Yes. Go for it. Take a risk. We've all become such risk-adverse wusses when it comes to sex and relationships. Will you get your heart broken? Who knows. Maybe? Hearts are amazingly regenerative, like Wolverine. Who's Wolverine? Ask The Chic Geek.
If the two of you have chemistry, you'd be foolish not to pursue it. I don't believe in love at first sight or "the one." I believe in chemistry and timing. Timing is important: are you both at the same point in your life? Do you both want the same thing at the same time? I blame many an unhappy union on one person who wants a relationship hooking up with one person who wants to go out, have fun, and collect orgasms. Both are totally fine priorities, but just incompatible.
And then there's chemistry, which is ineffable. Why are some people drawn to each other? It's a mysterious cocktail of pheromones, humor, and I don't know what. Sparkling eyes? Boobs? A sexy voice? If I knew the secret to sexual chemistry, and could quantify it, I'd be a rich man who could retire to a champagne jacuzzi on his party submarine.
I have dated women with whom I have chemistry, but the timing was off. I've slept with women I was panting to date, but who just wanted the occasional booty call. And I've dated women who were totally dating material, on paper. We both wanted to scratch "single" off our lame life list, so we settled for zero chemistry. Betting that one day, suddenly, we'd be ambushed with intoxicating lust. That doesn't happen. Two people either click, or they don't. And they either want the same things in life at that moment or they don't.
Go with the chemistry. It's fifty percent of the equation. Follow it. If it leads you off a cliff, enjoy the trip down. Don't worry, you'll bounce. He's a bad boy? Pshaw. You love that. Besides, bad boys are misunderstood. In my experience, some of the most outwardly nicest people are straight up jerks. Never confuse the packaging for the gift.
Grow a spine, try and date this dude and live with greedy, reckless abandon. I've never regretted wilted love, only love that never grew.
beautifully written, and so true!! the last line is downright quote-worthy. great response!
Yes, I agree. This is a great response!!!
wait. you guys hooked up right on the dance floor? Damn. What floor are you dancing on?
GREAT answer!! Loved it, and I agree. Go for it! At least once.
I just have to say "reformed player" you're posts are usually right on, to the point, and well written. Kudos and thanks!
"I believe in chemistry and timing. Timing is important: are you both at the same point in your life? Do you both want the same thing at the same time? I blame many an unhappy union on one person who wants a relationship hooking up with one person who wants to go out, have fun, and collect orgasms. Both are totally fine priorities, but just incompatible."
So effing true it's not even funny.
That last line is really good! I think it's important for people to remember that love is not a concrete thing. It's impossible to measure and impossible to run out. So take a risk, love someone and if it doesn't work out, move on and try loving someone else.
hi this is my question and I really appreciate the answer and really do agree. the timing part makes a lot of sense. Right now he is pulling away from me a lot. I know that he just wants a good time and nothing more but i think he thinks that i want to rush into something. I don't. I'm just going with the flow. Also he might be pulling away because he doesn't want to get attached but i don't exactly know.
This was a great post and a great response. It is very true about timing, no one knows that better than me. I even wrote a book on the subject, "Right Love at the Wrong Time". You can have an amazing connection with someone on all levels (physical, emotional, intellectual & spiritual), but if the timing is wrong, it's not going to work. Does it mean that someone wants/loves you any less, I don't believe so.
Chemistry is a beautiful thing and very exciting. It's not always there. You can go out with a guy cuz he's a "nice guy". I've done that, but if I'm with him and not staring at his lips, butterflies in the stomach, doing spontaneous kegal exercises when he speaks to me, then it's probably not going to work for me. That being said, I say go for it. Yeah, you may risk it not working out, and it might not, but there's something to be said for chemistry and it could lead to other forms of understanding between you two and other connections. You won't know until you try. Good luck!
Depends on what you are looking for and your expectations. Just be honest with yourself. some girls go for bad boys to tame them or conquer them. But take the guy for what he is worth, if he is being honest with you and he is not a commitment type guy, be honest with yourself. You may be setting yourself up for dissapointment if what you really want is a relationship. I used to be attracted to bad boys too, until I gave a nice guy a chance and I've never been happier. You don't realize how great it is that a man actually opens car doors for you, pays for things, won't let you carry a thing, asks how you are doing every day, and is sensitive to your needs. I would never go back now.
kira starr totally stole that quote