Because he was lying. Talk is cheap, and we avoid conflict by saying what we think others want to hear even when we know it's not necessarily true. Or maybe he meant it at the time but changed his mind after he started thinking about why you guys split up in the first place. Or maybe he meant that he wanted you in his life as a person to ignore.
One question: are you sure he's ignoring you? I assume you've given him plenty of time to reply, but if not, maybe he's just busy. It's the holiday season, after all. Or maybe he was abducted by aliens. They tend to be very active in the winter months.
If you've given him plenty of time to answer, then yes, he's no longer interested in you, unfortunately. Or fortunately, since I'm a pessimist when it comes to rekindling broken romances. People don't really change, and unless you guys have done some serious work on the issues you had while together -- and by work I mean lifestyle changes, therapy, discussions -- then the chances of succeeding a second time (or third, fourth, whatever) aren't that great.
What you see as rejection might very well be a blessing.
Some guys' actions are driven by ego. An ex of mind spent years not able to commit, until I dumped him then all of a sudden wanted me back. But just as soon as I'd contact him, give me the cold shoulder. He just wanted to know he could still push my buttons and it was an ego boost. Question is, do you even want to be with him ? If you are honest with yourself, remind yourself the reasons why you broke up in the first place. If those are still valid reasons, then let the past stay in the past. You deserve a 100% partner.
Yes, I've given him plenty of time to answer, so you are probably right that he is no longer interested. Personally I think he's a complete ass for not responding when he's the one that started it all by contacting me first. But his behavior has given me the umph I needed to wake up and realize it's really over. I'm not going to lie and say my feelings arent hurt, but whatever, I deserve more than some guy that thinks it's okay to leave someone hanging. Thanks Cary!
You're welcome. Sorry the news isn't better. But then, I could be wrong. There's a first time for everything.
ok, Wise-Ass, i've got a similar one with a twist. He says he wants me in his life and that he loves talking to me, he introduced me to his best friends and all that stuff. but he can't deal with the distance (Taiwan-Maine) we really have a connection and got a kick out of hanging out. but we havent met each other since last feb. So, we're deciding to call a time out in forcing ourselves through a relationship that neither of us can cope with. Im fine with that. I'm moving to boston this summer to study and he is going to college there, we are both hoping that we can catch up then. He wants to date other girls in the mean time (fine with that, he has already done a lot for me in a 6 month committed LD relationship) He's my best friend and i go to an international school so people are always coming and going and that's why i have been able to feel comfortable with keeping our relationship alive through emails and skype calls. But now, there is a girl who he's interested in. But she won't let him unless he cuts all ties off with me. He has been arguing with that girl for almost a month now, and she still doesn't want me there, while he still wants to date her, and still wants to talk to me. I'm terrified that he will do what she wants because she is the first girl to ask for a relationship with him and he has been pented up the whole time. I'm fine with him dating. I just dont want to get cut off. help me, please
1. I usually ignore people who ask questions in the comments not directly relating to the question (because it's a lot like cheating), but what the heck, it's Christmas.
2. It sounds to me like your original reason to go to Boston was more to be with him than study. Sure, Boston has some good colleges, but who are we kidding? Plus, it takes time to plan an international move and you likely did it while you two were still in a relationship.
3. Assuming point 2 is true (and be honest!), you shouldn't be okay with him dating that girl. I know it's tough and it sucks like hell, but she got her little claws into his heart. What confuses me is this; what do you mean the other girl is the first to ask him for a relationship? Didn't you just say you guys were doing the whole long distance thing?
4. If you are really okay with him dating, then be prepared to lose him. Boston is a big city and you'll make other good friends and find another nice guy.
My Ex was the same way! He gave nothing and expected everything in return. I finally learned that we both had severe insecurities. I have since moved on and no longer accept such shallow behavior. My life is so much better now that I have found out that the only person who can make me happy is myself. To Hell with the guys who need me to boost their egos by treating me like Crap!