While you're not leading him on - yet - you are definitely sending him a mixed signal. If you're not interested, why did you even agree to meet him for coffee? Why not tell him on the phone when you all talked that you appreciate his offer but you're just not interested right now? That would have been painless and both parties could have moved on with their lives uninterrupted, stress- and drama-free.
PLUS, you had the leisure of rejecting him over the phone that way. Now you pretty much have to find a way to let him know that you're not interested either during the meetup for coffee or afterwards, when it's possible that he'll be all into you even more.
Good job, exlax.
The other side of this is that maybe you don't know that you're interested yet and by throwing caution to the wind here, you may end up liking this guy. You never know. But if you DO know that you have no interested in even possibly liking this guy, then why even meet him. Just call him up, cancel, and let him know that you don't want to lead him on or make him think that there's any possibility of anything more, so you won't be able to make it but thanks for playing.
Okay, don't say "thanks for playing." That's just arseholish. But, just peace him out and keep it moving so you can go play naked games with somebody you actually are interested in.
Worst place in the world is being stuck with somebody you have no desire being stuck with. Do yourself a favor and make sure that doesn't happen.
It was written.
I slept with a guy I wasn't at all into. Don't know why I did. Might have been lonely and it was the 4th of July. Then he texted me for months! Until I told him to stop and then he was all like "then why did you sleep with me if you weren't into me" - some guys can be worse than girls. Oy vey. Don't even go there honey.
so true!! [guys can definitely be worse than girls sometimes.]
Ha, totally agreed. Last summer I (drunkenly) gave out my phone number to a guy I hung out (JUST hung out, no sex or even making out) with one night. He called me everyday, sometimes up to three times a day, for over a month after. It took many, many, "I'm not interested" talks for him to understand.. I'm not even sure he did understand in the end, he just moved far away, so I guess I wasn't worth the long distance charges, thankfully.
Well said, Anonymous. She could meet him and find out she likes him. People are different in the light of day...and sober.
Then again, I've been getting texts and emails from a guy for a YEAR. And it ended because he stood me up! Twice!
I'm not even sure how to get rid of him at this point. I'm considering going into witness protection.
Urg, I did that a little over a year ago with some guy I went to high school with (no club making out though, thank goodness). He was a sweet guy, and I thought if I gave him a chance I could become attracted to him. Boy, was I stupid. I felt like an asshole telling him I didn't want to go out with him anymore after our coffee date.
Funnily enough, that same guy knocked up his 16 year old girlfriend a few months ago. Good gravy.
I'm guilty of this myself, but I have stopped because I saw that it hurt the other person more than appeased him. There's really no easy way to turn down dates because you're having so much fun being single. It's surprising how many guys I know take that so personally! Even if they're already in a relationship (and not with you).
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