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I met a guy. He's intensely into me in a way I've never experienced. He is fresh off a horrible breakup from a 5 year relationship where they were living together. We clicked instantly but I can tell he's not ready to get involved. What do I do?

This guy sounds a little loonycakes, but in a strangely appropriate way. And you're wise to be leery of it. The relationship, so far, sounds exciting, and passionate. Most dudes have become apathetic man-sponges when it comes to chasing tail, or pursuing hearts (the two are not mutually exclusive.) So I'm sure hanging out with a guy who's really, really, really into you is a nice change from a guy who's all eye rolls, monosyllabic grunts, and complicated emotional relationships with video game consoles.

Here's the thing though: he's on the rebound, and he probably doesn't know it. But now you do. You have two choices: enjoy the ride, or bail. Whatever you do, you can't hang out with this guy and have any expectation that it will go anywhere. He's in a totally different headspace than you. Maybe he's trying to find that thing that was missing from his last relationship. Or maybe he's trying to engineer, prematurely, what he had in his last relationship, essentially going from 0 to 60 immediately.

But this is useless speculation. He's on the rebound, and you know that. Be smart about this: sometimes a fun romp sans clothes with someone who's not looking for a real relationship can be fun. But this isn't a challenge. Don't look at it as one.

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7 Comments

Keesto

Unfortunately loonycakes is a fairly apt word for describing anyone who has been in a 5 year relationship that wasn't perfect (which is most 5 year relationships.)

I have been in crazy mans situation before, sadly, and I feel the mister Reformed Player completely hit the nail on the head. The dude has a serious journey to undertake before he is a fully ripe honeydew.

Keesto

Unfortunately loonycakes is a fairly apt word for describing anyone who has been in a 5 year relationship that wasn't perfect (which is most 5 year relationships.)

I have been in crazy mans situation before, sadly, and I feel the mister Reformed Player completely hit the nail on the head. The dude has a serious journey to undertake before he is a fully ripe honeydew.

Cary McNeal

Chasing tail.

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Same thing happened to me. Easy come easy goes, now he doesn't talk to me and keeps yapping on facebook about his ex gf.

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wow....that is what happened to me.......now i can really see the ass for what he really is.....I had someone in similar situation....he broke up with his gf...we went out a few times....he told me that he was taking her back...then he called me 2 months later...we got involved really...really involved...then he cheated on me with her....i forgave him....then he cheated with his hairdresser....then he told me he was taking the ex gf back....i had enough and told him off.....now he's with someone else altogether...what gives with that?

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Just wait and take it slow. 5 years is a long time. Don't rush anything. He might even go back to her. He needs time to figure out his own life before he can consider adding someone to it.

To the person above ^, you are really annoying and I'm trying hard not to swear at you. Do you not know how to write? Stop putting periods after every sentence, moron.

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James, the three periods are called ellipses. I think she was trying to show her anxiousness. It's a pretty spiffy writing tool, but I can see that you were annoyed because it was overdone. Meh.

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