if the second date DOESN'T end in a kiss, it's a bad sign. "Dates" on the other hand are those outings for which one person has a romantic interest and the other person is pretty much just getting out of the house and enjoying your company. You could easily be a girlfriend, dog, martian, or post office - there really is no limit. Quite simply, a "date" is an outing between two nouns. And yes, Oklahoma and Hawaii can go on a date, thank you very much.

So if you two are going out and flirting happens (if neither of you is flirting, you're either the most boring couple in history or you're dating her and she's not dating you) and she allows it to continue or does cutesy things like plays with he hair or touches you (that's a big one - when women are interested in you, they touch you, playfully, a lot), then you have an all systems go because it's a date. The only time you really need to worry about the backhand is if it's quite clear that you two are not hitting it off and you decide to go in for the kill anyway, which I think in some states can be considered assault. But I'm no lawyer so don't quote me on that one.

So, if she's flirting, smiling a lot, touching you, and continues to want to go out with you, then I think you're in the clear bub. Have at it. It could be your last first kiss.

You know that's a huge thing if you think about it: your last first kiss. And that could be you pal. Except you have to actually give it a go. And women get as frustrated as we do about these things. She may be waiting on you as well and if you take too long she might think something's wrong with you.

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6 Comments

meiggs

If I like the guy, I'll purposefully hesitate at the end of the date, draw things out a bit, to give him the hint (just in case he's not already sure). If I'm falling over myself to get out of the car to my apartment, you should maybe let me go, unmolested.
Also, NEVER ask. NEVER. If any part of me is interested, I'm sincerely less interested when asked, "Hey, can I kiss you?". If you have to ask, the answer I'm thinking is usually "No." Maybe I'm alone here but I appreciate a guy's self confidence and boldness. Go for it or don't, just don't ask.

user-pic

Let me ask you then...having done this myself, how would you feel if the guy simple made a statement, such as, "I'd really like to kiss you right now". It worked like charm for me, and netted me two years of a wasted relatio--...maybe I shouldn't do that?

meiggs

Maybe I should say that there are particular things I don't like verbalized. There is a certain amount of excitement and mystery to the first kiss and having the guy ask or state it isn't terrible or a dealbreaker, it just deflates all the excitement I had in my head to the tune of the debbie downer horn. The thrill of the first kiss is not knowing. Take that away and you just have a slightly awkward kiss.

Little Lady

I don't like to be asked either. Just do it. The come here and kiss my eyes usually are a clear indication that I want to be made out with.

Lynn

That's a good answer, but I'm a bit different: I'm really shy around guys I have feelings for and tend to play around more (i.e. having kicking wars under the desk in class while watching the movie the tacher put in to occupy us for the period, playfully shoving them, ect.) with guys I view as friends. This may have something to do with my older, male, sister-less cousins treting me as basically "one of the boys."

I treat my female friends the same way, but come to think of it this may explain the tangled "equation of who in this group of friends is going out with whom, & who else in this group are they cheating with?" Yes, people in my school are apparently so bored that they have nothing better to do with their time. I'm waiting for them to give up and say, "Y'know, this is getting WAY too confusing, and I have a simple solution: They're all having orgies!" We're also secretly making bets on how the newest addition to our screwed-up little family is going to fit into the mix. Poor guy has NO idea...

user-pic

Here i am posting a coment almost 3 years later, i hope everything is going dokay! Anyway im one of the most shy guys you will ever meet. I only date long distance cause to me it makes me feel that much better when the moment happens when u meet and im only 16 and trust me i have yet to hit that 56 year old man from dateline hahaha. Anyway i just started dating another girl long distance and i dont know this one feels like its supposed to happen i really like her and im seeing her at the end of may and i just want to know what i should do when i see her. She wants to cuddle and kiss and snuggle so of course ill do that because i love to do that to. Can anyone give me ideas on what to tell her and what to do?

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