Well, having sat through that movie with my girlfriend, I have to first say that while Ginnifer Goodwin is adorable, her character is crazy and basically acts like a five-year-old for much of the movie. She's awesome on Big Love, but her character in HJNTITU (that's a lot of letters) made he want to reach into the TV and shake some sense into her. Was she supposed to be a relatable modern woman? She just seemed dim-witted. Were I a single woman, I would be offended that Hollywood thinks of me as a dithering fool who would call a guy who never calls me back fifteen times a day and show up at his place of work after one date like some sort of sad little puppy.
It's interesting that He's Just Not That Into You strikes you as a female take on the male point-of-view, considering that the concept was cooked up by a man and a woman. Liz Tuccillo and comedian Greg Behrendt (who looks like Dane Cook's older, more soul-patched brother and who, as Devore pointed out, needs to be punched in his general junk region immediately) wrote the Sex and the City episode where the phrase first originated and then penned the self-help book which inspired the movie where Bradley Cooper has to choose between super hot Scarlett Johansson or his super hot wife Jennifer Connelly because that happens every day. (I'm not sure I could do it. That's like Sophie's Choice.)
The marketing genius of "He's Just That Into You" is that Behrendt and Tucillo were able to turn the concept of "actions speak louder than words" into a book, a movie, and an episode of a hit TV series. Because that's really all "He's Just Not That Into You" is saying-- his actions count. This is something we talk about a lot here on GuySpeak. Guys are transparent-- if he's not making the effort to call or make plans with you, chances are dating you isn't all that important to him.
But I don't think it's a hard and fast rule. If, for instance, he doesn't call back/text/email a day or two after your awesome date, that doesn't automatically mean he's done with you. He could be busy or keeping the mystery up by playing hard to get. Or maybe he's just a bit clueless when it comes to dating. If you haven't heard from him after a week, then perhaps he's "just not that enthused about you." (I'm writing my own book! That'll show 'em.)
If the whole "He's Just Not That Into You" thing makes you a little less neurotic about why he isn't calling back, then great. But, really, I think you know deep down when someone isn't into you, and you don't need some soul patch-wearing cretin to tell you via a cheesy book or talk show. Trust your instincts: if he seems like he's lost interest, then he probably has, in fact, lost interest.
It's interesting that He's Just Not That Into You strikes you as a female take on the male point-of-view, considering that the concept was cooked up by a man and a woman. Liz Tuccillo and comedian Greg Behrendt (who looks like Dane Cook's older, more soul-patched brother and who, as Devore pointed out, needs to be punched in his general junk region immediately) wrote the Sex and the City episode where the phrase first originated and then penned the self-help book which inspired the movie where Bradley Cooper has to choose between super hot Scarlett Johansson or his super hot wife Jennifer Connelly because that happens every day. (I'm not sure I could do it. That's like Sophie's Choice.)
The marketing genius of "He's Just That Into You" is that Behrendt and Tucillo were able to turn the concept of "actions speak louder than words" into a book, a movie, and an episode of a hit TV series. Because that's really all "He's Just Not That Into You" is saying-- his actions count. This is something we talk about a lot here on GuySpeak. Guys are transparent-- if he's not making the effort to call or make plans with you, chances are dating you isn't all that important to him.
But I don't think it's a hard and fast rule. If, for instance, he doesn't call back/text/email a day or two after your awesome date, that doesn't automatically mean he's done with you. He could be busy or keeping the mystery up by playing hard to get. Or maybe he's just a bit clueless when it comes to dating. If you haven't heard from him after a week, then perhaps he's "just not that enthused about you." (I'm writing my own book! That'll show 'em.)
If the whole "He's Just Not That Into You" thing makes you a little less neurotic about why he isn't calling back, then great. But, really, I think you know deep down when someone isn't into you, and you don't need some soul patch-wearing cretin to tell you via a cheesy book or talk show. Trust your instincts: if he seems like he's lost interest, then he probably has, in fact, lost interest.
It's hard not to make up excuses for why it seems that HJNTITU. Especially if you're in high school. Especially if you have Taylor Swift-esque expectations.
I think we've all been there...maybe not the crazy stalking thing but kinda moping around wondering why the guy doesn't get off his keester and call. Then when you discuss it with your girls, they tell you not to get all discouraged b/c your friend's boyfriend's cousin's niece or some shit had that very thing happen to them and now they're happily married. Barf.
That's the exception, not the rule.
im 21 and he is 28 this guy from my class tells me over and over that im beautiful, sweet, interesting and he wants to chill. he never does and then says sorry just to do it all over again. he talks to me over the phone and text but in person he just says hi and walks away... im lost? whats going on?
Meh. I'm only 21 and haven't dated a ton, but I feel like one thing I've learned is that if he's not breaking down your door trying to get to you, 999 out of every 1,000 times, he isn't interested.
And if he's not exactly "breaking down your door", he will somehow otherwise make his interest obvious.
The playing-hard-to-get-and-I-will-only-text-you-if-you-text-me-first-etc. mind games are definitely more of a female thing. I've never seen a (straight) guy "play coy" to try to attract any woman's interest.
Who knows....maybe someone more "experienced" in this area will disagree.
yea i agree i don't like the run around ... it's pt. less i mean come on, u'd think at 28 he'd stop the games but then again ... who knows :/
it's so weird,
i agree i don't like the playing hard to get and texting and so on its silly
idk about the breaking down of the door thing though... i was thinking maybe he is shy but idk
i honestly never met a guy like this and i've never like ever! thought at 28 a guy would act like this but who knows ??
i've tried asking one of the more "experienced" people but for whatever reason my question never got answered lol
It is possible that this guy has trouble with face-to-face communication and he becomes very timid around you; some guys' brains turn to mush when they are around someone they like, and they wouldn't be able to use player tactics on you. While his brain may be turning to mush and he can hardly keep a conversation going, his player tactics are still in full swing.
Maybe this guy actually likes you and is trying to play it cool when he is around you. Honestly, though, I do not believe he is interested in you. Maybe this guy is doing the same thing with at least one other woman in your class (this is where I would place my money), and that would explain why he keeps conversation with you to a minimum. Maybe this guy is hot stuff and he knows it; you haven't said much on that area.
My assumption is that he is merely stringing you along and has no intention of carrying through with any form of a relationship, only a hookup if you allow it. The compliments and sweet-talk should be taken with a grain of salt. He is most likely honing his flirting skills and is using you as a generally easy target because I would bet he has known for a while that you are interested.
Don't take this guy's actions personally. You are probably a great person and the compliments he gives you are likely true. As a guy who has done the same thing he is doing to you, there is not much you can do to help the situation other than forcing him into action. Make a move with another guy, let him know that you have other options. If he is interested, he'll do something about it to keep you from being with the other guy. If he's not interested, he'll move on.
I think it's funny that some guys say they want the girl to call and others don't - knowing what type of guy you're dealing with is the tricky part. every action you take can be perceived multiple ways so being straight is usually the best, if he doesn't call after a few days - call him if he is interested the contact will help you determine that - if you don't hear back from him again move on - if he had a legit reason for being mia you'll judge whether or not he's worth believing. Whether you're right or not may not be fair, but that's life we make decisions we deal with the consequneces. But anyone would feel that much obsessiveness is obviously bad - it's just hard for those types to see what they are doing. We all need friends to tell us once is enough!
thankx dbales!! i totally used what u said and ur right, he is good looking tall and has a good body b/c her was in the army... but i agree i think he was just pulling me along
but im over it and i have moved on. there a lot of good looking people but that doesn't mean that there worth my time, honestly, im more into minds and considering that there is not enough on his side i mean convo. then i just became bored and moved on, :)
thankx for the help guys
u are all awesome lol
guys dont have to initiate the convos all the time! Whats wrong with waiting for the girl, as a guy i think its nice when you get a text first. I'll give her some space and not feel like i'm the only one thats interested
What a lovely day for a 1817572! SCK was here