No. Walk away now. When you see a hornet's nest, do you kick it and hope you won't get stung? Because right now you're about to kick a hornet's nest. The guy is 35, and lives with his fiancée. Clearly he's unsure about his decision to get married and you are about to get in the middle. Or maybe he's just looking to cheat. Either way, this is a bad situation for you.
Why do you want to be a part of this? Your early 20's should be about having fun and figuring yourself out. Maybe you'll meet "the one," or maybe you'll just date around and have fun. It's not worth wasting your time on a soon-to-be-married guy. You don't want to spend your prime dating years being in the middle of his drama. It is unlikely to end well. Even if your affair leads to him leaving his fiancee for you, it still comes at the expense of hurting someone.
You need to back away and let him sort out his relationship. Tell him that you won't be with him as long as he's engaged. If he really has feelings for you, he'll leave the fiancée. If he doesn't, you'll see that he was just looking to get laid and to cheat. And for your own self-respect in the future, don't flirt with guys who you know live with their fiancée. You're better than that.
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Why do you want to be a part of this? Your early 20's should be about having fun and figuring yourself out. Maybe you'll meet "the one," or maybe you'll just date around and have fun. It's not worth wasting your time on a soon-to-be-married guy. You don't want to spend your prime dating years being in the middle of his drama. It is unlikely to end well. Even if your affair leads to him leaving his fiancee for you, it still comes at the expense of hurting someone.
You need to back away and let him sort out his relationship. Tell him that you won't be with him as long as he's engaged. If he really has feelings for you, he'll leave the fiancée. If he doesn't, you'll see that he was just looking to get laid and to cheat. And for your own self-respect in the future, don't flirt with guys who you know live with their fiancée. You're better than that.
Want to ask us a question live? Join the first ever GuySpeak live chat on Wednesday, February 2nd at 1pm.
I meant to vote love it, not hate it! This stupid phone.....
I voted Love It to make up the difference.
That would get you in many troubles, especially if you like him.. Cause he could want only "le beurre, l'argent du beurre, et le cul de la crémière", as we say in French. It means that this guys wants everything without giving anything in exchange : the fiancée, the quiet life w/ her, and you.
Also, he might just be flattered that a young woman such as you is interested in him, and likes to play..
Or maybe he does like you, and then, he would have to leave his fiancée BEFORE doing anything w/ you. No way to do this in any other way.
This question makes me mad, kinda like ScarJo's character in He's Just Not That Into You. For Pete's sake, he's getting married! I mean sure, the fact that he's already hitting on other girls before he's made it past the altar doesn't really bode well for his marital future, but do you really want to be that girl? Get some self-respect and find a guy who isn't already engaged.
(By the way, props to you, Nick, for going easy on her and not getting all angry like I just did.)
All the characters in He's Just Not that Into You make me angry.
Me too.
Ugh. Beware the flirting, married man between the ages of 35 & 40. Been there, done that etc. He's playing you like a fiddle. Don't fall for his crap. You're taking him seriously, but he probably thinks it's just a nice little bit of fun on the side....ugh. Creep.
second this.
Would you want to be her, one day? If the answer is no, then don’t. KARMA…, baby-girl…, KARMA.
The poster of this question adds that the fiance is 40, like this is excuse enough to go for the guy. This makes me angrier than anything else! You are discounting this woman's feelings because she's older than the man. You feel he shouldn't be with her because she is older. I get the feeling you think she's pathetic! But, lets put that aside for the moment...never "go for it" when the other person is still in a relationship, married or otherwise. Have some respect, not just for the others involved, but for yourself! You should make the message clear that if he's interested in you, he had better be available.
I agree! The fact that his fiance is 40 doesn't somehow make what you're doing ok.
Not to mention the fact that once a cheating lying dog, always a cheating lying dog. Why would you want to be with a man who would pursue a girl while ENGAGED to another girl?! There is no justification for that. You should want to be with someone who would NEVER do something like that. Because, otherwise, he WILL be doing that to YOU one day.
You have been warned.
Ive been in a similar situation. LOOK, he may be genuinely interested. But if hes being sneaky and he isnt being truthful with about his fiance, then dont go for it. But if she doubts being with her and has talked to her, I think its fine to go with it OF COURSE only if he is being reasonable, and you two have chemistry. Been there, but I ignored him and was too pessimistic about the idea to let him pursue me. I wasnt sure if he was what I wanted. I think you need to ask yourself that as well! Good luck!