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I like this guy but he is married do i tell him or just let it go?

As an outsider, this is a philosophical question anchored by the same old saying "all's fair in love and war." If you truly believe that when it comes to matters of the heart all other considerations get kicked in the nuts and thrown down the stairs, then yes you should tell him. But if you believe that issues like timing, a person's legally married status, the overall implications and ripple effect of telling a married person you want them is too drastic to ignore then I would let it all go. Find a new crush.

It is not a common occurrence for married people to get loved on in the way you are suggesting. With the marriage status, the ring, etc. comes a force field that most people recognize as impenetrable. It's like a giant tag saying SOLD. If a wedding ring doesn't mean off the market then what does it mean? I like jewelry and am open to dating?
Suppose you told this dude you like him (though I think you should wait 'til you "love him" if you're really going to do it). What are his options? Tell you he loves you too? Tell you he's flattered, but with wife? Tell you that comment is a gross invasion of his current status and speaks poorly to your character?

Before you utter words like that to Mr. Married, think about it long and hard and long and hard. One thing for sure, if it "works" you will be the woman who plucked a married man, and he will be the man who disregarded his wife. Is that the grounds for a good start? Depends, right? Do you believe "All's fair in love and war?"

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5 Comments

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It just cracks me up that people ask these types of questions. Of the hundreds of available single men, she can't find one she likes? At any rate, its always a good reminder that I'm not **TOO** bad a sort after all.

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I've always felt if someone is married, they are firmly off the market. Even if they say they don't love their spouse anymore or are going to leave them.
It's a case of 'if you didn't like it you should've taken your ring off it'.

user-pic

You need a good shake woman. If and when you ever get married - I hope that someone shows the same consideration for your relationship. Why don't you ask this same question to one of your married friends to gain some perspective on this. I dare you.

user-pic

WAIT! I have a brilliant idea! Instead of telling *him*, why don't you tell his *wife* that you have the hots for her hub?
Good idea, huh?

sb123

how can men have respect for us when women don't even respect each other.. this disgusts me, just remember treat ppl the way u want to be treated and what goes around comes around.. u shouldnt have put urself in that position in the first place... very selfish

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