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I met this guy on a dating website and we've been emailing for about 2 weeks with no talk of meeting up. I don't want to make the move because I don't want to set a precedent of making things too easy for him. The convos are fun but what gives?

Yes, two weeks is too long to be emailing a stranger. For all you know, he could be a Nigerian prince who would be glad to share his vast wealth if only you would share your Social Security number. And it does indeed set a bad precedent: If he's already showing signs of laziness this early into the relationship, chances are he'll answer every question with, "I don't know. What do you want to do?" 

With online dating, I'm a big fan of getting offline as fast as possible. Sure, you love his witty email banter. But what if that translates to zero chemistry in person? That's a lot of wasted time (and email bandwidth). Plus, there's the danger of "too much too soon" with email flirting-- you could both end up spilling your life story over the Intertubes and killing any potential mystery. You can certainly drop hints that you'd like to meet up in person, and hope he picks up the crumbs. But if he doesn't get the idea, he's probably as dim as those kids in Hansel & Gretel. (Boy, they were dumb. If a house is made out of candy, odds are good it's the work of a hideous witch.)

Honestly, after a week or so of email back-and-forth with no forward momentum, I usually get bored. (There are far too many video games to play and comic books to read.) If he's not at least suggesting getting together for coffee by this point, time to control-alt-delete him.
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5 Comments

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Hey thanks, Nick. This is exactly what I was feeling, I just needed another guy's opinion to confirm. I'm done with this loser!

meiggs

100% agreed. I prefer to talk a little as possible online (enough to establish sanity...or hope for it) and just meet in person for coffee. I hate showing up and having nothing to discuss. There is also a lot less emotion invested in it if it doesn't work.

ocnlvr83

I once spoke to a guy online for a whole month before we met up in person. Technically, it was three weeks, since he said we had to meet on New Year's Eve. Anyway, we had an amazing connection online, and in person it was slightly the same way. Our second date was much better than the first, but it didn't get past that point. He broke it off after the second date, citing the distance between us as a problem.

Sorry for the mini-story, I just thought I would throw my two cents in about this.

user-pic

Glad I'm not the only one that had this happen to her. Seriously...what's up with that?

user-pic

I met my fiance' online, we had chatted every day and finally met up last year face to face. It was love at first sight and a great connection. We have been together ever since and are so much in love that last year on Christmas he proposed, and now we are making wedding plans. If the guy is willing to help make it work it will work.

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