He is not in love with you; that's what is missing.
All those things he says about how much he enjoys spending time with you and loves the sex and thinks you're a great person--those could very well be true, but they don't automatically equate to love. Haven't you known guys who seemed perfect for you "on paper," but you just didn't feel it?
Love is the intangible, and love is more than the sum of its parts. You could have every great quality a person can have, but not every guy would automatically love you. Why that is, I don't know. Maybe it's because there is no why; it just is. And it's what make love so unpredictable and magnificent and frustrating as all hell.
Does it mean you've done something wrong? No. Does it mean you are not lovable? Absolutely not. He simply is not in love with you. It happens. It sucks and I'm sorry, but it happens. And no, there is nothing you can do to fix it. If it's love you're looking for, I suggest you stop hanging out with this guy and sleeping with him and waiting for him to fall in love with you, since he has made it clear that's not going to happen. It's time to let him go, move on and find someone who will reciprocate your feelings.
Thanks for the question.
Love sux.., when your the only one in it...
Love doesn't have to make sense... Great answer, Cary.
Thank you, SW.
This happened to me once and it really sucked. His own words, I had all the qualities he was looking for, but he also said he didn't have strong feelings for me. I dated him anyway for a few months hoping he'd come around and at the end he said he never even considered me his girlfriend. Don't hang around hoping his feelings will change. The more energy you invest in this, the more it will suck later, I promise you.
Cary's right, do yourself a favor and get out now. It's not going to get better. If he's not crazy in love with you in the beginning he never will be.
I've done this from the other side. Liked the girl, liked being around her, thought she was stunning...and no spark. Well, not on my end, anyway. I did care about her, so hurting her was just super fun. And by "super fun", I mean "awkward and unpleasant".
One thing, though: at least he's being honest. It'd be so much worse if he tried to string you along. And yes, if you're looking for love, you should probably look elsewhere if you've had a reasonable amount of time together.
this is happening to me, i've been seeing him for a year, He has never said I love you? I've only said it in emails, was waiting for him to say it first , says he enjoyed the sex and have fun doing things eith me, and says actions speak louder than words? no they don't I wanna hear it,we do have a committed relationship, how can it be commited if he foesn't love me?