That you have the hots for an inked booze slinger makes you freaky enough to catch his interest. So next time you see him... just be into him.
I think there's far too much emphasis placed on "types." If you're into someone, you're into someone. And I don't care if you're a tattooed bartender or a death metal bassist or an accountant -- if a smart, attractive human being has an interest in you, it's hard to ignore.
The best way for you to make a move on him is to ignore all those things about him that make him special/sexy/dangerous in your eyes. Pretend he's an innocent, overgrown Boy Scout. Talk to him like he's just an average dude, and find out who he is. I know for a fact that people who look funky on the outside are oftentimes totally normal on the inside. I've dated some mousy women who would turn into crazy she-devils behind closed doors. Blushing maidens with butt plug collections, for instance.
I dated a body piercer for about five years, long ago. She was perforated all over. Tattooed as well. I looked wholesome. Innocent. I had nerd glasses, and wore button down shirts, and my milky skin was free of barb wire tats. Her nickname for me was "Narc." I use to help clean the tools she'd use to punch holes in people. We weren't right on paper, but we were in practice. Eventually, it was what we had in common that undid us.
Treat him like any regular dude. Ignore the tyranny of "types." Chemistry is about molecules, magic, and fire. It's about blood and nerves and bones. It's not about skin.
my question is if she's trying to "catch his eye" when she's at the bar and he's on duty.
it's a bartender's job to flirt.
It's definitely part of their job; keeps people coming back to buy drinks! That said, asking what they're doing after work or whatever has worked a few times for me. If they agree to meet you outside of work, that's the first part answered. Then just show up, and be yourself.
Take it from me, darling--don't date the bartender.
I spent 4 months and too much money trying to catch the eye of one. Well, I did, but he thought he could have me just like he had all the others. Little did he realize...homie don't play like that.
I'll spare you the details, but lets just say I got to pop his little ego bubble and all of the other bartenders knew that he went home alone that night. Bartenders flirt (it helps them make bank on tips) and they can be sluts. Not all of them are, but you'd be better off finding an inked and pierced stud on your side of the bar.
By the way-I'm an inked and pierced girl, and while I like some men the same, I also have a thing for sweet guys in glasses and button downs. It works both ways.
i dated a bartender for a season as well. it's worth it if you like emotional rollercoasters that end in train wrecks. after all, if it didn't hurt you emotionally, then you probably weren't that into him, right?
bartenders play single serving psychologists. so they care about you and what's going on - to a certain point. after you hit that barrier, you're lucky if you break through it. it's a very non-commital position - bartenders spend a good 3-7 minutes of energy into you, and then they're on to the next person. but for those 3-7 minutes, he's making sure you're comfortable and happy and invoking trust. it's easy to fall for that. but when you see him spending the same amount of energy and care into another person, you realize you're not that special.
i'm not trying to be negative or discouraging. go for it, chase your prize, get your win. if you're looking for something casual, bartenders are the way to go. but if you're looking for more, just be cautious.
good luck!
I agree...some pierced, tattooed guys can be real sweethearts. And some "normal" looking guys can be totally freaky, and not in a good way.
One thing I've noticed about the pierced tattooed guys is that they want to be treated like anyone else. Talk, flirt a little, ask about an interesting tattoo, or if you're really brave, ask where he got it and who he recommends (even if you have no intention of getting inked, you might change your mind someday). Then say goodnight, and leave. The key is to be as nonchalant as possible. He may or may not go out with you, but he'll really remember you.
I'm dating a bar manager from a local upscale restaurant, and he's great! We didn't jump right into dating, though. My friends and I have a standing girls' night out Wednesdays at his restaurant. I got to know him gradually during those evenings and, after about 6 months, he slipped me his number. We took things slow from there and got to know each other better before becoming a couple. He's very sweet and thoughtful and I've never had another man work so hard to make me happy. I know he isn't some "man whore" because I got to know him before anything physical happened. Yes, he gets hit on all the time, but I don't worry about him cheating. Especially since he wears his hear on his sleeve where I'm concerned. (The other regulars were calling him my boyfriend long before we stared dating.) I say get to know your tattooed bartender, take things slow, and see what happens.
i'm confused - bartenders are paid to be flirts, right..
but every time I go to the bar order drinks or shots he always gives them to me for free. I always offer and hand him my card. he never takes it... so I tried to leave him a tip and he smiled and threw it back to me.
I don't get it?
I'm a heavily tattoed male bartender in NYC. I like pretty blonde non-tattoed girls. I'm sure he does too if he threw your tip back to you. Dating in NYC is rough. Goodluck.
What a lovely day for a 1620932! SCK was here