I knew my friend is a jerk, but I didn't know to what extent. I got angry when he didn't follow thru on a favor and he just snapped, used bad language, and told me if I didn't apologize, we wouldn't speak anymore. I'm not a proud person but I think what he did was wrong and shouldn't take it. Yet I really miss him.
Dan Seitz answered Fox's question on
November 29, 2011 7:00 AM
You miss him? Why?
If he got angry at you because you were upset with him for screwing up, this isn't a person you need in your life, that simple. When he realizes what a jerk he's been and comes back to apologize, then you should talk to him. Until then, find friends who aren't going to be total jerks to you when they make a mistake.
To the poster - if you were to ask him, would he feel that you disrespected him? Not saying you did but what you think happened can vastly differ from what he thinks. You think you are right, he thinks he is right and with GOOD friends - sometimes the truth is in the middle.
Agh, jeez. That guy sounds like my (ex) abusive boyfriend. He got so frickin' mad at me when I was upset with him for not being able to pay his share of the power bill because he'd spent his money on frivolities. *facedesk* Yeah. Don't keep toxic people like that in your life. It's not worth all the bullsh*t.
This question is exactly what has happened to me a few times and my big thing is my mom keeps saying to me i expect too much of my friends. I see it as if they can't be there for me just as much as I am there for them than i don't need someone in my life that i constantly feel like im not getting enough back from them and they aren't supportive when I need them to be. What is the right answer? am I expecting too much?
Friendship is a two-way street. That said, you'll notice in life that you have some friends who are great listeners and are extremely supportive; while you'll have others who would rather help you out with a task that involves physical labor rather than a supportive ear. Both groups are invaluable and can be there for you -- each group just brings something different to the table.
If you're always being the supportive friend by listening and offering advice, and then feel that when it's you that's in the bind, no one is there to offer you the same in return, you've got to sit back, pause and ask yourself why. Sometimes when we've become the go-to person for advice in our circle of friends, they tend to see us as someone independent that's got it all figured out -- they might just think you don't need them for that sort of thing. On the flip side, if you're the one that's constantly got some sort of drama brewing and you're in constant need of a shoulder or ear, your friends might just see you as someone that's high maintenance and too emotionally needy. They might just run from you when they see you coming because they know what to expect.
The key thing to remember in all of this though is that WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. If you're a good friend, and are honestly supportive of the friends you have in your life, nine times out of ten you'll notice that reciprocity does take place. They'll want to reciprocate because they'll realize that it's to their advantage to keep someone like you in their lives. Just remember that communication is key here too -- if you feel they're not holding up their end of the deal, call them on it and ask why. Once you've gotten answers, you'll be better equipped and able to assess whether that person's friendship is something you'll want to continue to nurture.