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I like to smoke weed. My boyfriend hates that I do it. I love him and I'll stop if it's going to ruin our relationship. He's not over protective, he let's me do whatever I want, it's just the weed that's an issue. He says he's just looking out for me and wants me to focus on school. Should weed even be an issue though?

He is looking out for you. And that's a good thing. Because if your boyfriend is worried that smoking pot is affecting your studies, then you are probably smoking too much pot. I'm not judging you or your weed intake. I say this as someone who knows plenty of very high-functioning and successful stoners. Maybe you can blaze every day and still manage to get the important things done. But if it's to the point where it's affecting your relationship and  schoolwork (at least in the eyes of an outside person who cares for you), then it seems reasonable for your boyfriend to ask you to at least cut back.

Basically it comes down to this: you cut back for him, or you break up and get with a serious stoner. It sounds like you mostly have a good relationship, and pot is the only issue. So it isn't a question of whether or not it should be an issue, because it is the issue in your relationship. And since it doesn't sound like he's going to all of a sudden give up and just decide to smoke up and watch some Futurama with you, it's something that needs to be dealt with if you're going to move forward.

Understand that he's coming from a place of concern--it's no different than if you thought his drinking was affecting your relationship. Yes, pot isn't nearly as damaging to your health. But it's still the elephant in the room in your relationship; the thing that is causing all the strain. Is it worth it?

If he doesn't want you to get high at all, that's a different story entirely. But it seems like he just wants you to cut back for your own well-being, which seems like a perfectly reasonable compromise for the relationship. Ultimately you have to decide whether you want to be with someone who isn't into something that is a big part of your life. But if you do end up breaking up with him over it, realize that you chose pot over someone who cares for you. And if so, that is some seriously strong chronic you're smoking. 
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9 Comments

Gee

"But if you do end up breaking up with him over it, realize that you chose pot over someone who cares for you. And if so, that is some seriously strong chronic you're smoking."

So true. If you can't stop a bad habit for someone you love, then it's definitely a problem.

Ammunitia Monroe

Well stated Nick! I like to drink and occasionally it led to way over heated arguments between me and mt significant other. When he confronted me about how moody it would sometimes made me I took it to heart. We are both former potheads and when it came time for us to take life more serious for the sake of jobs and health we both gave up the pot. So when I realized that yes, the drinking was hindering us I made the choice to slow down a little.

Do I still drink, yes. But I don't as often and when I do it is with an understanding of what the problem was before. In the end it was the simple choice that our relationship was the most important thing. I'd rather have my love in my arms than a drink in my hand.

lindsay

i am not exaggerating when i say that i spent six literal years constantly high, so i have some perspective on the impact it can have on relationships and life. being a frequent stoner is more acceptable at a young age (kids these days!) but at some point it becomes less endearing and evolves to looking ridiculous once real adult life and responsibilities kick in. the same as drinking, you should be looking to cut back to smoking only at occasional social gatherings rather than as a daily relaxing habit, as a transitional stage of maturing and getting your affairs in order. regardless of your boyfriend, no one wants to be the old drunk at the bar, or the twenty nine year old sleeping on a futon surrounded by black light posters and empty funyun bags.

VKnoxville

Man...smoking is awesome.

alexis*

I love you. :)

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WELL SAID! especially that last part. choosing pot over a relationship would be unhealthy. all things in moderation i say. if you really dont want to quit then just cut back. as a slight stoner myself, i approve of this advice!

user-pic

Moderation keeps the recreational side of it harmless... Or so we like to think.

user-pic

Everyone needs a vice, pot is relatively harmless. At least it's safer than drinking, health wise.

user-pic

FUCKING STUPID ASS PEOPLE ahahha smoking is the best it's natural and beautiful it's the cure to cancer..shut the fuck up. smoke your heart out and if your boy friend doesn't like you doing it thats stupid and ignorant he needs to fucking smoke. you're not smoking too much! you never can smoke too much...and the person up there that said "i smoked for 6 years" & blah blah shut the fuck up ahha you sound ridiculous. Smoking helps you through everything. FUCK ALL YA'LL

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