If you met six months ago, he lives more than a thousand miles away from you, has spent hours on the phone with you, and paid out of his own pocket to have you visit, there are two options (neither of which are mutually exclusive):
1) You have an amazingly jammin' booty.
2) He really, really likes you.
I think we're well beyond the "booty call" stage at this point, one way or the other. He's putting in the effort, so maybe give him a little benefit of the doubt.
it's possible that he really likes you, but i was in a similar situation and YES - guys will go through all of that hassle just for booty, even if they can get it elsewhere. that you're even concerned about this says that you have doubts about his intentions, so listen to your gut. you haven't spent that much time together, and only time together will tell if you're really compatible or if this is just a fantasy of his and he's taking you along for the ride. right now he has zero responsibility, and if you end up moving for him that's going to change, and you may find that he changes, too...
Perhaps someone can explain just how much hassle he's going through in the described scenario? Sounds like he just bought a plane ticket. Most of us guys can do that in 5 minutes using Orbitz. . .
You gals make hassle sound like anything more strenuous than lying down into a room and waiting for naked booty to trip and fall onto an erection. . .
Yeah, but it still costs some dough. Probably more than a local prostitute, certainly more than a local hook up.
Ah,
I get it. Because you have financial issues that keep you from flying women across the country, you assume that it must be a hassle for other people. . .
So, kamakula,
You're saying you WOULD call a girl everyday (literally, everyday, even when he was out of the country for 3 weeks, and racked up an insane phone bill - ...> 2k to be exact...is that chump change for you too? let's talk...:P jk) for 6 months and fly her out to where you are, just for the sake of the attention and possible booty? No judgment here, as I need honesty. You sound like exactly the type of person I need to be asking.
Ha, see! Rich men don't need to fly women to them, there's plenty who would throw themselves at them living in the area. Even a normal guy, with brains anyway, would still have better uses of his money than flying people around and racking up a huge phone bill for a mere FWB or booty call.
I'll go as far as to say, only a loser dude would have to fly a woman to his town, because he's seen as such a wuss that he can't get laid locally. A guy with that kind of money is pathetic indeed.
Oh, my, sorry, I've been seriously overestimating your intelligence. Let me dumb it down for you:
You man. You want pussy. You fly woman, you pay more for her pussy. You meet woman downtown, you pay less for her pussy. You use savings for even more pussy. If you have lots of money, local women come to you for free, you not need pay woman to fly to you for pussy. You keep your money and invest for more money. Well, not you kamakula, that requires having some smarts than flying a woman across country for mere booty call when you can easily get laid locally.
Well, I didnt have enough space in the text box to add that he has a history of being a player (that he readily admits to). We spent a couple weeks together over the summer, and things were great. I wanted to ask Reformed Player because I just don't get why he is going after me when he has girls throwing themselves at him. Can a player REALLY want to be in a LTR? And I mean, having conversations over phone/skype, for upwards of three hours, for MONTHS, just seems like so much work for booty! I am listening to my gut and not letting myself get carried away...just observing and seeing if his actions live up to all his sweet talk.
Thanks for the personal experience though, I am going to stay guarded for a while!!
Well, I didnt have enough space in the text box to add that he has a history of being a player (that he readily admits to). We spent a couple weeks together over the summer, and things were great. I wanted to ask Reformed Player because I just don't get why he is going after me when he has girls throwing themselves at him. Can a player REALLY want to be in a LTR? And I mean, having conversations over phone/skype, for upwards of three hours, for MONTHS, just seems like so much work for booty! I am listening to my gut and not letting myself get carried away...just observing and seeing if his actions live up to all his sweet talk.
Thanks for the personal experience though, I am going to stay guarded for a while!!
Um....I am in a similar situation, but the difference is we've been talking on the phone for a year and a half, no skype, and we haven't seen each other yet...the guy is holding off seeing me for whatever reason, and it drives me crazy, but the exchange is that we've REALLY gotten to know each other, but on a much more deeper level than I could have even fathom. I have my doubts, too, about him not wanting to see me yet, but I have learned to just TRUST in what he tells me. That being said, you have two options.
1.) Don't hook up with him when you see him.
2.) Don't visit him.
If you have your doubts, I would just gently refuse the offer, and frankly, if the guy didn't talk to you about buying you a plane ticket and putting you in the position of making you feel obligated to go, then I consider him to be inconsiderate.
At least with the 2nd choice, you will see if he continues to keep up the momentum, and let it grow from there.
My guy is/was a player, too, but over the course of time, he's let me known on several occassions that, "I wouldn't talk to you everyday if I didn't care for you."
Good luck!
Riight, in your case, nothing is ever happening for you. You've never met the guy in 1.5 years. . and you never will.
Thanks everyone...I'll be working on staying levelheaded. :)
Your question remind me of my former situation.
The guy said he"love me at the first sight" and he did everything he can to find ways to contact me .After all the wonderful,touching things he did,he still can simply walked away from me and had sex with other woman next day. What i'm trying to say is it doesn't matter how easy he can have sex with other women as he only wants you at this time. Spenting hours on phones and skype for four months is a long long time,but i suggest you don't take this communication too seriously. Buying you air-ticket?You know what will going to happen when you guys meet,right? If you love him,you can give it a try to see what happen. The most important thing is you must be willing to do what you want to do and never give your heart away too easily,even after he had done many romantic thing to you.
The very essence of romance is uncertainty.
Umm, and if I don't love him?
...I like the kid. He's fun, cute, charming, etc. But love comes with trust, and I don't trust him yet. Hence this post.
Right now I'm curious to see what could happen, but my question is just whether or not he's even worth the time.
Interesting topic, hits close to home. Yesterday, I received an offer of a plane ticket to be paid for me so that it wouldn't cost me anything (and he's paying for a suite, etc.) I told him that was very sweet, but I could take care of it (knowing his financial means, it wouldn't be a problem. I guess I am thinking that I want him to know I am fine financially ok...plus I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of him).
So, what are your thoughts? If he re-offers to buy the ticket, should I go ahead and graciously accept? Or stick to paying for it myself.
(I've known this person for about 20 yrs, re-met about a yr ago, live 2000 miles apart, and just recently started exchanging texts/emails after his initial contact with me.)