Wow, what a line. He's a creep-- get rid of him. Sleazy dude, meet the curb. You don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. He got mad because you wanted to slow things down? Really? Who the hell is this guy to make the rules? What a horrible walking pile of suckage. It's enough to make me weep for the future of mankind. He deserves to die alone, forever wishing he hadn't been such an enormous tool to that awesome person he once met on the Internet. (Too harsh? I've had a lot of coffee today.)
Clearly you weren't ready to lose your virginity to a guy you barely know. But you did, and now you understandably want to slow things down. There's nothing wrong with that. You need to get to know him and trust him since you rushed into something you weren't ready for. Plenty of people jump into sexual relationships and then decide to slam the breaks -- particularly when they're just getting to know each other.
If he cared at all about you, he would be cool with slowing things down. (And, like you said, it's not like you were making him go cold turkey.) No, he just wants to get laid and will say anything to get what he wants. Therefore, he is human garbage.
And...that's all I have to say about this. You're right to think he's a jerk. I hope you never see him again. Look at this as a learning experience-- no guy should ever tell what you can and can't do. What, is his CeCe Peniston going to fall off if he doesn't have sex for a while? This kind of behavior is a red flag of massive proportions. He's the worst. Bravo for realizing it.
Clearly you weren't ready to lose your virginity to a guy you barely know. But you did, and now you understandably want to slow things down. There's nothing wrong with that. You need to get to know him and trust him since you rushed into something you weren't ready for. Plenty of people jump into sexual relationships and then decide to slam the breaks -- particularly when they're just getting to know each other.
If he cared at all about you, he would be cool with slowing things down. (And, like you said, it's not like you were making him go cold turkey.) No, he just wants to get laid and will say anything to get what he wants. Therefore, he is human garbage.
And...that's all I have to say about this. You're right to think he's a jerk. I hope you never see him again. Look at this as a learning experience-- no guy should ever tell what you can and can't do. What, is his CeCe Peniston going to fall off if he doesn't have sex for a while? This kind of behavior is a red flag of massive proportions. He's the worst. Bravo for realizing it.
Yeah, Nick has this one right (as usual)
I would say it's only a matter of time before it would turn physically abusive. I'm guessing he's older than you and there's been more mental manipulation.
Drop him and never speak to him again.
As they say on the price is right... GOOD ANSWER!
This is messed up on so many levels!
Nick's right, honey. But unfortunately, guys like him are quite rare; things like this happen even after you lose your V-card. They even say things like, "You're not a virgin anymore, what's the big deal?" The big deal is that it is important to you, and any guy who respects you at all would be fine, or at least tolerant. I think most guys just see women as walking vaginas who are only good for a quick poke. But there are a few sweet ones too, like Nick, who are good at heart and don't need to manipulate a girl in order to get some nooky. Keep an eye out for guys like this. They may not look like Mario Lopez or Johnny Depp, but there could be a sweet Zach Braff look-alike just dying to meet you but he can't because you're still with a douchebag. Lose the loser. You deserve more than that!
Dump him. Listen to what Nick says, and be thankful there is someone like him to tell you what to do in this situation. I wish I'd had guyspeak 5 years ago. I was only in high school, and thought I was too young for sex. My boyfriend got mad that i wanted to back track (we'd been pretty hot and heavy, and he kept pushing to the next level), and complained and bitched nonstop for the rest of the relationship. He claimed that I should be LUCKY to be with him, since "No one else would date someone not putting out at our age." It got to the point that every ride home from a date (Like you, I'd met him online, so he lived in another neighborhood, and had to drive me back home) would be of him basically yelling at me (and crying *facepalm*) about how horrid I was to refuse to have sex once more, and how that meant I didn't love him. He truly had me in tears every date, making me think I was a bad person for not wanting to have sex at the age of 16.
If your guy doesn't realize that you should only have sex when YOU feel comfortable with it, then he doesn't deserve you. A real gentleman understands how to treat a lady. You are a lady, and he is NO gentleman.
If he can't get over the fact your first time scared you and you want to slow down to understand why so that you can get to a more comfortable level with it then he needs a boot up his ass.
Alot of girls do feel overwhelmed with the first few times be it because it hurt (which it normally does for the first few times then after that feels different) the emotions they felt or the way their body reacted all play into the overwhelming feelings. Sure we have sex ed to learn to be safe and this that and the other thing but none that I know of ever prepare you for how the body reacts or that it can hurt a girl to lose their v-card, the emotions the messes none of that is discussed. We sort of get left to learn that on our own and that can be scary trying to figure out if this feeling or that reaction is normal or not.
As always with sex it is best to be safe and smart about it, but also make sure you are ready to deal with what comes along with it. Never forget though that after the newness and slight pain of the first few times are done with that if something doesn't feel right or normal it could be getting done wrong or possible bladder infections. Some people think they are ready but after experiencing it decide to hold off for a longer time, to wait for the person they want to marry or even flat out never have it again. Each person is different but if you know you aren't ready never back down until you are, and if the person you're with keeps pushing you for something you aren't ready for it could be time to move on.
This guy clearly does not respect your boundaries. Dump him and don't look back. This goes for all women: if the guy doesn't show respect, kick him to the curb.
Sweetie, you deserve someone so much better.