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I like to go deep when giving a blowjob but my man always grabs my hair and likes when I stay there ( making it hard to breathe). I've tried telling him to let me breathe, lol. But he gets to excited. How do i get him to relax and enjoy it at the same time?

You should tell him that you can't breathe, and that you might choke or puke (two things he doesn't want to happen while you're going down on him). Holding your head down is not the coolest move, though I don't blame him. I blame porn. Porn gives guys an unrealistic (and often degrading) outlook on sex. He's seen porn stars perform oral acrobatics worthy of carnival sword swallowers, and wants to be Ron Jeremy in the bedroom. But porn stars are seasoned professionals who are literally performing a "job," while you are his girlfriend who is trying to please him while also not passing out.

Tell him that you feel uncomfortable. I don't know about you, but if the other person isn't comfortable, I can't really enjoy sex. It's like if I'm at the movies, and the person I'm with is sitting there rolling their eyes, sighing loudly, shuffling in their seat, and generally not enjoying themselves, I can't enjoy the movie either. Tell him that if he wants you to go deep, he has to let you drive the car. He should appreciate the fact that you will do the thing that shares a name with the secret informant who brought down Nixon, and just lie back and enjoy. 

Communication in the bedroom is important, particularly when it comes to your physical comfort. Make it fun -- tell him to sit on his hands, or maybe tie his hands to the bedpost with scarves. Then take control and show him that you don't need any help in this department. 
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13 Comments

Laje Kahr

Heh, Deep Throat has to be the all time worst codename.

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I think Ron Ziegler (codename: Whale Boat) would disagree on that assessment. Not to mention Josh "Fatboy" Bolten. Evidently the Secret Service is allowed to be a bit of a dick when it comes to these things.

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Yeah. Though it would be worse if it happened now and he was named after a current porno. "What's your source's codename?" "MILF Hunters 7."

Megan

I hate it when a guy holds my head. I HATE it. It doesn't feel good at all and it makes me gag and want to puke. Way to kill the mood asshold. No head holding!

Mike

I think it's degrading.

I wouldn't want my wife to smash my face into her nether regions when I'm going down on her, making sure I can't breathe, I sure as shit wouldn't do it to her.

Slight nudges of guidance to let him/her know "that feels good, keep doing it" is one thing. But that's just wrong.

Angie

I hate when they hold head down! its like Just take what i give u JEEZ!

monique11

I think you should just breathe through your nose... thats what i do... but that's just me. lol

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If you go deep enough you do block the airway, Monique! It's a little scary when they grab the back of your head, but I kind of like that...depends on what your limits are...

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Holding your head is a non-negotiable. If a guy does it once by accident, you tell him never to do it again. If he does it twice, it's curb-time. Three times, the cops get called.
I'd definitely suggest tying him up (which can be fun), but it shouldn't be necessary. Your safety and comfort should be your partner's first priority, and if he loved you, he wouldn't even be able to bring himself to so that to you if he wanted to, much less have trouble restraining himself.

Seagoatsarah

Nope, that's a dealbreaker, ladies. If he does more than gently touch your hair during a bj, then he doesn't deserve it.

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I love it! When my boyfriend grabs my head it turns me on; I like it rough, though. If he prefers it then try to breathe through your nose.

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my boyfriend tends to get a little rough..he basically takes my head and has me try and deep throat him. but the major problem is i have a hard time breathing. i try to breathe through my nose. but no matter what i do i always some how manage to lose my breathe. i try to make a pattern of breathing through my nose but it really just doesnt seem to help

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I actually enjoy having my head held there for long periods of time, and I like gagging too. But I can hold my breath for 30+ seconds, or I breathe through my nose. I like it rough...some people just don't.

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