How do I get him to go to the dentist? Wrong question. Correct question? How do I get you to understand that pleading for yous boyfriend to care for his basic personal hygiene is not reasonable. I am often rather surprised, but lenient, with the population of guys I shall dub The Lost Boys of Basic Hygiene. Guys who, as I've mentioned in earlier posts, don't have a lot of experience dating, or an older sibling telling them what females require as baseline personal grooming behavior.
Some grooming and self-care falls through the cracks. Usually this covers things like, overgrown toenails, bubbling unibrows, jutting ear wax, mustache hair covering entire upper lips and general BO. But not visiting a dentist in years? Oral hygiene is very important and sick mouths cause problems; not just in getting laid, but in one's basic health. If he was one of those super hippies who was anti western and carefully cared for his mouth with twigs and horse tail floss - fine go for it, but your boyfriend is doing nothing.
I hate to think of you kissing this guy and getting a mouthful of his blood, filmy tartar, and last week's popcorn. I hate to think about it, but it seems I like to write about it. In any case, a boyfriend who bleeds from the gums and refuses to act on it isn't cute. This isn't him forgetting to wash his hands every once in while; this is him letting his mouth rot. How do you get him to go to the dentist? Ultimatum. He has 48 hours to join the bipedal community or throw him back to the sea. There are plenty of guys out there who know that Colgate isn't just an over-priced college in New York State.
Funny Guy
Sounds like my ex. Absolute man-child. Sometimes they need to live by themselves without going straight from mummy telling them what to do, to a girlfriend telling them what to do. Unfortunately you might have fallen for the person before you discovered that they lack the ability to look after themselves like an adult, and if they haven't changed for themselves at this point in their life it sounds horrible but they probably won't change for you. I've been there. It sucks.
"No sex until your gums don't bleed any more, because that shit is nasty" might work. But he really has to want to do it for himself, and if he doesn't have that drive, then nagging at him isn't going to work. It really won't. YOU know you've got his best interests at heart, but to him it sounds just like parental whinging and if he's childish enough to not brush his teeth then he's certainly too childish to take helpful adult advice as anything but nagging.
If his gums are bleeding he probably has gingivits and this could lead to periodontal disease. This can actually lead to other health issues bone deterioration, teeth loss, and increased heart problems.
Instead of dumping him (right away) I would set up an appointment and tell him I was going with him. If at that point he refused to go I would have a conversation about his health and that you want to be with someone that takes care of at least the basics. If he can't do that, then re-evalute.
Good Luck.
You should be worried about your health too; the bacteria in his mouth could actually cause you to get cavities and who knows what else: http://www.newser.com/story/115112/dental-health-cavities-can-be-contagious.html
First of all does he have dental insurance. Dentists are expensive. Is cost a consideration why he doesnt go? You need to find out why. Many people are afraid of the dentist. Does he brush his teeth regularly? He will still need to get his teeth looked at but find out why he wont go would be the first step.
I have known people who have DIED because they didn't take care of their teeth (go to dentist, brush/floss, etc.). The bacteria from their rotting mouth got into their blood stream and killed them. He needs to start taking better care of himself so he doesn't run this risk!
No one might like hearing this but it's true. My Dad died from the same thing. He hadn't gone to see a dentist in 10 years and didn't take care of his teeth. Maybe if your b/f knows what could happen it'd make him try harder?
Maybe he has a phobia of the dentist. I know I did. I didn't go for about 8 years (!!!!) When I did go back they were absolutely fine (thank god). If this is what is wrong with your bf then you should help him find a good dentist. Before I went back I researched dental practices, found a dentist that was amazing and that I felt comfortable with (he takes the time to explain everything to me) and now i don't mind going half as much as I did before!! It could be that he had a bad experience with dentists when he was growing up. He might be embarrassed to admit it to you, so maybe you could help him out, make an appointment for him and go along with him. It's also a good thing to let your dentist know that you are a little nervous or totally freaked out because they take that on board when they are treating you.
Suggest flossing or mouthwash if he won’t go…, it’s a start.
His breath must be outstanding. The good news is, he won't be able to sneak up on you.
In two words, Please Dump Him, I've had several BF's that surprised me after a few months with bad hygiene issues. It's not able to be changed. I didn't think I had to ask if a guy showered or brushed his teeth but it seems i should have. My Male cousin divorced his wife for one reason, she refused to take a shower, she washed up in the sink. He discovered this after moving in and having a child. 🔴 I'm sorry you had this problem.