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I just started dating this guy and we're very physically attracted to each other that we ended up having sex on our first date. Now he wants to step back to "take it slow", wait on the sex to see if we can develop our relationship into something more--see where it goes. Is there a catch?!

There is something to be said about making sure you've got some solid bread before slathering on the sex-onnaise. This guy might be legit and wanting to make sure your foundation is in place. Is it suspect? That proof will be in his putting in the time and actually developing your relationship. Walks, dinners, phone calls, emails, museum nights and Socratic debate over a shared  bowl of calamari. If things like this don't happen, and in its place are tumble weeds and crickets, then he was lying.

Unfortunately, sometimes, man has sex, doesn't like the sex or the person and rather than having the balls to respectfully end it, he creates stories and fictitious plans. I hope that's not the case if you dig this dude. Take it slow, (as he suggests). See if he's peddling towards you or back - and respond accordingly.

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11 Comments

silkysly

Time will tell...

Mary

oooh time. -__-

nikitamaagel

I would have been more worried if the guy only wanted you for sex from that point on. See if he calls, but at least he doesn't seem to see you as a mere booty call just because you had sex rapidly, which is good news if you like him.

user-pic

OUCH. Never sleep with a guy right away. Reel him in slowly, make him WORK FOR IT, women who do....their men stay. Most dont cheat also, if he put up a fight to make her fall for him.

When you give a guy the easy way in....then girl, he will be lazy. MAKE HIM WORK FOR IT! Even if deeeep down, you want him also...dont do it. PLay hard to get...until, hes proven to you that youre all he wants and when I say play hard I dont mean being mean, I mean be a little distant, cautious of him, and give him mix messages. I love it when guys dont know if I like them or not. It totally bums them out lol.

user-pic

Or you could not play stupid games with others' feelings.

nikitamaagel

Totally agree. There's a difference between taking your time and being a tease.

Lunita

I agree as well. Playing games and pretending you don't like someone when you do just seems juvenile to me. What if you try that with a good guy/girl and then they stop calling because they think you're not interested? You're the one who loses out. Besides, if there's chemistry between two people and neither is a "player" then things can work out regardless of whether or not sex happened early on in the relationship. I didn't sleep with my boyfriend right away, but the night we met ended in some hanky panky in my bed. Our first date was admittedly a little awkard (we've seen each naked: do I kiss you goodbye, hug you, or what?) but everything worked out in the end.
:)

user-pic

What a terrible way to start a relationship. :/

user-pic

Wow, what's wrong with you?

Mary

games are for the birds...i am too busy in life for that crap.

user-pic

i think he just wanted to have sex and now that its not what he expected he wants out. he jst dsnt hv the balls to say it!

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