Well, having sat through that movie with my girlfriend, I have to first say that while Ginnifer Goodwin is adorable, her character is crazy and basically acts like a five-year-old for much of the movie. She’s awesome on Big Love, but her character in HJNTITU (that’s a lot of letters) made he want to reach into the TV and shake some sense into her. Was she supposed to be a relatable modern woman? She just seemed dim-witted. Were I a single woman, I would be offended that Hollywood thinks of me as a dithering fool who would call a guy who never calls me back fifteen times a day and show up at his place of work after one date like some sort of sad little puppy.
It’s interesting that He’s Just Not That Into You strikes you as a female take on the male point-of-view, considering that the concept was cooked up by a man and a woman. Liz Tuccillo and comedian Greg Behrendt (who looks like Dane Cook’s older, more soul-patched brother and who, as Devore pointed out, needs to be punched in his general junk region immediately) wrote the Sex and the City episode where the phrase first originated and then penned the self-help book which inspired the movie where Bradley Cooper has to choose between super hot Scarlett Johansson or his super hot wife Jennifer Connelly because that happens every day. (I’m not sure I could do it. That’s like Sophie’s Choice.)
The marketing genius of “He’s Just That Into You” is that Behrendt and Tucillo were able to turn the concept of “actions speak louder than words” into a book, a movie, and an episode of a hit TV series. Because that’s really all “He’s Just Not That Into You” is saying– his actions count. This is something we talk about a lot here on GuySpeak. Guys are transparent– if he’s not making the effort to call or make plans with you, chances are dating you isn’t all that important to him.
But I don’t think it’s a hard and fast rule. If, for instance, he doesn’t call back/text/email a day or two after your awesome date, that doesn’t automatically mean he’s done with you. He could be busy or keeping the mystery up by playing hard to get. Or maybe he’s just a bit clueless when it comes to dating. If you haven’t heard from him after a week, then perhaps he’s “just not that enthused about you.” (I’m writing my own book! That’ll show ‘em.)
If the whole “He’s Just Not That Into You” thing makes you a little less neurotic about why he isn’t calling back, then great. But, really, I think you know deep down when someone isn’t into you, and you don’t need some soul patch-wearing cretin to tell you via a cheesy book or talk show. Trust your instincts: if he seems like he’s lost interest, then he probably has, in fact, lost interest.