Has it been a problem so far?
I guess anything could be a dating deal-breaker if the guy is weird or particular enough. I just read a piece on The Frisky by a woman who said a guy stopped calling because her bra didn't match her panties. So, sure, not letting a guy climax in your mouth could be a dating deal-breaker for some men.
But the question, as always, is this: do you really want to date a guy who's willing to break things off, or not date you at all, because you won't do something he wants? It's not like you are refusing to go down on him, and it's not like he doesn't get to orgasm. You'd just prefer not to have that stuff in your mouth, which seems reasonable to me.
Yes, a guy likes to climax in a woman's mouth. It feels good. Really good. But sex and relationships are about what two people want, not one. Each of us has preferences and things we're willing to do or not do. No one will meet every single criterion on anyone else's wish list; nobody is perfect, and nobody is an absolute perfect fit for someone else, no matter what the fairy tales may say.
But therein lies the real beauty of love. Who wouldn't love someone who does everything we want? Real love is about compromise, not in the sense of giving up on what you want in a mate, but giving up the idea that you must get every single thing you want. It's about caring so much for someone, and wanting to be with him or her so badly, that you're willing to accept this person for who they are, which includes things you like and things you wish were different but aren't important enough to make you forgo a relationship.
In other words, if you're kind and fun and loving and intelligent, but a guy rejects you because you won't take his orgasm in your mouth, then he probably isn't worth having.
Some might argue that by the same standard of compromise, you should just do it anyway because the guy likes it. I might agree if the issue were something bigger, like not doing oral at all, but, in my mind, where a guy finishes his blow job shouldn't be a make-or-break thing.
I guess it comes down to how badly he wants it versus how badly you oppose it, and whether or not you think your refusal to allow an orgasm in your mouth has been an impediment to your love life so far. If you've done fine for 33 years without letting a guy come in your mouth, I see no reason to start now, unless you decide you want to. Who knows, you might fall so hard for a guy someday -- a guy who love you for you -- that you'll be willing to do it just because he wants it.
It's all about compromise, right?
Wise-ass you are GOOD!
I can't stand the taste! But nobody has ever dumped me for refusing to let that crap in my mouth; for the most part, the men I've dated are respectful of my wishes in that regard. As Cary pointed out, it's not that I refuse BJ treatment, it's just that I don't want all that comes with it.
If it's that much of a deal-breaker to the guy, you probably aren't meant to be anyways. There are enough good guys out there that won't care.
If taste it the issue.... you just have to aim it at the back of your throat and it goes right down. No touching the tastebuds, no taste.
LOl im sorry but these questions are getting lamer and LAMER. Im really starting to hate men, nasty stupid men. Sick, sick, sick. Stab the guy while hes shooting it in your mouth honey, thats all i can say.
The questions might seem less lame if you read them more closely. There is no guy; it was a hypothetical question.
Now take a deep breath and count to ten.
I'm all for not dismissing something until you try it. I was kinda grossed out at first too, but once I did it a few times, it was fine. Is it my favorite thing? Not really...but I'm a fan of making my bf happy, and I know he does many things for me (sex or not) that he really doesn't like doing. I'm agreeing with Cary on this one. When you get to the relationship stage...it's all quid pro quo. And I don't mean that in a bad way--you want to be with someone who wants to see you happy.
I totally agree. You have really great advice. =)
Cary, you're the man! Thanks so much for answering my question. I feel exactly the way you stated above, I just wanted another male point of view... and my male BFF still thinks I'm, well, "nuts"! I love him to bits and pieces, but he's an idiot lol : )
Sex is always about two people pleasing each other, or should be.
This really isn't an issue unless you meet a guy who says that, in which case, you might want to find out why he wants it. Many guys think that sex is about having an orgasm using a woman as an aid, Maybe they want to do it because they saw it in a porn and don't understand that porn isn't reality. Or maybe he likes how it feels. Anyone who pressures or coerces you into a sex act against your will by offering an ultimatum should probably be a deal-breaker for you, anyway. Regardless, you really shouldn't worry about some non-existent man's fellatio preferences.
BTW, your "BFF" is a douche for saying that.