Why are you embarrassed about online dating? Everyone does it. Match, OK Cupid, eHarmony, etc. It's one of the ways we meet people now. Online dating doesn't have the social stigma it once did. It's really no different-- and probably safer-- than meeting someone at a bar or club.
You can ask him, but he might be offended. If he likes you enough, he may go along with it. But he also might feel uncomfortable lying to your friends. And there's a chance he might think you're embarrassed to be with him. Also, you're going to have to tell people eventually. Making up stories will get awkward. You can't say you met through a friend, unless that friend also agrees to lie. Work is out. Meeting at a bar when you were out with a group of friends is also out. Which friends? If you say you met him when you were out with, say, Karen, then your friends will assume that Karen knows the guy. So what happens when he eventually meets Karen? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE MEETS KAREN? So were you at the bar by yourself? Did he buy you a drink? What drink? What bar? Does he normally go to this bar? Was he out with friends, or flying solo? If he was solo at the bar, will your friends think he has a drinking problem? He's just hanging out at the bar by himself scamming on random ladies? Ew, sketchy. Is that really any better than meeting him on a dating site?
Unless you have a story that you both agree on ("We met at Barnes and Noble. We were both reaching for a copy of Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. Our eyes met, and it was love at first sight..."), you're bound to get caught in a lie. In the end, your friends will think it's weirder that you lied about how you met the guy than that you went on an online date. Hopefully they're supportive about your dating life and will be glad that you've met a nice guy. Why start the relationship off on a lie? Why make him feel uncomfortable? Unless he also feels uncomfortable with your friends knowing that you met online, honesty is the best policy in this situation.
You can ask him, but he might be offended. If he likes you enough, he may go along with it. But he also might feel uncomfortable lying to your friends. And there's a chance he might think you're embarrassed to be with him. Also, you're going to have to tell people eventually. Making up stories will get awkward. You can't say you met through a friend, unless that friend also agrees to lie. Work is out. Meeting at a bar when you were out with a group of friends is also out. Which friends? If you say you met him when you were out with, say, Karen, then your friends will assume that Karen knows the guy. So what happens when he eventually meets Karen? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE MEETS KAREN? So were you at the bar by yourself? Did he buy you a drink? What drink? What bar? Does he normally go to this bar? Was he out with friends, or flying solo? If he was solo at the bar, will your friends think he has a drinking problem? He's just hanging out at the bar by himself scamming on random ladies? Ew, sketchy. Is that really any better than meeting him on a dating site?
Unless you have a story that you both agree on ("We met at Barnes and Noble. We were both reaching for a copy of Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. Our eyes met, and it was love at first sight..."), you're bound to get caught in a lie. In the end, your friends will think it's weirder that you lied about how you met the guy than that you went on an online date. Hopefully they're supportive about your dating life and will be glad that you've met a nice guy. Why start the relationship off on a lie? Why make him feel uncomfortable? Unless he also feels uncomfortable with your friends knowing that you met online, honesty is the best policy in this situation.
I don't know how dating website work because I'm not a loser (just kidding), but is there a way to "friend" people, like in social networks? Do you guys have "mutual friends" on the dating site? Maybe you could tell people you guys have mutual friends, and allow them to infer as they wish.
I would just tell him I feel a little silly about meeting on a dating site, and a little too embarrassed to admit it to my friends. Maybe pitch my mutual friends thing, assuming that is how dating sites work? Then it wouldn't be a lie-LIE, ya know?
On the other hand, who cares what other people think?
Right. Who cares what people think? And, what, you're going to lie forever? People will think it's weirder if you make something up. And there's nothing weird about online dating. I have many happily married friends who met on dating sites. It's not 1989. Meeting online is as common--and often safer--than meeting someone in a bar.
I'm the girl who asked the question. The reason I feel uncomfortable is that I'm only 19 (although I've been in a lot of relationships) and my friends are immature about this sort of thing and I don't think they'd understand why I tried the internet rather than more traditional ways, plus a guy I have history with will be at the party.
Anyway, I'm going to tell this guy how I feel and discuss it with him.
I understand why you would feel weird. I'm only 21 and I met my current bf online since I feel more comfortable meeting guys online versus at a club or a bar. Unfortunately people our age think that stuff is kind of weird hence why I feel the urge to lie as well. Like Nick said though, the lying gets complicated so if you choose to fabricate a story, make sure you stick to it and it makes sense.
Good luck :)
I am in the same situation, though I am 23. I just started dating a guy that I met online, but he was the one who brought up that he's embarrassed to tell his friends about meeting online. It's embarrassing for me as well, but I've told my close girl friends the truth. To other people, I just say we met through some friends. The big thing for me is my parents. I know my parents' opinions of this guy would be lowered if they found out that we met online. My mom thinks it's dangerous, and would lecture me about safety. I have lied to them as well, so I feel bad, but I don't think that it's super important how you met.
I am in the same boat. I did meet a guy online once for coffee, it was super awkward, and I had to lie to my friends when they found out I went out with him because I was embarrassed. I'm only 20, so when they found out some were understanding but some looked at my like I was insane. It's a weird situation our generation is still getting used to, but sooner than later, it will be as socially acceptable as meeting someone at a bar, or a library.
I was in the very same situation. However, after our first few dates we became friends on Facebook. We both noticed that we have several mutual friends. We both decided to tell our friends that we met through a mutual friend. It prevents the akward questions that their friends and your friends may ask. We have both talked about eventually telling everyone once we see where the relationship is goes.
I met my husband online over ten years ago, and I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. He made the biggest redemption of his. My car broke down, and I had to call my Mom to pick us up. I introduced him as a friend from college. He ballsed up and confessed who he really was. He endeared himself to my Mom to him ever since.